Time Out

It’s been a while since I wrote last.

Hard Day's Night

They were all staring at me and I felt the walls close in. If there had been walls, that is. Everywhere I looked someone was watching, waiting. The longer it went on the worse it got. I looked down and saw Mike. He was bleeding and I was holding a bloody knife.

Happy Fucking Holidays

Mike and I trudged up the snowy stoop to Maggie’s house. I was carrying several gifts for Grant and Annabelle and had gifts for Claire, Sarah, Maggie, and Jamie in a bag slung over my shoulder. Mike was holding a dish of my stuffed mushrooms and a couple bottles of wine.

I chose my outfit very carefully for the night. It was a black dress with long black sleeves and a conservative neckline. It went to just above my knee and I was wearing thick black tights and black shoes. Mike had commented that I looked like I was going to a funeral so I threw on some Christmas ball ornament earrings, put a gift bow in my hair, and changed my shoes out for some shiny red pumps that matched the earrings and bow.

Maggie greeted us at the door.

Tucker to the Max

We had a belated party for the opening of Tucker’s show tonight and I knew we’d regret hiring him. The show was given a shorter run than the other ones we’ve got planned because of the debacle we’d had at the beginning that led to Tucker being hired in the first place. So, once the show closes (in three weeks) I will have a nice month-long vacation from running shows during the night and will only have to run rehearsals during the day. Sweet! But…back to what happened at the party…

Timing

Since the Amber Incident, I haven’t really gone out to do anything fun. I haven’t wanted to. The Halloween party Zoey had invited Molly and me to before everything happened wasn’t something I felt like going to in the aftermath. So I surprised myself when I accepted an invitation for a New Year’s Eve party from Steve.

Friends Will Be Friends

I got to the restaurant early and sat at a table for Suzy, Dina, Steve, and I. I was nervous about how things would go between the four of us but I reminded myself that the fact that the three of them agreed to meet me was a positive sign that we might be able to rekindle our friendship.

Grim

Veronica called everyone into an all-staff meeting to announce the closing of the paper. I don’t think anyone was prepared. It’s such an unexpected time to lay people off; right in between Christmas and New Year’s. The shock on everyone’s faces was heartbreaking. After Veronica made the announcement and answered some basic questions, she gave the floor to me where I spoke about the severance packages and the option to cancel any contracts an employee might have with the news station. I avoided eye contact with my friends when I mentioned that everyone would be pulled into a meeting with me by the end of next week to go over their severance packages and options. I started with Stormy.

As soon as the door closed, he started yelling.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this!”

“Stormy, you know I couldn’t. I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell everyone but it was all confidential.”

“How long have you known about this?”

“That’s…complicated.” I said.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Faith?”

“I’ve known for awhile. I’ve known it was a possibility for even longer than that. But I can’t talk about it, Stormy. It’s all confidential.”

“Are you telling me that the paper has been teetering on the brink of shutting down forever? Is this why the paper was moved to all digital?”

I didn’t say anything. Stormy tiredly fell into a chair across from my desk and looked into the distance, deep in thought.

“Your severance package is very generous.” I said pulling out the file I had made for him months ago, “You’ll be allowed to cancel your contract with the station if you want to.”

Stormy flipped through the file, put it under his arm, and left without a word. I sighed. Not only did I have a meeting with Stormy, but I had them with Steve, Tom, Dina, and Suzy, among others. There were tears, there was yelling and anger; there was confusion, shock, and real pain on people’s faces. My friends looked at me like I had betrayed them. Dina gave me a hug, though.

She told me that she knew I was in an uncomfortable position and that she couldn’t hold it against me. I appreciated her words a lot and I think they got me through the rest of the day. When I came home from work, Stormy wasn’t there. He didn’t show up until really late and I’m pretty sure he’d been out drinking on account of the fact that my apartment smelled like a distillery almost as soon as he walked through the door. I thought it was best to give him his space and let him sleep it off. He’ll talk to me when he’s processed everything.

Humpty Dumpty

Christmas with the family was a good one. It was great to have my brother home, finally. I got back last night and I’m not looking forward to tomorrow since it’ll be the day Veronica announces that we are shutting down. She’ll make the announcement and then everyone will be given a long weekend because of the holiday to recover from the news. Hopefully, Suzy, Dina, and Steve won’t chase me down with pitchforks when they find out. I still haven’t told my parents about my job situation and I have been applying to jobs frantically. Most of them I don’t even have an interest in but I’m in panic mode and I’m applying to any and all jobs that I think I’m qualified for and have a realistic chance of getting. I’m not even sure I want to work in HR anymore. I’ve been looking at jobs outside of HR and feel so out of my element and lost.

Stormy is going to resume his search for an apartment once the holidays are over because so many people are out of town and aren’t available to show apartments. He paid half the rent for this month, which was unexpected but appreciated. I actually kind of like having a roommate. Things don’t seem as lonely with him around, even if he is sleeping on my couch. He’s pretty much the only friend I have right now, besides Murphy, and I think Murphy likes him more than me but that might be because Stormy sneaks him kitty treats a lot.

I’m still being iced out by my friends. I tried calling all of them to wish them a Merry Christmas and no one answered. I wonder if I’m even considered Weatherly’s god mother anymore…I also noticed that Zoey removed me as a Facebook friend. Ouch. I think she’s being overdramatic. What I do with Sean is really none of her business which is why I didn’t tell her or Anna or Molly about it.

I’m trying hard to stay on top of things. It would be really easy to fall apart right now just from the stress of knowing I’m going to be laid off, let alone having all of my friends desert me, feeling so lost with feelings about my career, and stuck in limbo with Sean. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. When did my life become such a huge mess? I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t a giant mess, actually. I’ve been balancing a lot of crap for a long time. Hm. Maybe I should try to get things back on track as a New Year’s Resolution. I think I know the first thing to toss out with the trash, too.

Bombs Away

Veronica pulled me into her office today after lunch.

“Faith, I’m not sure how to say this so I’m going to get right to the point: The paper is being shut down. The investors aren’t impressed with the move to digital and we can’t sustain the paper with our current subscriber base, even if it grows by 100% in the next month. Everyone who doesn’t work in tandem with the news station is going to lose their jobs. I need you to start making severance packages. We’re going to announce the two week notice at the end of December.”

I felt like a bomb had gone off. I would be losing my job, too. Steve, Suzy, Dina…all of us will be unemployed and looking for work during the worst possible time.

“Veronica, you need to tell everyone now. People need to start looking for work as soon as possible.”

“I’m not going to be responsible for ruining everyone’s holidays, Faith. Make sure their severance packages are generous. Here’s the budget we have for those,” she said handing me a budget breakdown, “I’m sorry, Faith.”

I left Veronica’s office in shock. I still don’t know what I’m going to do. I spent the rest of the day reviewing the severance packages I had made when she first told me this was a possibility and I added more to them. People who work with the news station will be receiving less but I think that’s just fair since they’ll still have a paycheck coming in; they’ll also be able to choose whether or not they want to be released from their contracts with the news station to seek out better work.

I feel like a traitor walking around the office pretending like everything is okay, looking at all of my co-workers and friends who are about to be out of a job…I asked Veronica if I could work from home on Monday. She said yes. I think she’s worried I’m going to tell people before she officially announces it. I don’t plan to, though. I don’t want to be the bearer of news like that. Living with Stormy and not telling him is going to be hard but I think it will be okay.

I’ve already started looking for more jobs. I applied to two but I don’t think I want to be in HR anymore. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, actually. It’s not fulfilling for me anymore, especially when things like massive layoffs happen. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to tell my parents without freaking them out.

Instinct Games

I had lunch with Dina, Suzy, and Steve today at work and told them about my situation with Sean.
“I’m glad you told us, Faith,” Dina said touching my hand, “We were kind of worried. You’ve seemed so down but none of us wanted to ask.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been squashing all of the office gossip about why you were down.” Suzy said stabbing her salad with her fork.
“Um. Thanks.” I said looking down at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Do you know what you’re going to do?” Steve asked.
“No. I’ve been trying to figure it out but I’m really torn about it. I have no idea.”
“Have you guys been talking at all?” Dina asked.
“We’ve been keeping in touch; I’ve been updating him about the fact that I haven’t made a decision yet.” I joked weakly.
“You know I was cheated on once by a guy,” Steve said dipping a pita chip into some vegan humus, “we did get back together afterward but it didn’t last.”
“Oh.”
“Not because of the cheating, Faith, I just got tired of him, honestly. I was able to get past the cheating, actually.”
“Oh.” I said a little more cheerily.
“You know, you should just make a list of pros and cons and use that to decide for you.” Dina said.
“Or flip a coin.” Suzy said.
I changed the subject and finished my lunch listening to the others talk. When the lunch hour was over I checked in with Todd and Tanya on their progress before going back to my office. I struggled to get my work done until I gave in to making a pros and cons list since it had been suggested to me twice now. I kept adding to it in between answering e-mails, phone calls, and filling out paperwork and realized it was getting late. I had some time-sensitive paperwork regarding Tanya and Todd’s payment schedule to finish (it’s not on the same schedule the other staff has because of the uniqueness of their positions and commissions for work) so I ended up staying late. When I finally finished, I stretched in my chair, grabbed my bag, and headed toward the elevator to go home.
I noticed a light on as I came closer to the elevator. Stormy was still at work. I waved at him when I reached the end of the hallway.
“You’re still here?” I asked, “I thought we just made your job easier. You should go home.”
“I took on an extra story.” He said.
“Come on, we can share the elevator.” I said nodding my head toward it.
Stormy thought about it and then shut down his computer. I made small talk while he put his stuff away.
“How’s Rose?” I asked.
“She’s fine. Her roommate is moving out so she’s looking for a new one and is stressed out about it, but it’s not a huge deal. I’m sure she’ll find someone. How’s your fiancé?” He asked.
I silently kicked myself for asking about Rose.
“Um, we’re not engaged anymore. We’re kind of on a break right now.” I mumbled.
Stormy stood up and we started walking towards the elevator. He stopped me before we got there though.
“Faith, I’m really sorry for my behavior after our meeting with Veronica. It was inappropriate and if that’s why he’s-”
“It’s not.” I said before he got farther into it.
“So you guys aren’t together anymore?”
“I’m reassessing our relationship.” I said moving towards the elevator again.
“Oh.” He said.
We both went to push the button on the elevator and our hands touched. Stormy looked at me and our eyes locked. We got closer to each other very slowly, he dropped the briefcase he was holding and held my face in both of his hands, mine were on his chest. Right before our lips touched I realized what I was doing and gently touched his hands and bowed my head.
“Stormy, I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He lowered his hands and we broke apart like opposing magnets.
“No, I’m sorry that was-”
“It’s just that things are really complicated with my boyfriend right now and you’re with Rose. I just don’t need to make things even more difficult.”
“I understand, and like you said, I’m with Rose. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
We kept talking and rambling over each other all the way down on the elevator. It wasn’t until I got out to the lobby and Stormy left in the opposite direction that I realized I’d made my choice about what to do with Sean. I chose Sean in a situation where I wasn’t obligated to. I went with my gut. I sent him a text:
“I’m in.”

The Countdown Begins!

Sean is going to have conference calls with Dr. Deerhorn three times a week. He started them a few days ago and he is SO much happier. It’s honestly like night and day, guys. I think his tour mates are also a little thankful, too. I know I would be if I were in their shoes. I’ve been super busy, lately. I had to take Murphy to the vet for his annual check-up amidst one of my busiest weeks at work. I’ve finished all of my “just in case” severance packages for all our employees and our very first employee reviews were due this week. We asked all the writers to turn in evaluations of their peers and Veronica’s assistants were required to turn in their overall performance evaluations of everyone since Veronica is waaaay too busy to do them herself (she doesn’t work as closely with the staff anyway so it’s not that big of a deal).

Veronica was able to get the investors on board with the digital reboot of the paper but they are too skeptical to want it to expand to the station so the paper is going to be the guinea pig and if it does well, they’ll consider boosting the digital reboot to the station, as well. We were given extra funds to hire two web developers/designers to get it started so amongst employee evaluations, severance package overviews, and a trip to the vet, I’ve been conducting interviews. I think I’ve found the two I want to hire but I have three more people coming in soon and one of them seems very promising. Steve is the only person besides Veronica who knows that we’re doing a digital launch of the paper but he doesn’t know the reason why, which I think is a good thing considering that he has the tendency to gossip and a mass firing of everyone would definitely spread like wild fire.

Zoey and Wesley went to Hawaii for a vacation. They get back tomorrow and Zoey has been sending me pictures of all the things they’ve been doing. They went scuba diving and surfing their first day there and then lazed about the second day. The third day they went hiking up to a volcano and took some seriously stunning photos of the view from the top. I don’t know what they’ve done today but I kind of miss her. I’m glad that she’s having such a fun vacation but I really do miss her. Meanwhile, Molly has gone on several dates with Calvin and I think they’re going to be exclusive soon. They haven’t had the talk, yet, but Molly seems hopeful. She also recently went on a slew of auditions and landed a great part in a small show. I can’t wait to be there opening night with flowers. I’m so happy for her.

Anna is doing well with the twins. She occasionally sends me updates on them and how much they are growing. I sent her a birthday card for her 25^th birthday with a gift certificate in it to her favorite restaurant and a silly little coupon for a free round of babysitting from me so she can actually use said gift certificate since the restaurant is pretty nice and not baby or kid-friendly.

I’m counting down until I can surprise Sean, especially since he’s been so much happier. I’m glad I didn’t cancel my trip because after this busy, busy week, I’m going to want that mini-vacation more than anything!

Deja Vu

When I got into work this morning I had an e-mail from Karen with prospective dates for a visit and an offer to have someone pick me up at the airport. I immediately booked a hotel in the area Sean’s band would be playing in for mid-to-late June and sent her back a thank you message with the details of my itinerary. Sean called me right when I hit send.

“Hey.” I said.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Eh, nothing, it’s kind of been a slow day at work. I’ve been planning for that really important meeting I told you about. It’s coming up pretty soon.”

“Oh yeah? What-”

Just then Steve came in.

“You wanted these.” He said while handing me some files I’d requested on possible summer intern candidates.

“I did, thank you very much. Could you also pull another copy of Stormy’s contract for me? I want o familiarize myself with the terms.” I said covering my cell phone’s mouthpiece.

“Sure thing.” He said as he closed my door.

“Who was that?” Sean asked angrily.

“Uh. Steve.”

“You’re not at work, are you?”

“What? Yes I am. Where else would I be right now? Are you…are you seriously accusing me of being out with another guy, AGAIN!?” I asked exasperated.

“Who is Steve, Faith?” Sean asked coldly.

“He is my very gay assistant, who is in a committed relationship with a man named Tom. Would you like me to have them both come in here and tell you themselves or can you trust me enough to take my word for it?” I said acidly.

Sean sighed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said.

“I don’t deserve this, Sean. I’m your fiancée and these kinds of interrogations aren’t warranted at all. If you accuse me of this one more time without any foundation I will end our engagement without hesitation. How can you expect me to marry you when you don’t even trust me to be around my gay assistant while you aren’t around?”

“You’re right. I’m being so, so stupid. I don’t know what my problem is. I know this sounds really dumb but when you freaked out over the Guy situation I think it made me wonder if you were cheating on me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you were so upset by it! I didn’t know how to interpret it and then you just dropped it and I panicked.”

“I was upset because I’ve been in Guy’s girlfriend’s position before, Sean! I know how it feels! I told you all of this.”

“I know…look I was stupid. Can we just forget about it?”

I sighed.

“Fine. I guess.” I said trying to move on.

Sean told me about the last few shows the band played and about the new computer he bought (I’m picking it up next week and I’ll bring it with me when I visit him in June) before we said good bye. I really hope going to visit him makes him relax for a little bit because this whole insecurity/anger thing is really getting on my nerves and I think I've been very understanding considering what I've been accused of lately.

Avoidance

Sean sent me a video he took from the stage during one of their tour performances and I was shocked at how big the crowd was. I think Sean has been downplaying how successful the band has been getting because he’s worried or something. There was a small article about his band in the paper the other day that was really nice. The writer said they thought Sean’s band would be at the top of the charts by next year. It’s sort of surreal to think about that but with the video he sent me, I can definitely believe it. The things is….I’m not sure that Sean even wants that. We’re doing well but I’ve gotta say: I miss him a lot. He’s coming home tomorrow for three days and I can’t wait. I’m so excited to see him that I can barely focus on work.

Speaking of which, Veronica agreed to cut the number of stories Stormy is being assigned and extended his deadlines but she evaded my questions about setting up a meeting with him and the HR rep for the station. Stormy is right. This isn’t typical of Veronica; something is going on with her. It’s not really my place to get to the bottom of it, either. I went to tell Stormy after lunch, he was at his desk, as usual. He followed me into my office and sat down wearily, but hopeful.

“So I talked to Veronica. She’s going to talk to Greg about reducing the amount of stories you’re being assigned and pushing your deadlines back a little.”

Stormy let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, so when are we going to meet to discuss my contract?”

I looked at the floor, “Stormy, you might not even want to renegotiate your contract with the lesser work load.”

“Oh COME ON!” He was yelling, “Even YOU couldn’t get her to schedule a meeting!?”

“Stormy, there’s a lot going on right now for everyone.” I said trying to calm him down, “Veronica has always been a hard person to schedule time with. Take the lesser workload and see how you feel after a week or two, okay?”

Stormy looked pissed but nodded. He left my office in a huff.

“WHAT was that about?” Steve said coming into my office and handing me some files I’d asked him to copy.

“Nothing.” I sighed, “Veronica has been hard to schedule a meeting with.”

“Oh…” Steve laid the files on my desk but I stopped him.

“What do you know?” I asked glaring at him.

“Um. Nothing. Why would you think that I…I don’t know anything.” Steve was avoiding eye contact with me.

“Spill it, Steve.”

“It’s just a rumor.”

“I want to hear it.”

“Word on the street is that Veronica might be fired by the higher-ups.”

“What! Why?”

“I have no idea. I swear!”

“How do you know this?”

“Rose said that a few of Veronica’s bosses are keeping tabs on her and scheduling almost daily meetings. She said she can often hear raised voices but she isn’t sure what the meetings are about; the only thing she’s been able to get is that they aren’t going in Veronica’s favor.”

“Steve that’s ridiculous! We’d see them in the office if they were coming here every day.”

“We have seen them though! Rose said they usually come in the morning before everyone else gets into work, but I’ve seen them come at later times in the day, too. You’re usually in your office, so it makes sense that you’ve never seen them walking around the floor.”

I was shocked at what Steve was saying. Not just because it was surprising but because I hadn’t noticed it at all. I told Steve to try and shut the rumors down if he could and then he left. If Veronica is fired I don’t know what that will mean for the paper or me. I mean, she hired me. She hired all of us! If the higher-ups were questioning her judgment they might choose to re-evaluate all of us as well to see if there were better candidates and to weed out any mistakes Veronica may have made.

(Author's Note: I apologize for posting this late but Blogger was undergoing maintenance and wouldn't let me post it when I wanted to.)

Planning

Things at work have been really hectic for our writing staff, lately. I feel bad for Stormy because he’s basically been working two full-time jobs what with all the news he’s got to write about and then report on at night for the program and Veronica has always been a hard worker but I’m starting to wonder if she ever leaves her office. For the past month she’s been here before everyone else and always seems to stay late.

Stormy walked into my office this morning with dark circles under his eyes and wearing disheveled clothes.

“Long week?” I asked as he plopped down in my office.

“That’s an understatement. I talked to Rose about the Veronica thing.”

“And what did she recommend?” I asked.

“Well, after some awkward exchanges, she basically told me not to do it until things calm down news-wise.”

“Well, that’s not really unexpected advice.”

“Yeah but I can’t keep up with my work, Faith. I don’t know how much longer I can work these hours.”

“What do you need me to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I just need to suck it up and talk to Veronica. Do you think you could be involved in that meeting since it sort of involves you?”

“I suppose, but the HR person for the news station would be more appropriate since you’re interested in getting out from under that.”

“You’re so much nicer, though. The people at the station hate me.”

I smirked a little at this. It’s no secret that Stormy had a serious ego before getting it shrunken down when he revisited being a serious journalist. From what I’ve heard, he doesn’t have a lot of fans at the station. He’s dated practically every woman in our office as well as the station and it makes for some very uncomfortable moments between him and his co-host that the crew is pretty fed up with. Stormy brings in a lot of viewers, though, so the behavior is put up with. It was refreshing to know that Stormy at least knew he was not very well-liked. I told him I would sit in as long as the other HR rep did and that he would need to let me know when he planned to do it. He begrudgingly left my office when I had two more visitors.

“Faith? We need to fill out some paperwork with you…” Steve walked into my office with Tom, one of our gossip columnists, ad closed the door behind him.

“Which kind?”

“The kind that shares our relationship status and bars us from filing a sexual harassment suit should things go south.” Steve replied as he sat down across from me. Tom sat in the chair next to him.

“Oh, okay.” I smiled and gave them the forms.

In about two minutes they were all set. Tom got up to leave and Steve closed the door behind him before quickly turning around and looking at me.

“Oh my God, how cute is he, right?” Steve came and sat back down in the chair across from me.

“He is pretty cute, Steve.”

“We’ve been thinking about officially getting together for awhile and it finally happened!”

Steve was beaming. I felt really happy for him (and relieved that he wasn’t breaking the rules he helped create). He gushed for awhile in my office before I got back to work. I’m really excited for this trip Sean and I are going on. My bag has been packed since yesterday and I can’t wait to leave early tomorrow from work to head tot his awesome hotel. Sean showed me the brochure and it is going to be AWESOME.

Double Whamy

I was invited to go out for drinks with a few work friends after we were all done for the day and I decided to go because I had so much fun the last time and because Dina and Suzy were going to be there and we haven’t had much time to catch up since the holidays (they’ve both been really busy with deadlines what with the revolutions going on in the Middle East and Africa [for Dina] and Charlie Sheen [for Suzy] and the hot mess he’s become). I had a few paperwork things to finish with Steve so we got there about an hour late but the party was in full swing!

Dina and Suzy were dancing with some other work friends to old 80’s music pumping out of the jukebox and waved at me as Steve and I sat down with our group. Riley, one of the politics writers was sitting next to Stormy, who I sat down next to. Steve sat across from me next to Tom. Suzy is adamant that they are dating but for a gossip writer she seems to be wrong a lot with the office gossip, so I’m taking it with a grain of salt but still suspicious. I’m positive that Steve would have told me by now if they were, after all, he helped me write the policy guidelines requiring all employees to make their relationships known.

A few people were buzzed and bordering on tipsy by the time Steve and I got there. I knew Dina definitely was because she normally doesn’t let loose like she was on the dance floor. She came over to me out of breath and tossed her arms around me.

“Faaaaaaiiiith!!!! I’ve missed yooou! I feel like we never talk anymore!”

“I miss you, too Dina, we should get lunch regularly again. Is your husband going to come pick you up?”

“Yeeess! We need shots!” She twirled around her chair and dragged Suzy off the dance floor and to the bar to go get more shots. I was laughing as I watched them. It was nice to see them having so much fun, especially with how hard they’ve been working, lately. I settled into a martini and relaxed. I’d had a long day and was enjoying listening to the various conversations between my co-workers when I noticed Stormy doing the same thing.

“How are you, Stormy?” I asked leaning forward so he could hear me over the jukebox.

“I’m doing okay. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. Can we go outside?”

“Sure.” I said downing my martini, grabbing my purse, and standing up.

When we were outside it became pretty apparent just how loud the music was inside, my ear were ringing in the sudden quiet. It had become dark outside and I realized just how hungry I was.

“Um, this is sort of awkward…but do you want to grab a slice of pizza across the street?”

I stared at Stormy with confusion.

“I thought we talked about this, Stormy, I’m in a-”

“It’s not a date.” He said trying to reassure me, “It just might be a long conversation.”

I shrugged and followed him across the street to a pizza place. We paid for our slices and sat at a table before he started.

“I need your advice.”

“Okay…” I said taking a bite.

“I don’t want to be a news anchor anymore. I want to be a journalist full-time for the paper.”

“Oh.” I was pretty shocked.

Stormy has definitely gone through a personality change since working at the paper. He was really cocky and full of himself, not to mention a womanizer and generally a creep. But I think he’s become more professional since we’ve worked together and he’s been taking his writing more seriously as of late. At the same time, this is a problem. Veronica has mentioned in the past what an asset he is to the nightly news as an anchor and I KNOW she is going to flip when he tells her.

“Writing again has really made me realized why I got into this field and I don’t want to be a newscaster anymore. I want to write. I want to be a journalist again. I know Veronica is going to be majorly pissed so I was wondering if you had any ideas on how to approach her.”

“Well, Rose her secretary would probably be the best person to ask. I would recommend, though, that you make an appointment with Veronica because she’s so busy. She also probably won’t appreciate you just sticking your head into her office and dropping this huge bomb on her, especially since ratings have been…taxing lately.”

The nightly news Sean and Veronica were working on (and the sponsor of our paper) wasn’t doing as well in the ratings department. Veronica said that it’s because there was too much coverage over celebrities and that we should do more serious stories but her bosses aren’t buying it and are reluctant to listen to her suggestions. It’s made Veronica very stressed out and Stormy’s decision really couldn’t be coming at a worse time for her.

“But you really should contact Rose about how to talk to Veronica.” I said.

Stormy looked crestfallen. I think he’d wanted to avoid that because he and Rose had a relationship that ended very, very badly, from what I’ve heard.

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.” I said.

“It’s okay. At least I tried.” He shrugged.

Just then my phone buzzed. I looked down and I had a text from Theo:

Thundercats are Go! Anna is in labor, we’ll be at the hospital in 20 minutes!

I told Stormy I had to go and then hailed a cab. I was at the hospital for about 8 hours. I’ve just popped in to take a nap and change my clothes. I’ll finish telling you all what happens when Anna finally has her baby! (It’s looking like a LOOOOOOONG labor, kids!)

Head Case

Sean and I woke up before I had to leave for work. He hadn’t planned on staying the night so he had to go back to his place and grab his guitar before band rehearsal early in the morning. We drank coffee in my kitchen before he left and things were just SO awkward. What exactly do you say to your boyfriend when you have a panic attack simply because he touched you? Sean broke the silence that was creeping between us first.

“You know you don’t have to apologize for what happened, right?”

“Yes…why?”

“You just kept repeating that you were sorry last night when you were having a hard time breathing.”

“I did?”

Sean nodded and then looked at his cup of coffee. I was shocked that I didn’t realize that. I had a sudden wave of sadness come over me when Sean said that.

“I’m never going to be normal again.” Tears started to sting my eyes and I looked down at my coffee to try and hide them. Sean came over and gave me a hug, unsure at first, but then loving and gentle.

“Do you want me to give you Dr. Deerhorn’s phone number?” He asked trying to be sensitive.

“I don’t know that I’m ready to really talk about it yet.” I said.

“Well, I’ll leave his card on your counter so if you are ready to talk about it it’ll be here for you, okay?”

I nodded.

“What if I don’t ever feel ready to go?” I asked childishly.

Sean put his hand on my face and wiped a tear away.

“You’ll deal with this the best way you can. If you don’t want to talk to Dr. Deerhorn you’ll still come to terms with what happened, just in a different way.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead and then gave me another hug.

“How did I get so damn lucky?” I asked to myself.

“I’ve gotta go.” He said pulling away from me. I pulled him back to me with his hand.

“Please don’t leave.” I said while simultaneously hating how needy and clingy I sounded.

I started kissing him and trying to take things further but he stopped all of my advances.

“Faith you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to.” I whispered against his jaw.

“I don’t need you to prove anything to me.”

“Who says I’m proving something?” I said moving my hands to his jeans.

“Faith.” He held my hands in his and put his forehead against mine, “You’re going to be late for work. Come on, I’ll walk you there.”

He pulled me towards the door and I reluctantly collected my things so we could go. It hurts a little that Sean rejected me but in retrospect I’m pretty embarrassed about my behavior. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to initiate sex when it had turned out so badly only a few hours earlier. I wrote him a text apologizing for my behavior but I chose not to send it because of what he said earlier: that I didn’t need to apologize to him. I must have seemed a little down at work because Steve, Suzy, Dina, and a few other people invited me to grab some drinks with them after work. I decided to go because it had felt so long since I hung out with people other than Zoey, Sean, or Murphy.

I left with the group and Steve walked next to me.

“Are you alright?” He asked, “Did they ever catch who broke into your apartment?”

“No, they haven’t found them yet, but the landlord changed the locks and added some added security features to the main lobby.”

“Oh, well that’s good, right?”

“Yeah.” I said. I let Steve believe that I was bummed about my apartment because none of my work friends knew about what happened with Kevin and I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew that if I mentioned it Dina and Suzy would want to know every single detail and I had already relived the attack once in the past 24 hours, I didn’t want to relive it again.

Once we got to the bar and ordered our drinks, Dina even sprung for some awesomely bar-like appetizers (mozzarella sticks, buffalo wings, and cheese fries) for everyone. I talked to a lot of people from work that I haven’t gotten to know outside of our professional relationship and the most surprising was Stormy. I always thought he was a womanizer and full of himself, but I think deep down it’s just a show and there’s some decency underneath it all. Out of everyone I mingled with, he’s the only one who bothered to ask about my mood besides Steve.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem like your cheerful self…in fact you haven’t really seemed like yourself for awhile.”

“Um, yeah,” I said feeling a tad uncomfortable, “I’ve just had a lot of personal stuff going on. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, well, do you want to talk about it? Women tell me I’m a great listener.” He said following my eyes before giving me a cheesy grin he uses in front of the camera.

I giggled.

“No, I’ll be okay. Really.”

“Okay, well, look do you want to go out with me?”

He asked right when I put a forkful of cheese fries in my mouth and I nearly choked. He patted my back until I recomposed myself.

“I don’t really need you to offer me a pity date.” I said.

“Oh, that’s not really why I was asking. I’ve just been noticing you for awhile…bad timing. I get it.”

I felt bad, Stormy looked genuinely hurt.

“Well, I’m dating someone, anyway.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way…but is it serious?”

“Yeah.” I said, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Trust me, being my friend is SO much easier than being my boyfriend.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” He shrugged.

“I thought you had girls line up around the corner anyway.” I said playfully punching him in the arm.

“Nah, I’m giving that up…think of it as an early New Year’s resolution.”

“I hear Suzy’s single and looking.” I said winking and nodding in her direction.

Stormy looked at her and then went to go chat her up. I decided it was time for me to go home. I said my goodbyes before leaving and when I got home I realized just how exhausted I was. I’m sure my tiredness was related to what happened with Sean but I was happy to be home all the same. I fed Murphy and changed into my pajamas before making myself some comfort food (microwaveable mac n’cheese with mini pepperonis, yum!). As it was cooking I saw the card Sean had left sitting on my counter and stared at it for awhile.

I have an appointment with Dr. Deerhorn when I get back from my Christmas vacation, I’m sure I’ll need it after spending two full weeks with my parents.

Recaps and Speculation

I went to work to face the concerned looks of Steve, Dina, and Suzy as soon as I walked in. I explained to them everything that had happened over lunch.

“Wait, Sean’s manager tried to kill himself?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, apparently he checked himself into a hospital three states over because he was feeling suicidal and then tried to do it while he was waiting for a psych evaluation. He tried to hang himself with a bed sheet and was placed on a 5150 psych hold the night of the break-in following his suicide attempt. He’s been placed on it indefinitely…” I said recanting the information I found out from another visit from Guy the night before.

Guy had come over with more information on Gerry’s state (he’s stable and lucid) late last night. He had decided to see if any of the other guys would sign the power of attorney, but no one can drop everything and move to be with Gerry since they don’t even know when he’s going to get out of the hospital. They’re all pretty distraught.

“Why is he so far away?” Dina asked.

“That’s where his daughter lives. Apparently he’s been keeping tabs on her for awhile but never plucked up the courage to actually make contact with her after he and his ex-wife divorced. It wasn’t a pretty divorce either. Guy thinks Gerry went there to reconnect with his daughter but wasn’t emotionally ready and had a breakdown before voluntarily checking himself into the psych ward.”

“I can’t believe Sean didn’t know any of this about Gerry.” Dina said, and Steve nodded in agreement.

“Gerry got divorced a few years before he discovered the band. Sean said Gerry’s never talked about his personal life and everyone just figured he was too much of a workaholic to have one.”

“Wait, so this means that Gerry didn’t break into your apartment, right?” Suzy asked.

“Yeah, the police confirmed it. Gerry has a rock solid alibi for the night of the break-in…an alibi that involves an indefinite psych hold.”

“So who was it?” Suzy asked taking a bite of salad.

“The police still don’t know. Sean and I were so positive it was Gerry, any other possible person just seems impossible now that we know it wasn’t him.”

“Not even Kevin?” Dina asked looking at me.

“I don’t think so. He hasn’t been in contact with me since I quit, it seems a little ridiculous that he would suddenly break into my apartment. I’m pretty sure Kevin was taller than the person I saw. Whoever was there didn’t even do anything. All the damage was done by Murphy. I’m starting to think it was just a random break in that Sean and I interrupted before anything could be stolen.”

“Well, I know that happens.” Steve said, “A friend of mine was robbed about a year ago. They caught the person after two more break-ins; it was someone in my friend’s building.”

“Well, the police interviewed my neighbors, so hopefully if it was someone in the building, one of them saw something or heard something. The police are still working on everything, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they never find the person.”

I shrugged and continued to eat my sandwich. Suzy changed the subject to the office gossip and our lunch went by without anymore mention of my recent problems.

Windfalls

“Faith we need to add a journalist to cover politics. With the overturning of Prop 8, the death of Ted Stevens, the upcoming elections, and the gold mine of irrationality that is the Tea Party…it’s just not feasible for Riley and Mariah to be able to write that much. In fact I think we need to add more than one person.”

Veronica and I have made it a habit to touch base at least once every morning. She updates me on anything she needs my assistance on (like Steve replacing all of the break room food) and I update her on my progress with the company policies, and problems that I might have to take care of (like one of the toilets kept running so I had to call maintenance). The topic of conversation had shifted to future hires.

“Well, I know that Jenny had expressed interest in writing political-based stories. If I remember correctly, I think one of her writing samples was about the health care reform. And she has background experience doing political research. We could have her write for politics and gossip.”

“No, let’s shift her to the politics team as a full-time writer and hire a new gossip columnist. I still want you to look for one more possible hire for politics. The Tea Party activism alone will be impossible to cover with Jenny, Riley, and Mariah.”

“Okay, do you want me to use the resumes we kept on file? Or should I sniff around some other resources as well.”

“Whatever you decide.”

Then Veronica’s phone rang and I took my cue to leave. My amazement at the windfall that had just landed in my lap carried me all the way to my office. I closed the door and then ran to my computer. I sent Dina and Suzy an e-mail:

Hello ladies,

My paper has two openings in it and I think you should submit your resumes, cover letters, and writing samples.

First, the perfect job for Suzy: a gossip columnist. I expect your resume within 24 hours ; ).

Dina, there’s a job opening up as a politics writer. You’d be working with four other people, three writers and a cartoonist. I know you’re a fact-checker and line up sources but I know you used to write. It’s worth a shot to apply.

I’ll put in good words for both of you.
-Faith

I then called Jenny in and explained that we would like to transfer her over to politics. She was pretty overjoyed about it because politics was her main focus. All in all it was a good day.

Covert

I called Sean the day after “the incident” but he didn’t answer. I’ve tried calling several times…but I’m pretty sure he’s screening me. As a result I felt completely awful when I went into work today and it must have showed on my face because Steve knocked on my door right after I came back from lunch.

“Come in.”

“Hey…are you okay? I can’t help but notice that you’ve been kind of distracted. You missed an appointment.” Steve pushed his head inside the door, afraid or unwilling to come all the way in.

My head snapped up in shock and panic, “What!?”

“It’s fine, I was able to reschedule for you before they went out of their way to get here.”

“How do you know I would’ve missed it if they didn’t even show up?”

“Because you didn’t get the paperwork completed yet.” Steve stepped all the way into my office, more confident now, and closed the door behind him before he sat in one of the chairs across from my desk. “Would you like me to do it? You’ve been really busy with the company policies.”

“No, Steve, I think I’ll be able to handle it. When did you reschedule it for?”

“Next week. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

“I have to work, Steve.”

“You still have 15 minutes of your lunch left.”

“You actually time me?” I eyed him with judgment.

“I’m your assistant, it benefits both of us if I know when you take your lunch and how long it is supposed to be so I don’t over book you.”

“Fair enough,” I sighed. I put my head in my hands…probably more dramatically than I should have.

“I see.” Steve eyed me knowingly, “What did he do?”

I blushed at how well Steve could read my mind.

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Honey, I know more about men than you do and I can spot a lover’s quarrel within a hundred miles. So what was it about? Is he cheating on you?” Steve crossed his legs and cocked his head.

“No. I made him feel bad and now he won’t return my calls.”

“Well that’s juvenile,” Steve said, I glared at him in return. I didn’t quite like the fact that Steve was passing judgment on my boyfriend like that.

“He has every right to be angry. I guess angry isn’t the right word...I embarrassed him.” I said trying not to give anything away.

“Faith…what could you have possibly done to embarrass your boyfriend so much that he’s screening your calls?”

I looked down, my face was hot, “I can’t tell anyone. It would make things worse. I promised I wouldn’t say anything about it.”

“Am I allowed to guess, at least?”

“I can’t tell you if you’re right.”

“I see. Well, there’s really only one option for you then, right?”

I looked at Steve, amazed at how easy it was to like him when he wasn’t raving about texturized vegetable proteins and soy coffee creamer, “And that would be?”

“Go to his house and break down the door.”

With that Steve got up and walked out of my office, closing the door behind him.

I sat in my chair spinning in circles for awhile thinking about my conversation with Steve…and Theo. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Steve’s voice on my office intercom.

“You have a call.”

“Okay, thank you.”

I waited for the phone to ring and picked it as soon as it started.

“This is Faith, how may I help you?”

“This is Suzy. And Dina….we need to talk to you. Now.”

“Hey guys, what’s-“

“Have you taken a lunch yet?”

“Yeah…I just got back.”

“Damn. Okay, well….are you free for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, but what’s going on?”

“We have to go, meet us at our old Chinese place, okay?”

“Alright.”

The phone line clicked off. I stared at the phone in confusion and tried to get through the majority of my work for the rest of today. I’m about to go meet Dina and Suzy and be sure to report back when I get home.

(Author's note: There will be a post every day this week so make sure to come by often!)

Props

“Faith, you’ve got to come down here!”

Sean was yelling at me through his phone. He was at a really loud place and full of joy. I was so confused.

“Sean I’m still at work. I’ll leave in like an hour. Where are you?”

“I’m at a bar a few blocks from your building.”

“What are you doing? And why is it so loud.”

I heard Sean stumbling around and then suddenly it was quiet, “Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. When you get off work you need to come down here and celebrate with me and my buddies.”

“What are we celebrating?”

“How do you not know what happened today? You work at a newspaper.”

“I’ve been working in my office, alone with the door closed.”

I got up and walked out of my office to an equally jubilant gaggle of co-workers. I told Sean I’d meet him when I left work and hung up the phone. Steve ran up to me and handed me what I assumed was a vegan cupcake.

“What’s going on Steve?”

“Prop 8 was deemed unconstitutional! Gay marriage is headed to the Supreme Court!”

I spent the rest of my time at work partying it up with the news staff and watching five different news stations at once. The only person who wasn’t celebrating was Veronica, she was in her office on the phone deep in conversation; probably about the evening news and the commentary on Prop 8.

When I finally left and met up with Sean he was pretty buzzed.

“Faith I want you to finally meet my friends they’re all inside. C’mon.”

He grabbed my hand like a little kid and dragged me inside what was clearly a gay bar with a giant television screen blasting the news broadcast about Prop 8. He walked me over to a bright neon green see-through table where his four bandmates and tour manager were sitting.

“Guys, this is Faith, my girlfriend.” Sean said, “That’s Guy, Gerry, Jake, Lou, and Eddie.” Sean said pointing out each person at the table. We all shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

“I’m going to go grab you a drink,” Sean said giving me a kiss on the forehead before disappearing into the crowd.

Guy is the lead singer and plays back up guitar to Sean while Lou is the drummer, Eddie is the bassist, and Jake plays the keyboard. I’d never seen Gerry before but he was by far more serious than the rest of them, although still cheerful. He looked like a guy that just gets things done and the stress was etched on his face. I wasn’t sure how old he was but the rest of them were in their late 20’s like Sean.

“So, Faith,” Jake turned to me, “You know Sean just adores you, right?”

I smiled shyly, “Yes. I’m really lucky that he puts up with me.”

Jake and I made more small talk with the others injecting funny stories about Sean. Eventually Sean came back with a strawberry daiquiri and a beer. I grabbed the beer from his hand so he was stuck with the ostentatious daiquiri.

“Aww, come on.” He said looking at his drink.

I giggled, “Too bad.”

“Oh I like her, Sean. Keep her. You’re going to get so many phone numbers tonight.” Jake winked at him.

Sean grumbled something and shrunk into his seat.

“Sean, honey, you’re almost as red as that ridiculous drink,” I said laughing.

“Did you guys tell her?” He asked.

“Tell me what?” I asked.

“Eddie and I just got engaged.” Jake said sticking his left hand out to show me his ring.

“Oh, congratulations! Are you moving to California?”

“No,” Eddie said shrugging and putting his arm around Jake, “But it’s bound to go to the Supreme Court and become federal law. So we’ll just use the interim to plan the wedding so we can be ready when it does happen.”

I liked Eddie, he was really laid back compared to Jake and they were so cute together. Just then a thin attractive man came up to Sean, whispered something in his ear, and handed him a napkin with his phone number on it. Sean turned bright red and mumbled that he was taken. He put his arm around me and moved closer into the center of the booth. We spent the night talking with Sean’s friends and dancing. Sean got four more numbers that night before we decided to leave.

“You know, I'm shocked that you didn't defend my honor in there.” He said holding my hand as we walked.

“I’m not threatened. Anyone who wears that much glitter is trying too hard anyway. Are you going to call all of them, I'm sure they'd LOVE that?” I joked.

Sean invited me to his place but it was really late and I had to work the next day so I declined. It was nice to meet Sean’s friends, finally. I hope I made a good impression.