Sean Talk

“I’ve been thinking about our situation.” I said.

My hand was resting on Sean’s chest, his arm wrapped around me. We had just finished celebrating Sean signing the lease for his new apartment and spending the last free night at a hotel together.

“Did you come up with anything?”

“Well, it’s not ideal, but I think we could pull it off.”

“Go on.”

“What if we just alternated whose place we meet up at?”

“That doesn’t really provide the ‘neutral ground’ you had laid out in the rules.”

“I know, but it’s the only thing I can come up with.”

“Really? Because I have a different idea.”

“What’s that?” I asked rolling on to my stomach to look at Sean.

“Faith,” he said moving my hair away from my face, “We have fun together, right?”

“Yeah, the sex is amazing.”

“I definitely enjoy the no-strings-attached sex, too, but I can’t do this anymore.”

“Are you trying to call this off?”

“No.” Sean sat up, “I’m saying that I want to be able to do other things with you. The sex is…amazing but I’m at the point where I want to date you more than I want to have sex with you.”

“That’s not really the deal we made when we started this thing, Sean.” The mood had definitely been shot and I started putting my clothes on.

“I know,” he sighed then he started laughing.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that usually the woman is the one that wants the relationship and the man that doesn’t.”

“Where’s my underwear?” I said trying to get out of the room as fast as possible.

“Faith,” Sean said handing me my underwear and jeans, “We need to talk about this.”

“No we don’t. I’m gonna go. I’ll let you cool off for a few days and then we can restart this thing. WHERE IS MY SHIRT!?”

“You’re holding it.” I looked at the wad of fabric in my hand and turned bright red. While Sean stood up and put on a pair of boxers, I awkwardly tried to put my head through the sleeve of my shirt. When I finally got my shirt on Sean was standing in front of me. He took my shoulders and sat me down in a chair. He sat across from me on the bed and leaned forward.

“I know I’m not alone in how I feel, Faith.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This is something you want too, you’re just afraid of getting hurt again.”

“Sean I don’t want a relationship with you.”

“You might not want it to have that label but you’ve been having a relationship with me for weeks.” I stared at Sean hard, “You send me pictures of yourself in lingerie, you send me dirty text messages, you offered to help me find an apartment for crying out loud!” He was yelling now.

“You asked me to help you with that!” I yelled back.

“You didn’t have to say yes!”

I was at a loss for words and said the next thing that came to my mind, “I need my shoes.”

“What did this guy do to you?”

“Nothing….it….it wasn’t like that.” Sean looked into my eyes with a questioning look, “He was engaged.” I said quietly. Then I started crying.

I stood up to leave, shoes or not, and started walking to the door. Sean caught me and held me in an embrace while I sobbed onto his chest. I explained the whole Kevin saga between sobs and eventually fell asleep with Sean next to me. In the morning I felt embarrassed beyond belief and apologized for my behavior.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Now, can I pick you up at 7 tomorrow night or would you rather meet me somewhere instead?” He smiled at me and cocked his head.

I gave him my home address and told him I’d call him tomorrow. He walked me to the door and then gave me another kiss that was soft and gentle. I got chills; we stood in the doorway kissing for awhile before I absolutely had to leave.

When we broke away Sean smiled and asked, “What was that?”

“A thank you.”