Sunday, March 28, 2010

Power Lunch

I sat down in my office after eating lunch and Kevin walked in behind me. He closed the door and sat down across from my desk.

“I have to work…..” I said, trying to avoid a fight at work.
“You’re still on lunch, I have 20 minutes.” He reached across the desk and handed me five brochures.

“What’s this?” I said looking at the vibrant pictures on the covers.

“It’s the bed and breakfasts I found. I thought I’d give you the top five and let you choose based on which one had the best activities in the area.”

I was speechless; the last thing I expected Kevin to bring up was the trip we talked about before our fight, I wasn't even sure if we were still going. I gave him a nod and tried to think of something to say.

“I’m not trying to brush anything off,” he said, picking up on my silence, “we can grab dinner tonight and talk about…stuff.”

There was an awkward silence that sat between us. Both of us probably felt like we should acknowledge the elephant in the room but Kevin knew that I would be very angry if he brought up our relationship at work. No one but Dina and Suzy know and they’ve both been sworn to secrecy. Kevin and I barely see each other at work anyway since things have picked up with the recent political climate going on, there’s been a ton of deadlines for our staff and Kevin oversees all of it, so he’s been working non-stop during the day. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really want to be around Kevin right now, either. I’m still struggling with what Zoey and I talked about and it seems the more I think about it, the more I realize how little I trust Kevin and I don’t know how to fix that. Dinner should be interesting.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Ho Hum

“He asked me to go on a trip with him…”

“That’s great,” Zoey said through the phone.

“No it’s not, cause we probably aren’t going now, we got into a HUGE fight.”

“Why would you guys end up fighting about going on a trip, I thought you were happy about the trip.”

“No, we got into a fight over the DUMBEST thing ever. Remember how I got those flowers after Valentine’s Day and thought they were from Kevin? Yeah he says he didn’t send them to me and now I’m just confused.”

“Well, you’re right about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That IS the dumbest fight I’ve ever heard of.”


“Well, there’s also another thing…” She trailed off and I could sense some wariness in her voice.

“Yeah, go on.”

“You’re usually not one to fight about that kind of crap. I mean if you were Elise, I’d probably sympathize with you for getting into a fight over flowers, but you don’t normally get hung up on little things like that in a relationship.”

I thought about what Zoey was saying and realized that she was right. And what was more disheartening was that I couldn’t figure out why I was acting like this with Kevin. We tried to figure out what it was about Kevin that might make me pick fights like this and Zoey posed a really big question to me.

“Well….do you still have reservations about trusting him? It was a big issue for you when you guys started dating and now that you’ve been together for three months it might be something you want to revisit. Maybe you're focusing on little details like this because you're subconsciously suspicious of him.”

We talked for a little while longer but then Zoey had to go and for the rest of the day I found it really difficult to focus on my work. I think part of my distraction was from trying to figure out who could have sent the flowers to me (yes, I’m still hung up on that) and then another reason was because I wasn’t sure if I do trust Kevin completely. Zoey is probably right, I don't trust Kevin so my suspicions come out in little things, like the fact that I’ve never been to his apartment, or that he doesn’t really talk about his friends, it’s weird to realize this after so long.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Pack Your Bags?

Kevin and I had our date tonight and it didn’t go as I had planned, we ended up fighting. Dinner was actually really nice, we talked about work and then Kevin brought up something I didn’t expect.

“Faith, I think we should go on a trip together.”

I was so shocked I started choking on my food and Kevin patted my back until I could breathe again.

“I take it that’s a ‘no’, then?” He asked timidly.

“Not at all, I was just surprised, that’s all. A trip sounds like fun and the weather is getting nicer, too.” I started entertaining the idea of the two of us on the beach somewhere, “What kind of trip were you thinking?”

“Probably just a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast or something.”

“That sounds like a great idea. I’d love to take a trip like that with you.”

We discussed when the best time for us to go would be and decided on a weekend in March, he was going to find a bed and breakfast and I would research the activities around the area we could do when we got there. Then Kevin paid the check and we left to go to my place. I got out of the car while he went to go park and when I went to answer the door for him…

“What’s this?” I asked, confused.

“They’re flowers.”

“I can see that, but why? You already gave me flowers this week….”

Kevin gave me a really confused look, “I thought you were kidding about that. I thought that was a hint for me to buy you some…”

“Kevin you don’t have to keep pretending about the other flowers…” I turned and pointed to the vase sitting on my table.

“I didn’t give you those, Faith.”

I started getting frustrated, “Really? Then who did?”

“I have no idea!”

We ended up fighting about the flowers, which was the dumbest fight I’ve ever been involved in. Kevin decided to leave when things got too heated, he kissed my forehead before he walked out and I just kind of ended up sitting on the couch extremely angry and confused. If Kevin really didn’t send me the flowers, who did and why wouldn’t they have included a card? I assumed Kevin would send me flowers without a card because I’d know they were from him, but now I’m just confused.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Boy and Girl Talk

I called Elise today because it’s been awhile since we’d had a nice girl talk session. She’s been super busy with photo shoots lately and stopped seeing Redford, the male model who hit on her a few months ago. He’s not from the city and they decided a long-distance relationship wasn’t what either of them wanted.

“I’m really okay with it. I’ve already had the rebound…” She said.

“Oh…but didn’t you just break up like three days ago?” I asked a little more surprised than I had intended.

“Um…well…the rebound kind of happened before that. Redford and I just weren’t making it work. I mean we haven’t seen each other since December. We weren’t together for a long time before we broke up, Faith.”

I told her I understood and then scheduled a movie date with her for later in the week but I had a call waiting and had to go. We said goodbye and I switched over to the other call.


“What are you doing hot stuff?” I smiled at Kevin’s lame dirty talk.

“Hot stuff? What are you a talking Valentine heart candy?” He laughed, “speaking of Valentine’s day, thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.”

There was a pause, “What flowers?”

I laughed and rolled my eyes, “The flowers you sent to my office on Monday.”

“I didn’t send you any flowers.”

“Okay,” I said playing along, “well, I loved them, daisies are my favorite and to make sure you really feel appreciated, I got you a little present for Friday.”

We flirted over the phone for awhile before saying goodbye and then I went to take a bubble bath when I heard the sound of a hammer coming from the apartment next to mine. The apartment had been vacant for a few months from a small family that moved out and had finally had a new resident. I made a note to stop by and introduce myself to them sometime next week to let them get settled.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Zoey and I ended up ordering a pizza for Valentine’s Day and watching the Jurassic Park trilogy. I told her about my last date with Kevin and she congratulated me.

“Took you long enough.” She said giggling and reaching across for more pizza.

“I know, but I think with all my reservations about Kevin, I really needed to wait, you know?”

“Yeah, I hear ya. Speaking of dates, I have one next week with a guy I met on in my apartment building.”

“You’re dating a neighbor?”

“No he was working on the power lines that connect to my building, they had to be replaced and he was making the rounds in the building to double-check that everyone’s power was on when he knocked on my door I practically swooned. He’s dreamy Fatih.”

“That’s cute, Zoey has a crush!”

I went to work the next day and had a bouquet of daisies delivered for Valentine’s Day. There wasn’t a card, but I knew they were from Kevin because he’d been so nervous about not celebrating Valentine’s Day and was trying to cover all of his bases, I guess. He was busy with a ton of meetings so I never got to thank him for them. We have a date later this week so I’m sure I’ll think of some way to thank him. With that thought in my head I stopped at a lingerie store on my way home and picked something up just for Kevin.

When I got home and put my flowers in a vase I decided call up Anna and see if she wanted to grab dinner, she sounded relieved to get out of the house and we met about an hour later at burger joint near her house.

“How are you doing, for real, Anna?” I asked as I put my tray down on the plastic table. She looked exhausted and had lost weight since the miscarriage. She looked at me with complete sadness in her eyes and began sobbing. We started getting looks from surprised diners around us and I was pulling napkins out of a dispenser as fast as I could when she started to recompose herself.

“I’m doing okay,” I looked at her with an absurd expression and waited for her to continue, “No really, the miscarriage…it was hard and I’m working through it…it’s just…it’s Theo….he hasn’t….he’s…” She gave up and I reached to touch her hand. She looked down for awhile and wiped her eyes with a napkin. “I think he blames me for it. We’ve been arguing a lot and I don’t know how to connect with him again, he hasn’t wanted to have sex since it happened and I don’t really think I want to yet either, but I feel like there’s this coldness between us that’s getting worse and not better with the grief courses he signed us up for.”

“Have you talked to the counselor about it?” I asked gently.

She shook her head, “No, I don’t feel comfortable bringing that up in front of him with someone we don’t even know.”

“Isn’t that what the counselor is there for, though?”

“I feel like they’re really just supposed to help us through the miscarriage and I feel like the problems I’m talking about should be discussed with…with a…”

“…a marriage counselor.” I saw the devastation in Anna’s face and I knew exactly why she felt that way. Anna has always prided herself on her marriage to Theo and truthfully, they have one of the strongest relationships I’ve ever observed, so the fact that she was admitting to needing to see a marriage counselor was really difficult for her and it was written all over her demeanor.

I tried to comfort Anna, “Seeing a marriage counselor doesn’t mean that your marriage has failed, Anna, it just means you need to work through some things like everybody does.”

She nodded and then changed the subject to work; eventually we finished eating and said our goodbyes. It broke my heart to say goodbye to Anna knowing how difficult things have been for her.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

On the Up

Kelly has been doing a great job at the office and I can finally rest easy about that. I know there’s a possibility down the road that we might lose her, though. Kelly is an actress and just moved to the city so she isn’t making enough from acting to pay her bills which is why she works as a temp (now my full time receptionist) but eventually she probably will be able to make a living off of just acting and we’ll lose her. I knew this before I hired her but I feel okay about it.

Kevin and I went on a date last night and it turned out really well. We went to this charity event the paper was putting on for the Earthquake in Haiti and then went to get some real food since all they had were teensy crackers with spreads on them and sparkling water. We ended up going to a steakhouse and after ordering Kevin looked really nervous.

“Are you okay? You look like you have to pee or something.” I said trying to lighten the mood.

He nodded but then shook his head and blurted out what had been bothering him, “Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to do anything special for Sunday (Valentine’s Day)?!”

I laughed, “Calm down, we don’t need to do anything for that, I told you, I mean what I say, I’m not testing you. It’s okay, besides I’ll probably make plans with Zoey or something.”

He was visibly relieved and I realized that Kevin was probably carrying more baggage from his relationship with Hannah than I had thought. I took his hand and smiled. We sat in a comfortable silence until our food came and then couldn’t stop raving about how good everything tasted, because honestly, it was AMAZING!

After dinner we took a walk and Kevin eventually drove me home, I invited him up for coffee but we got a little, ahem, distracted from the coffee. Kevin kissed me almost immediately after I closed the door. He pushed me up against the door and I went to unzip his pants with one swift motion. He started unzipping my dress while I clumsily tried to walk to my bedroom with him still kissing me. He eventually moved to my neck and by the time we reached my room both of us were practically naked. He had me sit on the side of my bed and started kissing my thighs in a northward direction. After a few minutes I decided to return the favor. He stopped me before things got too far and I straddled him. Things went pretty quickly from there and we fell asleep snuggling together. I’m kind of relieved to know that the sex with him wasn’t a complete disappointment. I feel like I had this built up idea about it while pining for him and it lived up to expectations.

(**Author's note: I just realized that I've been really inconsistent with Kevin's Fiance's name. For the Record: Her name is Hannah, not Holly. I'll try to be more aware of typos in the future.)