Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sean Talk

“I’ve been thinking about our situation.” I said.

My hand was resting on Sean’s chest, his arm wrapped around me. We had just finished celebrating Sean signing the lease for his new apartment and spending the last free night at a hotel together.

“Did you come up with anything?”

“Well, it’s not ideal, but I think we could pull it off.”

“Go on.”

“What if we just alternated whose place we meet up at?”

“That doesn’t really provide the ‘neutral ground’ you had laid out in the rules.”

“I know, but it’s the only thing I can come up with.”

“Really? Because I have a different idea.”

“What’s that?” I asked rolling on to my stomach to look at Sean.

“Faith,” he said moving my hair away from my face, “We have fun together, right?”

“Yeah, the sex is amazing.”

“I definitely enjoy the no-strings-attached sex, too, but I can’t do this anymore.”

“Are you trying to call this off?”

“No.” Sean sat up, “I’m saying that I want to be able to do other things with you. The sex is…amazing but I’m at the point where I want to date you more than I want to have sex with you.”

“That’s not really the deal we made when we started this thing, Sean.” The mood had definitely been shot and I started putting my clothes on.

“I know,” he sighed then he started laughing.


“Nothing, it’s just that usually the woman is the one that wants the relationship and the man that doesn’t.”

“Where’s my underwear?” I said trying to get out of the room as fast as possible.

“Faith,” Sean said handing me my underwear and jeans, “We need to talk about this.”

“No we don’t. I’m gonna go. I’ll let you cool off for a few days and then we can restart this thing. WHERE IS MY SHIRT!?”

“You’re holding it.” I looked at the wad of fabric in my hand and turned bright red. While Sean stood up and put on a pair of boxers, I awkwardly tried to put my head through the sleeve of my shirt. When I finally got my shirt on Sean was standing in front of me. He took my shoulders and sat me down in a chair. He sat across from me on the bed and leaned forward.

“I know I’m not alone in how I feel, Faith.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This is something you want too, you’re just afraid of getting hurt again.”

“Sean I don’t want a relationship with you.”

“You might not want it to have that label but you’ve been having a relationship with me for weeks.” I stared at Sean hard, “You send me pictures of yourself in lingerie, you send me dirty text messages, you offered to help me find an apartment for crying out loud!” He was yelling now.

“You asked me to help you with that!” I yelled back.

“You didn’t have to say yes!”

I was at a loss for words and said the next thing that came to my mind, “I need my shoes.”

“What did this guy do to you?”

“Nothing….it….it wasn’t like that.” Sean looked into my eyes with a questioning look, “He was engaged.” I said quietly. Then I started crying.

I stood up to leave, shoes or not, and started walking to the door. Sean caught me and held me in an embrace while I sobbed onto his chest. I explained the whole Kevin saga between sobs and eventually fell asleep with Sean next to me. In the morning I felt embarrassed beyond belief and apologized for my behavior.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Now, can I pick you up at 7 tomorrow night or would you rather meet me somewhere instead?” He smiled at me and cocked his head.

I gave him my home address and told him I’d call him tomorrow. He walked me to the door and then gave me another kiss that was soft and gentle. I got chills; we stood in the doorway kissing for awhile before I absolutely had to leave.

When we broke away Sean smiled and asked, “What was that?”

“A thank you.”

Monday, June 28, 2010


Veronica called me today to talk about a possible change to the interviewing schedule.

“Faith, I’m looking at these writing samples and have weeded them through, but I was wondering what you would think of calling the candidates I’ve selected for a general interview.”

“I can do that. If you’re done I can pick them up later today or tomorrow.”

“I should be done tomorrow. I think doing this first interview will help us gauge the people that aren’t right for the company. I’m not going to include any of our current employees who filled out applications, though because I know that they’re a good fit since I hired them.”

“Alright, that sounds great. I’ll pick them up tomorrow after lunch and start scheduling interviews for later in the week. Do you want to be there for these?”

“No, I just want you to get the socially inept people out of our applicant pool.”

“Okay, I can do that.” I said giggling.

She said goodbye and we hung up. I went to check my e-mail and got a message from Sean:

I think that third apartment is perfect for me so I don’t think I need you to go out looking at any more places. Thanks for your help. I’m calling the landlord today to let them know I’d like to sign the lease. Wanna celebrate later tonight at my hotel?
P.S. Can you wear the same underwear in the photos? Cause that was really hot.

I smiled and replied back that I would meet him later tonight but that I needed to pick up Murphy from the vet. He’s finally home!!! I asked Zoey to drive me there after work and she obliged. In the car I was antsy and excited to finally be able to give Murphy a home (and a giant kitty castle to boot).

“After we pick up Murphy let’s drop him off and go get dinner.” Zoey said.

“No can-do. Sorry.”

“Why? You’re usually free tonight, we haven’t had a hang out night for weeks!”

“I know, but I told Sean I’d meet him later.”

“If memory serves me right you guys don’t eat or go to dinner so why not just eat dinner with me and then I can drop you off at his hotel.”

“Alright. Point taken.”

We got to the vet’s office, kitty kennel in hand, ready to pick up Murphy. He was in his kennel with all of the stuff I had brought throughout his hospital stay scattered around him. He was sitting up and wagging his tail, like he was waiting for me. I placed all of his stuff inside the kennel I had brought and then put him in it. He didn’t put up a fight or anything. I think Murphy was just as ready to go home as I was to have him there!

I signed the discharge papers and paid the bill (ouch!) while Zoey took Murphy to the car. The vet gave me his pills and a special immune system boosting food and said that when he finished the medicine I should bring him back in for a check-up. I thanked the vet and then left.

When we got him up to the apartment I put the kennel on the floor and left the door open. Murphy was a bit hesitant to come out; it took him about 20 minutes to finally feel comfortable enough to walk out of the kennel. Meanwhile, Zoey and I decided on a dinner spot (a Mexican place) and I went to change into the lingerie I had worn in the photos I sent Sean.

During dinner, Zoey wanted to talk about Sean some more.

“I want to meet him.”



“Cause it’s against the rules. Anyway, I don’t want Sean to be involved in my personal life. He’s in my life to satisfy me and vice versa. We both agreed to it.”


“Zoey, why don’t you date? We always talk about my sex life but you never bring up yours. It wasn’t always like this….”

“I haven’t had any relationships to dish on. I’ve been busy at work and stuff.”

“Have you tried internet dating or speed dating or anything?”

“No. I’m not really looking for a relationship right now and the past few dates I’ve been on have been disasters. You remember the last guy, right?”

“Yeah. I do…but don’t you have….needs?”

“I can take care of those just fine with a set of batteries and some molded silicone.”

“Yeah but…when was the last time…?”

I could tell Zoey was uncomfortable but I was kind of annoyed with her about the Sean thing so I kept pushing.

“About two years, okay?”

“Oh my God, Zoey!”

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Zoey looked over her shoulder at some strangers who were looking our direction. She put her hands up on both sides of her head trying to shield her face.

“I’m sorry….but two years!? You need an arrangement like Sean and I have…”

“I don’t need anything. And I certainly don’t need some complicated non-relationship with rules and stuff.”


After dinner Zoey dropped me off at Sean’s hotel where he thoroughly enjoyed my outfit and living through the photos from before. When I got home Murphy was laying at the top of his kitty castle snoring.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Castle Hunting

I got an e-mail from Sean with a list of appointment times and addresses to go look at this morning. I grabbed my digital camera and headed out. First, I stopped at the vet’s office, said hello to Murphy and spent some quality time with him. He’s looking really good and meowed for the first time today. He’s even playing with the toys I bought him, but he loses his energy pretty quickly.

I went to the first address and didn’t even bother taking a video. It’s shocking how much money people expect for apartments that teeter on the side of unlivable. You’d think they would clean the apartment to make it look nice beforehand but there wasn’t even a lock on the door. I obliged the landlord and looked around the place for about five minutes.

“I’ll tell him to call you if he’s interested.” I said excusing myself.

The next address was nice so I took a video of the various rooms. The building had an elevator and the apartment I was looking at has a pretty large bathroom for a one bedroom, so that’s a definite plus (or maybe I just think that because I’m a woman and appreciate a large amount of counter space in bathrooms).

“Thanks, I’ll make sure he calls you if he’s interested.” I said to the landlord as I left.

The final apartment was about the same caliber as the second one. It didn’t have as large of a bathroom but it had exposed brick walls and an amazing kitchen-living room combo with a granite island. I took video of the rooms and thanked the landlord for their time.

On the way home I stopped at the pet store and bought the most adorable kitty castle. It has a built in hammock on the top with green curtains on either side. In the middle tier there’s a cat scratching post on top of a cube with circles cut out on two sides. The bottom tier has a tunnel that connects to the right side of the cube and has a feather rope hanging off of it. It’s covered in brown carpeting with green accents and is SO cute. I asked the store to have it delivered tomorrow, which they agreed to do. It’s not heavy, I just can’t walk home with something so large and awkward.

I stopped and picked up a toasted sandwich from a deli on the way home and then uploaded the videos to my computer so I could send them to Sean. I might have also thrown in some tempting photographs of myself in some underwear, too.

I called Zoey and told her about my day.

“So you and Sean aren’t just hooking up anymore, then?”

“What? No.”

“Really? Cause you’re acting like his girlfriend, Faith.”

“No, I’m not. We have an agreement and he understands that. I’m not crossing any lines.”

“No, you’re just sending him mixed signals altogether.”

“Zoey you don’t even know what you’re talking about.” I said getting irritated.

“Faith, you’re helping him find an apartment, you’re sending him sexy pictures, you guys go on dates…tell me what I’m missing here.”

“We don’t go on dates, that was once and it was because he needed to talk to me. The other times were because we were new to the whole ‘hooking up’ thing. After we set up some ground rules we haven’t broken them.”

“Okay. What about the text messages he sends you making sure you get back okay?”

“What about them?”

“Faith, the guy is falling for you….you just don’t want to see it. And you know what else?”

“What?” I said shortly.

“You’re falling for him too, and you just haven’t realized it yet.”

After that I made up an excuse to get off the phone. Zoey’s wrong. I don’t have feelings for Sean outside of the realm of sexual feelings. I’m helping him out with his apartment because he asked me to and I happen to have the time to do it right now, that’s all.

Friday, June 25, 2010


I stopped by the vet’s office and brought some work things with me to be productive while I hung out with Murphy.

“What do you think of this armchair?”

Murphy twitched.

“You’re right…I need something more like this, right?” I pointed to a white and cerulean blue desk.

He yawned.

“Still not good enough? I know….how about a gray and lavender color scheme? This office chair would be perfect.”

Murphy stretched and started purring. I smiled and continued thumbing through the office furniture catalogue Veronica had given me. I decided on a sleek gray desk set with a matching office chair, lavender armchairs with a gray and lavender accent rug for a receiving area for guests and a glass and gray coffee table with a lavender couch and matching book shelves to go on either side of it. The couch also has gray cushions to go with it. Finally, my file cabinets are gray but I’m thinking about bringing a spider plant and a glass vase with purple orchids in from home as well as some other things to dress them up and add some flare.

The vet walked in while I was stroking Murphy.

“So, Murphy is making great progress and I think he can be brought home within the week. We just want to make sure he doesn’t have another relapse so we’re going to hold him for observation for a few more days.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“He’ll be a little less energetic than you would expect a cat of his age to be but he’ll slowly regain his energy and I think he’ll be just as playful as a kitten when he’s completely better.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, Murphy didn’t really get to have that when he was a kitten so he’ll probably want to be more playful now that he’s not in such an oppressive or abusive environment. Not being so ill helps too.”

I thanked the doctor and when he left, I gave Murphy a big hug. I said good bye and put him in his kennel. Luckily, I was able to power through the rest of my applications while at the vet’s office and am happy to say that I got them to Veronica three days early.

I spent my night looking at kitty castles online and decided to go to a local pet store tomorrow now that I knew what I wanted. I’m keeping my promise.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Hunt is On

I saw Sean sitting in a booth at the burger place when I got there. We ordered some food and talked about Murphy and my new job.

“I am in LOVE with my new office! I even get to pick out the furniture I want for it. I’m so lucky I found this job…it’s like heaven.” I gushed.

“That sounds awesome, Faith. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks….so what did you want to talk to me about?”

Sean took a sip of his soda before starting, “You know how we had that rule about us only meeting in my hotel room?”


“Well…the band’s been doing really well.”

“That’s great….how does it relate to where we meet up?”

“The band is doing really well….here.”


“So I’m getting an apartment. I won’t be staying at a hotel anymore.”

“I see.”

“That means we won’t have a ‘neutral’ place to meet, as you put it.”

I didn’t really know what to say. Sean saw my mind going a mile a minute and tried to help by offering a suggestion.

“I mean….we could rent a room whenever we decide to meet up, I guess…”

“That’s such a waste of money for both of us though.”

“Maybe we should stop doing this.”

I looked at Sean.

“Do you want to?” I asked.

“Not really. Do you?”


“So what do we do?”

“Well, how long until you actually get an apartment?”

“We’ve got a gig out of town next week but after that we’re playing places here, mostly. Our manager is going to pay the hotel bills until a few days after we get back….so about a week.”

“Okay, so we have a week to think about a solution to our little issue, then.”

Sean smiled and suggested we make use of his hotel stays as much as possible and we ended up going to his hotel room. As soon as the door closed he had me up against the door. He unzipped my jeans and we got busy; it was super hot. Probably not as hot as our little adventure in a bar bathroom but pretty damn close. We didn’t get to a bed until the third round, after which I had to go.

“Call me later after you get back and we’ll meet up again, okay?”

“Sure…” I sensed that he had something else he wanted to say.



“No, really…what?”

“I just…I’m not really going to have a lot of time to actually find an apartment, but that’s not your problem.”

“Do you want me to help you? What do you need me to do?”

“This is breaking the rules, Faith.”

“I don’t care. We’re….friends…so let me help you out.”

“If I send you some places I find on the road and make appointments could you go and see them for me, tell me which ones are good and which ones are dumps?”

“I could do that. I could bring my camera with me and take videos and send them to you, too.”

“Are you sure you’re cool with this?”

“Yeah, no problem. I don’t have to be at work until two more weeks, so it’ll give me something to do. Stop worrying about it.”

“Thanks, you have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome.” I said.

I put my shirt on and Sean leaned over. When my head popped out over the collar he kissed me but it was different than how it normally feels when we kiss. He gently touched my face and when we stopped kissing he brushed my hair away.

“What was that?”

“A thank you.”

I got home and answered his usual text asking if I got home okay and went to bed.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Happy Day!

Good News! The vet told me that Murphy is making progress with his new medicines. Unfortunately, he’s not getting better as fast as they’d like so they’re going to have to keep him for a few days longer than previously thought. He’s even able to eat solid food (he wasn’t even able to do that when he was with me before, I had to mix up his medicines and a few vitamins the vet gave me into applesauce and feed it to him by letting him lick it off my finger)!

I called Zoey to tell her the good news and she was happy for me. I had been ignoring Sean’s calls ever since his last text message and felt like a jerk so I decided to try and see him tonight, after visiting Murphy.

“Hey, so I know I’ve been sketchy lately and I’m sorry. You know my cat was sick and I’ve been trying to deal with that and work, but things are going well with him now and I’m no longer booked.”

“I’m glad your cat is okay. What’s his name?”


“Cute.” He said, “I’m free tonight but I need to talk to you…like I actually have to have a real conversation with you.”

“Okay…is everything alright?”

“Yeah ….”

“Alright…well I’ll meet you at that burger place near your hotel around 8, okay?”

“It’s a date. Uh…a non-relationship kind of one.”

We hung up and I decided to do a bunch of chores that were pushed off by the events of the last few days and made a decent dent into the applications Veronica gave me. I have to go meet Sean in a few minutes so I have to go, but I can’t tell you how relieved I am about Murphy.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Regiment

Zoey picked me up first thing in the morning and drove me to the vet with a bag of stuff to help make Murphy comfortable. When we arrived I told Zoey to just drop me off, I wanted to stay there with him and didn’t want Zoey to feel bad for having to go to work. After thanking her for the ride I walked into the vet’s lobby and greeted the nurse on duty. It took some coaxing (and a few tears) to convince her to let me hang around but when I finally got to see him he seemed healthier. I put his bed into the kennel he was in and gently placed him on top of it, then I gave him a mouse made out of feathers and an old sock I'd made into a toy. He didn’t open his eyes or respond when I petted him but I felt like I was helping him in some way by making him comfortable.

“Hang in there little guy….” Just then he vet walked in.

“I was just about to call you,” he said, “I wanted to update you on Murphy’s progress. We were able to keep him stabilized overnight and I started him on a new steroid mixed with heavy antibiotics. There hasn’t been any indication that he’s getting better, but he’s not getting worse. We’ll need to observe him for at least another week before he can go home.”

“Do you think he’ll make it?”

“It’s hard to tell at this point. Let’s wait and see how he does with this new antibiotic regiment first.”

“Okay, I really appreciate your help and also for putting up with me. Is it okay if I stop by sporadically throughout the week to check on him?”

“Sure, I think it will help him, I’ll let the nurses know to just let you through.”


Murphy and I were left alone and I started brushing him with a little cat brush I had brought with me. After awhile his whiskers started twitching and he eventually opened his eyes. I wrapped him in the towel I had brought the night before and held him in my arms. His tail was sticking out of the towel and started moving when I started talking to him.

“I kind of like you, you know. If you make it through this I will buy you the most amazing kitty castle climbing tree a cat could possibly ever want and some cat nip balls, so you know you want to get through this to make me keep my promise.”

He started purring and I stroked his cheek until he fell asleep again. I placed him back on his little bed and quietly left the clinic to go home and sift through applications for work with a heavy heart.

I know I haven’t had him for very long but I will be devastated if he doesn’t start to get better soon. I’ve done everything I can to take care of him so not being able to control what happens despite my best efforts is starting to take a toll on me.

“Hey….how is he?” Zoey asked. She was on her lunch break and called me from work.

“They kept him stable through the night and are trying a more aggressive antibiotic-steroid medicine. He hasn’t made any progress in either direction. Basically it’s just a wait-and-see type of thing.”

“I’m sorry Faith. I know how badly you wanted him. If he doesn’t make it you can adopt another pet.”

“I know,” I said sighing sadly, “I just feel so bad for him. I mean his previous owner is the reason he’s in the hospital right now and I know I can give him a much better life than that. I just know he doesn’t deserve this which is why I’m so upset.”

Zoey tried to make me feel better but she had to go back to work eventually. To make myself feel better I decided to go shopping online for obscenely large kitty castles. I found one that you can even have customized with your cat’s name; it’s pretty crazy some of the things you can find on the internet for pets. I didn’t buy anything but looking at cat toys and beds did help me feel better.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I got home from seeing Sean last night and stepped in cat vomit. When I turned on the lights I saw that it had blood in it and ran into the living room looking for Murphy. He was laying underneath the coffee table surrounded by vomit. I scooped him up in an old towel and called Zoey in a blind panic.

“I need you to drive me somewhere right now.”

“Okay….is everything-“ Zoey sounded tired and thrown off guard but I was too panicked to think of politeness.

“I’ll explain when we’re in the car. I’m going to start walking towards Halston Street. Pick me up when you see me.” I hung up the phone and looked up the closest vet’s office with an emergency room (on Halston Street about 20 minutes away, 45 if I walked or took public transportation).

Zoey picked me up about ten minutes after I started walking and threw the passenger door open. She looked at the bundle in my arms and tears streaming down my face and punched the gas. No explanation necessary. She grabbed her cell phone and called the phone number of the emergency clinic I had written down to let them know we were coming.

We exploded into the emergency room and Zoey grabbed a clipboard of paperwork while I handed Murphy to a nurse and then subsequently broke down into a blubbering mess. Zoey asked me questions about Murphy’s health and turned in the clipboard. After about an hour, I finally calmed down and the doctor walked in to the lobby. He squatted in front of me and looked sympathetic.

“Murphy is very sick. We were able to stop him from vomiting but we don’t know why he’s bleeding or why his illnesses has regressed. I need you to sign some paperwork to let us keep him for awhile. He needs medical attention around the clock in order to get better and even then, I don’t really know if he will.”

I nodded and signed the paperwork.

“Do you think I could go in and see him?” I asked the nurse. She looked at Zoey gravely and nodded.

“I’ll take you back in a minute, let me go get him ready for you.”

We watched the nurse leave and I collapsed into Zoey’s arms like a crying child. My heart was absolutely broken. I knew there was a chance Murphy wouldn’t make it but he was getting better and I my hopes were high. When the nurse came back she walked us into a sterile room. Murphy was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor and lying on the towel I had wrapped him in. He looked so small. I reached my hand out and stroked his face; he started purring and looked at me with appreciative eyes. After a few minutes Zoey took my shoulders and guided me out of the back room. On the way back to my place we were silent.

“Do you think it would make him feel better if I brought him a toy?” I asked in a quiet voice.

“Maybe, you could try bringing him his bed, too. I’ll take you over there tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded and thanked her for the help as I left the car. When I entered my apartment I felt exponentially lonely. I put Murphy’s bed inside a pillow case that smelled like me (so he can remember me and hopefully be motivated to fight his illness) and picked out a few toys before cleaning up the piles of cat vomit around my apartment.

I took a shower and got into bed when my phone buzzed:

Sean: Did you get back to your apartment okay? You never sent me a text and I was worried.

I sighed and wrote a reply:

Yeah. I had to take my cat to the emergency room when I got back and just got home from there.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, to say the least.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The J-O-B

I met with Veronica my new boss today. She’s super cool and I can’t wait to start my new job next week. We met in her office and I was really nervous because I wanted to make a great first impression. Her office is GORGEOUS. It has a beautiful window with a beautiful view and a beautiful cherry wood desk and a beautiful gray office chair….okay….anyway I knocked on her door and after coming down from my immense feelings of office envy I was able to greet her like a professional. She was in a black fitted suit with white heels. Veronica has blonde ruffley hair and pretty brown eyes that she enhances with extremely subtle eye make-up which took me awhile to notice. The woman, she’s good at making it look like she’s not wearing anything, that’s a true artist. Veronica is not just the editor for the paper, she’s a very busy woman! She signs off on what the station chooses as stories every day, coaches the anchors, and keeps a hawk-like eye over the backstage goings-on. I honestly don’t know how she finds the time to do all of it but in any case, she’s a very direct person and cuts to the chase, which I really like. I know it can come off as intimidating but I just see it as a way to make time more efficient.

I sat down and took out a note pad.

“You wanna get out of here?”

I was caught off guard, “What?”

“Let’s go get brunch. There’s a place in the lobby that has the most amazing quiche you’ve ever had….unless you’re a vegetarian, you’re not a vegetarian, are you?”

“No,” I said giggling.

“Good, I like that, vegetarians are pretentious, you’ll see that when you meet Steve.”

“Uh….who’s Steve?” I asked as Veronica handed me a heavy bag.

“You’re assistant.” She said walking out of her office to the elevators.

“I have an assistant?” I followed her trying to make it look like I wasn’t struggling to move with the bag (it was THAT heavy).

Within a few minutes we were seated at one of the nicest restaurants I’ve ever been in. The tables were made in the bistro style with under-laid glass mosaics in flowery designs and the glasses were all crystal. Veronica nodded her head to the hostess and we were seated in a booth near the back. I slid in awkwardly with the bag she had given me and was handed a menu by one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen.

After looking over the menu, I started to panic.

“Honey, calm down, this is a business lunch. Don’t even bother looking at the prices, brunch is on the news station.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I already cleared it with the big guys, they’re the ones who suggested it.”

Relieved, I decided on a potato skillet with breakfast sausage, cheese, and buttered toast while Veronica ordered a mushroom, cheese, and ham quiche for both of us, an order of French toast with strawberries and coffee pot.

“So, in that bag are all of the writing applications we’ve received.”

I was confused. “When I interviewed they said the job wouldn’t be posted until you and I talked.”

“The job hasn’t been posted yet,” I gave Veronica an even more confused look, “This is the news business, Faith, people don’t need to see a job posting to hear about writing jobs for a newspaper. If everything works out we might not even need to post an advertisement.”

“How did all of these writers hear about it, then?”

“Different sources, some are staffed by the news station while others heard from word of mouth. This project is very exciting to people so it would make sense that there would be chatter about it.”

“Okay, do you want me to still post an advertisement?”

“No, let’s get through these first and if we’re still looking then post the advertisement.”

So my assignment for the week is to weed through hundreds of applications and writing samples which were in the bag Veronica handed me. I won’t be judging the writing samples, that’s Veronica’s role, but I will be skimming them for grammatical errors, spelling, and other mistakes that might make them ineligible for review. I also will be responsible for putting their applications into a database for future reference. We’re looking for about 20 people all together and I have more than 200 applications to look through.

After brunch we headed upstairs to talk about our working styles. After about an hour of getting to know each other I gathered my things to leave.

“I look forward to working with you, Faith, we found a real gem in you.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it very much.”

“I almost forgot, would you like to see your office?”


I followed Veronica around a square pit, “What’s the huge pit for?”

“That’s where all the writers will work, we’ll start having furniture delivered next week.”

On the opposite side of the pit Veronica lead me down a shallow hallway,

“This is where Steve will work, he’ll be like your personal secretary but he’s also trained to help you with HR related things you may need done.”

Across from the shallow alcove that Steve would inhabit was a glass wall and a frosted glass door. There was a conference room with a whiteboard at the back and a giant cherry wood table flanked by black office chairs in the center of the room. “This is one of two conference rooms, there’s going to be a few televisions installed in it as well as some other smart media that we’ll use to monitor other news stations, stories, or have meetings. The other one, across from my office, looks just like it.”
Veronica stopped at a dead end a few feet farther down the hallway, “And this is your office.”

She opened the door and the first thing I noticed was a huge window and glittery sunlight. I had a window at my old job but it looked out onto a brick tenement building and barely let in any sun. I could see the lake from my window and a pretty skyline of surrounding buildings. There wasn’t any furniture in my huge office, which I assumed would be delivered with the rest of it.

“So here’s a form for you to fill out, you can choose which furniture you want to order for your office, basically anything in this catalog,” she said handing me a furniture booklet, “you can order. Take that home with you tonight and bring it back when you have a chance. Do you want to go meet our station staff?”

I snapped out of my fantasy and nodded. I was a little sad to have to leave my office but followed her down to the station’s floor. They were shooting a few taped segments for the night news and I met several anchors, cameramen, and journalists. They all seem really nice and I’m looking forward to working with EVERYONE on this project.

“Okay, so if you could get the winning applications over to me by Friday next week, we can start doing interviews the week after that, so you don’t actually need to come in until we start interviews, other than to drop off those applications.”

We said our goodbyes and I waited for the elevator to close before I started dancing and clapping, I scored the ultimate treasure by getting this job!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Cat Naps

My girls came over today to celebrate Anna’s pregnancy and to gawk at my new addition. We made lunch that consisted of an amazing potato and meat casserole that Anna made, a batch of strawberry chocolate brownies, and a fruity drink (non-alcoholic) to toast Anna and Theo’s happiness. The drinks were actually really good, Elise made them from a recipe she found online. They were made from ginger ale, blackberry grenadine, cherry grenadine, and had lemon juice mixed in, I think we had about three pitchers each.

After awhile the four of us ended up sitting in my living room looking at the black and white ball of fluff currently lounging in a blue and green oval bed in silence.

“Have you picked a name yet?” Elise said eyeing it with ambivalence.

“I have one in mind but I’m not sure yet.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

Suddenly the ball stirred and all of us leaned forward. It stopped.

“Why isn’t it doing anything?” Zoey said raising an eyebrow.

“The vet said he would need a lot of rest with all of the medicines he had to be put on.” I said, “He told me that he should start being more active once he gets better.”

“How old is he?” Anna said crossing her legs in the armchair.


“How did you end up with him?” Elise said with disdain, she never was an animal person.

“I told you, I was looking at a few websites and came across a nearby animal shelter’s that listed him on it. They said he needed a good and loving home, so I filed the paperwork yesterday.”

“Why is he so sick?” Zoey said tilting her head.

“The vet thinks he’s been abused for most of his life, but his illness is because they found him in a bag near the river. He was hypothermic and really underweight. When they found him he was too thin to handle the medications so they had to give him steroids to make him grow faster while giving him the medications. They think he’s going to live but it’s still kind of hairy. I just have to monitor him really well.”

“Why did you adopt a cat that might not even live?” Anna asked.

“Because….I felt sorry for the little guy. The vet said he’d been abused since he was born; the least I could do was give him a good home free of abuse for the last few weeks of it. But regardless, they think he’s going to make it and I’m falling in love already.”

My apartment was dotted with feathery toys and other cat-like objects. I went on a shopping spree as soon as the shelter told me I could bring him home today. He has a comfy bed, which he was sleeping in and another bed that’s more like a hammock for cats and so many toys! I even bought him a blue and white cat dish with little stars on it. I have a feeling that we’re going to get along really well. He doesn’t do much right now but when I stroke him or touch him he starts purring and I swear I can see him smile. I hope he gets better soon; I’m trying to do my best to care for him.

I’ve decided to name him Murphy.

Friday, June 11, 2010

New News is Good News

“I’m thinking about getting a pet.” I said.
Anna looked at me with surprise as she handed me a cup of coffee.

“Okay, why exactly?”

“I feel lonely.”

“But you have me and Zoey and Elise.” Anna looked a little hurt.

“I know, but it would be nice to come home to something. I don’t want to be annoyingly needy to my friends by calling them multiple times a night because I’m bored or lonely. Then I won’t have any friends.”

“Faith, listen to yourself. You’re always there for us when we need you. It’s only fair that we be there when you need us, too. I’m sure my miscarriage wasn’t the most convenient for you but you came to the hospital and helped me when Theo left. Let us be there for you.”

“It’s not that I don’t think I can’t rely on you guys, I just want a pet to take care of. They’ll be happy to see me when I come home, I’ll have something to do, like take it for a walk or play with it when I’m bored. I feel like I’ll be more fulfilled if I have something else in my life. For the past few months all I’ve been doing is dealing with Kevin’s crap and working, I just want something for me.”

Theo walked into the dining room and greeted me.

“Do you ladies need anything?”

“Can you grab the lemon raspberry cookies and then join us?” Anna asked,

“So I’m glad you could come over, Faith. I know I haven’t been the best person to be friends with this year.”

“Anna, you’ve been perfectly fine. I’m just glad I could help you through it. How’s the counseling going?”

“I think it’s going really well. I feel like our marriage is stronger than ever and Theo and I haven’t been so…active …since we were newlyweds,” she said blushing.

“These cookies look and taste amazing,” Theo said setting them on the table and then sitting next to Anna.

They both smiled at me and I suddenly felt nervous.

Anna cleared her throat, “Faith, I-we kind of had an ulterior motive for inviting you over.”

“You mean you didn’t want to just bask in my amazing personality?” I asked trying to lighten the mood.

Anna and Theo giggled, “No, I guess not,” she said, “ We wanted to know if you would be a god mother for us, well, I mean for our baby.”


“Anna found out that she’s pregnant again a few days ago. She’s only a few weeks along and we don’t want to get any hopes up since we could lose it like the last one-“

“But we just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I think you’d make a great god parent to our baby or any future child we might have.” Anna said.

I was speechless with shock and happiness, “Of course! I’d love to!”

Anna jumped up from the table and gave me a hug. Theo left us alone after a few minutes (and after a giant hug from him too) and we started talking.

“We were so surprised, Faith. I thought it would take forever to get pregnant again, like before, but it just happened so fast. I’m going to tell Zoey and Elise tomorrow at work but Theo and I just couldn’t wait to ask you about the god parent thing.”

Anna was absolutely beaming, I’m so happy for her! I told her I couldn’t wait to plan a baby shower and eventually left after much celebrating.
In other news, I’m starting work soon with the news station paper and I have a meeting with the editor in a few days to talk about our work styles and begin the interviewing process.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Rules and Strings

I was able to pack up everything from my office before I left for my vacation so Sean and I decided to meet up later since I had nothing to do. He was in town doing a show so I went to go watch since the bar was close to his hotel. I stayed near the bar sipping a ginger ale and got a few smiles from Sean when he realized I was there. I couldn’t really help smiling back when he looked so pretty.

“Hey, I’m glad you came.” He said giving me a kiss, “Wouldn’t that be considered a string, though?” He lifted an eyebrow.

I grabbed his hand and we sat down at a booth, “I think we should have a more concrete conversation about what exactly we’re doing,” I said.


“Would you agree there has been awkwardness?”


“Okay, so I’m thinking that the awkwardness is coming from a place where neither of us really wants to admit that we’re using the other one for sex. Would you agree with that?”

Sean smiled at me and agreed.

“Alright, then let’s set some ground rules.”

“Like what…and why?”

“Because I think setting ground rules will help us control what we’re doing…and limit any emotional attachments that might develop.”


“First, I shouldn’t stay the night anymore. Staying the night is what couples do and we’re not a couple, plus the walk of shame in the morning is so much more shameful than one in the middle of the night where no one is around to see me,” I said laughing, “Second, no dinners, no movies, nothing date-like at all.”


“Third, you don’t come to my place, I go to you.”


“Because going to a hotel is neutral ground for both of us. If you come to my place it’ll be like having a boyfriend come over and since you’re not my boyfriend-“

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Fourth, we don’t meet each other’s friends. That means I don’t want to be introduced to your band mates and you don’t get introduced to my friends. I think those four rules should help with things.”

“So it’s just sex.”

“Just sex.”

“Then what are we still doing here?” Sean said grabbing my hand and heading toward he hotel laughing.

When we got to his room we ended up getting dirty in his shower and then ended up tangled in bed sheets about an hour later.

“I should go soon,” I said.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t want to break the rules,” he said moving my hair out of my face.

I smiled and rolled out of bed, which wasn’t the easiest feat considering how tangled up we were. Sean kissed me on the forehead as I left his room and said he’d call me later. Later was pretty soon because he sent me a text making sure I got home alright about an hour later.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Taking Flight

I got a text message from Sean this morning before my flight back home:

“Looking forward to seeing you some time, let me know when you’re in town and ready for…exercise?”

I smiled. I think it’s cute how awkward Sean and I are being about our whole situation, but I think I know a way to get over it. I sent him a reply text that scheduled a time we’d meet and continued packing. By the time I finished I had a few hours left and my parents decided to take me out to lunch. We had a nice evening and on the car ride back I was in a really good mood. I don’t think I’ve felt so rested on a vacation before. That sounds silly but I know I’m not the only one that had experienced a vacation that can be more stressful than work. Sometimes just planning a vacation can be stressful. The flight back was okay and I thankfully didn’t get stuck behind anyone in the expert traveler line.

My good mood didn’t last that long, though. When I arrived back at my apartment it felt empty and I felt incredibly lonely. I usually get really homesick after visiting my parents because they provide me with such a sense of security; emotional and financial, but this time it was like getting hit with a wave of it as soon as I walked in the door. As I unpacked my clothes in my empty apartment, I started to cry…then my phone rang. It was my mom.

“Hello?” I said trying not to sound like I was crying.

“Hey sweetie, I just wanted to see if you got home alright.”

“Yeah, I got home about 20 minutes ago, I was just unpacking.”

“Okay, well, is there anything you would like me to send you? I was about to go shopping and thought I’d ask you if you needed anything.” She was getting skeptical at the sound of my wavering and stuffed up voice.

“I don’t think so, I think I’m okay. You don’t need to get me anything.”

“Okay, well I’ll call you later then.” I could see her nodding and making an imaginary list of things to buy from the store and send to me.

Once I got off the phone I sniffled and took a few deep breaths. I finished packing and picked up my mail, which had two movies in it, so I decided to order a pizza and watch them. It was a pretty uneventful night until I found myself searching for an animal to adopt online. I think that might make me feel less alone in my apartment, or at the very least, I’ll have something to come home to everyday. I think I’m financially capable of owning a pet and I have plenty of room in my apartment for even the largest dog I could ever find, besides we always had pets when I was growing up and I think I can be responsible enough to take care of them the way they need me to. I bookmarked a few potential pets and went to bed full of pizza and hope.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Author's Note

Hello friends!

I hope everyone had a happy Memorial Day and is ready for summer! I've been trying to make my posts longer and post them with more frequency as many of you have requested so I just wanted to check in with my readers to see if there are any other suggestions for improvement to the blog. Are there any characters you'd like to see more of or hear more from, any types of situations you prefer to read about over others, that kind of stuff. Feel free to leave your answers in the comments and thanks for reading!

Home Sweet Home

My brother left today and to be completely honest, I feel extremely guilty from the large amount of relief that came over me. I feel awful but it’s nice to not have to tip-toe around him and his sudden angry outbursts. It makes me feel even worse when I consider that this could have been the last time to see him for months….or forever. I think I might be in denial about the fact that he’s gone. We don’t see each other very often so I think part of me is just believing he’s out living his life working like he was before the deployment because it’s easier for me to deal with.

Anyway, my parents weren’t in the mood to cook dinner so I offered to go and pick us up some food instead. We called in some calzones at a local pizza place and I went to go pick them up. When I walked in to the restaurant I was instantly reminded why I try to avoid coming home and frequenting the local businesses.

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! It’s Faith!” Torie, a girl I went to high school with, walked up to me with a cigarette in hand and a noticeably large baby belly (I had to do a double take and hide my shock).

“H-hey.” I said waving at several other former classmates nursing a pitcher of beer in front of a big screen television while their kids ran around the table throwing breadsticks. “How’s it going?”

Torie told me her life story while I waited for the food (they were in a rush and it was going to be about 20 minutes). After high school she got pregnant and married a guy sitting at the table. This was her fifth child (we graduated 6 years ago). She worked at a lingerie store a few blocks away and they were in the middle of her baby shower when I walked into the pizza place. He works as a car mechanic downtown and they live with her parents. When I was finally able to get our food and say goodbye I felt even worse.

Torie was in the top of our class, she got a full ride scholarship to a prestigious school and wanted to be a doctor. She also dated my brother when they were in high school. It annoyed me because she tried to be my friend in order to get close to him and once I realized what was going on he was taking her to prom and out on dates. They didn’t last long and she eventually ended up with her current husband. I think I felt so bad about seeing her because I’m one of the few kids who got out. I don’t come from a small town by any means. I grew up in the suburb of a fairly large city in the Midwest (sort of, we moved around all over, but I spent the most time there and my parents have always owned a home there) but I’m still one of the few people who graduated from school and went on to college out of state. I knew what I wanted when I was in high school and living here and getting married before I was even legally allowed to drink and start a family wasn’t really in my cards. Don’t get me wrong, I think I want to get married and have children but not at 17 (the age I graduated from high school) and not really now, either.

The reason I don’t like seeing people I went to high school with is because I always see so much lost potential in who they wanted to be. Most of them never went to college and don’t like their current jobs; most have already had children or been divorced and it’s hard to not feel lucky when I see what happened to people I used to look up to in high school. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt like my life was heading in a better direction than my former classmates and that makes me feel like an elitist, pretentious, bitch. I can see how happy they are, like Torie who was having such a blast and happy with her life, but it’s painful to know that she had bigger dreams for herself that were never fulfilled.

“Food’s here!” I said walking through the door. My dad was on the phone and my mom shushed me. “What’s going on?” I whispered.

“SHHHHHH.” I rolled my eyes and started setting the table. My dad got off the phone beaming.

“So what’s going on?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve been looking for a new job and I just got hired by a university I’ve been looking at for awhile.”

“He’s making a six-figure salary now.” My mom said, “He had to take a pay cut to work at that other university so your brother and you could go there for free….even though neither of you went there.” She said coldly.

“That’s awesome dad.” I said, “Let’s eat! I’ll go get ice cream later to celebrate.”

My dad isn’t a teacher, he’s more of a budget guy and I’m really happy that he’s been offered such a great job. He was recently looked over at his current place of employment for a promotion (that he seriously deserved) after they lead him on for six months after interviewing him. They gave it to someone who had only been working there for two years and didn’t have any qualifications for the job, instead. I’m glad my dad is getting out of there now, he really deserves it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


My brother has been acting weird. And by weird, I mean like a jerk. He’s been snapping at my mom a lot and I know exactly why. Before my brother went to boot camp he was this way. I know it’s how he’s dealing with his impending deployment and combat training in a few days but it’s really starting to grate on me. I think if he’s mad at all of us when he leaves he thinks it’ll be easier but it’ll just make things more difficult for us.

My mom’s birthday was this weekend and I decided to go buy her a gift. While I was on my way out the door I asked my brother if he wanted to come.

“Hey I was thinking of going to buy mom a gift, wanna come?” He looked at me, contemplated it, and decided he would come but he needed to take a shower first.

I wasn’t very happy about that because my mom was going to be home from work soon and I wanted the gift to be a surprise. After waiting for about 20 minutes we finally got on the road and eventually to the store. We decided to get my mom a computer game, a ball that lit up and made sounds (for her special needs students, they like the stimulation) and a GPS system.

“I don’t know if she’ll like that Justin. She doesn’t even know how to turn on the DVD player, do you really think she’s going to be able to figure out how to use this thing?” I said looking at one of the smaller GPS systems.

“She’ll be fine, and if she doesn’t like it we’ll just take it back.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

We returned home to find my mom’s car in the garage so I told my brother to stall her while I went down stairs and put her gifts in a gift bag and stuff.

“Faith’s downstairs wrapping your presents!” He yelled as soon as we walked into the house. I glared at him in anger and disbelief with a little bit of a “why-do-you-have-to-be-such-an-asshole” look as I trudged downstairs.

Part of the reason I wanted this to be a surprise is because Justin has a very poor track record of participating in family moments and I wanted to be sure he participated in my mom’s birthday. What I mean by that is, he usually forgets about us on holidays when people are usually spending time with their family members or celebrating things. He comes home for Thanksgiving and Christmas but he does so reluctantly and makes it seem like we’re the worst family to spend time with. He’s been like this since he was a teenager (he’s two years older than me so he’s in his mid twenties now and it’s getting pretty damn old) and it really takes a toll on our mother and family experiences. For example, this Mother’s Day my brother was in Virginia going through cultural training for his deployment and he accidentally left his phone charger at home so he “couldn’t call any of us” due to lack of battery. I found out through one of his friends, though, that he had called her (his friend) three times. He didn’t call my mom on Mother’s Day, though. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive but when I found this out it really broke my heart. I decided not to tell my mom because she would be devastated to know he’d call his friends rather than wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. I tried to bring it up with him but it spiraled into a fight about how all I do is make him feel bad. I think he just doesn’t like being called out on his shit because the truth of the matter is that I point out when he’s being a selfish asshole and that would make anyone feel bad. The conversation went something like this.

“Were you able to call mom on Mother’s Day?”

“Nope. My phone was dead.”

“Your phone was dead but you were able to call Shannon twice before and once after Mother’s Day? That’s nice.”

“They were only like three-minute conversations.”

“I bet mom would have liked one of those on Mother’s Day.”

“Shut up, Faith, what do you want me to say? I’m a terrible son I guess because I’m going away to war and trying to do what’s right.”

“You don’t get to guilt me for a choice you made. If it were up to me you wouldn’t be going to war so don’t try and use that crap on me. And going away to war has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that you would rather call your friends over your own mother on MOTHER’S DAY.” At that point I had to leave the room and we didn’t talk for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I brushed off the fact that he ruined the surprise gifts and proudly gave them to my mom. She was nervous but excited about the GPS and when it came time to use it my brother ended up storming out of the room and shutting himself up in the basement for the rest of the night complaining to his friends about how horrible we all were while my dad and I tried to convince her to get in the car and try it out. Justin was pissed and honestly I don’t know why he got so angry so quickly over nothing.
To make a long story short, my mom likes her new GPS, it just took me about three hours and a saint’s amount of patience to teach her how to use it and my brother is still acting like a child. He’s leaving for combat training in a few days and that will most likely be the last time I see him until he comes back from Afghanistan so hopefully he stops being such a jerk about everything long enough to say good-bye to the three of us.

I’m sorry it sounds like all I’ve been doing has been ranting and complaining about being home but I was able to get a lot more sleep the past few days (no paper shredding! Yay!) so I think I’m out of the complaining funk for now.