Happy Fucking Holidays

Mike and I trudged up the snowy stoop to Maggie’s house. I was carrying several gifts for Grant and Annabelle and had gifts for Claire, Sarah, Maggie, and Jamie in a bag slung over my shoulder. Mike was holding a dish of my stuffed mushrooms and a couple bottles of wine.

I chose my outfit very carefully for the night. It was a black dress with long black sleeves and a conservative neckline. It went to just above my knee and I was wearing thick black tights and black shoes. Mike had commented that I looked like I was going to a funeral so I threw on some Christmas ball ornament earrings, put a gift bow in my hair, and changed my shoes out for some shiny red pumps that matched the earrings and bow.

Maggie greeted us at the door.

She gave Mike a kiss on the cheek while Jamie helped me put the gifts under the tree. Maggie smiled at me but didn’t say anything. Sarah bounded around the corner from the kitchen.

“Faith!” She hugged me, “I love your bow!” Sarah immediately started telling me about school and a new boy she was seeing.

I saw Maggie roll her eyes as she took my stuffed mushrooms to the kitchen. Claire came down the stairs with a man I’d never met. She introduced me to him as her fiancé, Gerard. They were both wearing oversized ugly Christmas sweaters and drinking mugs of hot cocoa.

“Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.” Maggie trilled, “Claire, Sarah, Faith! Help come set the table, please!”

I was surprised to be included but reported for duty in the kitchen anyway as Sarah continued talking about school. Dinner went smoothly, as did opening gifts, Maggie was on her best behavior and I knew it was probably Mike’s doing. I was so grateful for it and made a mental note to thank him later. Eventually we all settled in with slices of some Christmas pies and warm cider in front of the television to watch the classic Christmas movie marathons on cable. I shut my eyes for a second but must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, everyone was sleeping but Maggie and Mike weren’t there.

I got up to see if they were in the kitchen and took some dishes with me. I went to put them in the dishwasher but couldn’t tell if the china was dishwasher safe. Rather than risk destroying Maggie’s china, I went to go find her and ask. I walked to the stairs and heard some mumbling coming from one of the rooms above. Outside of Maggie and Jamie’s bedroom, I could hear hushed arguing.

“Come on! I have every right to ask for it. You know she would have wanted this.” Mike said with irritation.

“Over my dead body.” Maggie hissed, “That woman will not be wearing my dead mother’s wedding ring!”

“Maggie, mom left it to me in her will. I gave it to you for safe keeping not to act as a gatekeeper to my relationships. I’m in love with her. I want to marry her and I want to give her mom’s ring! Where is it!?”

“You’ll never find it. If you want to marry her so bad buy a new ring. You better get on it if you want to give it to her on New Year’s Eve!” She sneered.

I slipped away from the door as Mike continued to argue and slowly walked back to the living room. I sat on the couch in shock and almost woke Sarah up. She nuzzled into my side and fell back asleep. I didn’t know what to say after hearing Mike and Maggie argue. I didn’t know what to think. Mike wanted to marry me and Maggie was clearly not thrilled about that idea.

I heard Mike thumping down the stairs and pretended to be asleep. I didn’t want him to know I’d heard them arguing. I cracked my eyes slightly, Maggie followed behind him with an unreadable look on her face. I shut my eyes again and a few moments later felt Mike nudging me.

“Hey. It’s getting late. We should probably go. Unless you wanted to spend the night…” He joked.

He seemed like nothing had happened. If I hadn’t overheard their argument earlier I never would’ve guessed that he’d been fighting with his sister. I nodded and got up to get my coat.

“Oh, Maggie, I cleaned up the plates from dessert but I wasn’t sure if they were dishwasher safe… I left them in the sink.”

She hand-waved at me, realized she was being rude, and then came over to us at the front door.

“SO glad you could come, Faith.” She said sweetly.

It was so fake I wanted to gag, especially when she pulled me in for a hug. She kissed Mike on the cheek to say goodbye and then we were off.

Mike had said nothing about the fight with his sister over the coming days. I didn’t want to bring it up because I didn’t want Mike to know I’d overheard that he was planning to propose. It was weird pretending like nothing happened and Mike did such a great job of it. Maybe he was just SO used to Maggie’s behavior and bickering with her that fights with her no longer phased him?

Regardless, for New Year’s Eve, Mike was taking me and his half-sister, Hailey, to a party at his fire station. I had only met Hailey once before (well twice if you count the time I met her as she ran out of Mike’s apartment when I thought he was cheating on me with her) but liked her significantly more than Maggie so I wasn’t too worried about spending the holiday with her. Mike had still not told Sarah or Claire that she even existed and as far as I knew, Maggie had no idea Mike had actually found her and contacted her. I didn’t even know if Hailey knew about her half-sisters at all, so I decided to ask Mike about her.

“I don’t want to say too much, so does Hailey know about your sisters? Or does she only know about you?”

“She knows that they exist, but she doesn’t know anything about them. And she hasn’t asked about them so I just assume she’d rather not know.” Mike shrugged.

“But she didn’t mind meeting you.” I pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but I’m the one who reached out to her. Not the other way around. It’s possible she didn’t ever want to meet any of us before I showed up. She’s never seemed mad about me contacting her but I have a feeling it wasn’t exactly something she’d had high on a priority list.”

“Why?” I asked, “If I had a half-brother or sister that I definitely knew about, I would’ve wanted to meet them as soon as possible.”

Mike was quiet for a second.

“Well…she…her life was a lot different than mine was. To her, her dad was a deadbeat that she saw once a year for her birthday. As she got older I’m sure she could tell he didn’t really want to be there, that it was really just a half-assed effort to be in her life. I don’t even know what kind of effect that would’ve had on her mom but I’m sure it probably wasn’t a positive one. If it had been me? And I knew that he had this whole other family he spent all of his time with? I’d have a chip on my shoulder. At the very least, I’d be jealous of what they had.”

“But Hailey is really nice. She doesn’t seem like she’s got a chip on her shoulder.” I said.

“Well, yeah, but…she’s an adult now Faith. She processed that stuff well before I met her. She mentioned getting in trouble a lot when she was in high school. She mentioned being put on house arrest at one point her junior year. My dad’s lack of presence in her life certainly didn’t help that behavior.”

I understood what Mike was saying but I couldn’t help feel bad for Hailey. And for Mike, too. It’s hard seeing your parents in such a negative light when you’ve idolized them. I’m sure for Mike it felt like a deep betrayal. He was so close to his dad and only found out about Hailey’s existence after Frank died. I couldn’t even imagine it.

Mike spent the night at my place that night and in the morning I woke up to find him in my kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee in an eerily calm manner. I wasn’t sure what was going on until I looked down on the counter and saw it. My heart sank.

“Were you going to tell me about this?” He asked quietly.

I could hear the anger in his voice even though it was quiet and calm.

“Mike…” I didn’t know what to say.

Because of the holidays, I had been sloppy with taking my pill. I’d forgotten to take it a few times but we’d been using condoms regardless so I felt like we were being safe until my period was late. I took a pregnancy test just to make sure and it was, of course, negative. I threw it away in the trash before Mike came over and didn’t even think about it until I saw it sitting there on a napkin on the counter.

“It was negative.” I said after a long pause.

“I can see that.” He said.

“I…didn’t think it was something I needed to tell you. No need to worry you about something that isn’t actually happening.”

“You thought you were pregnant and didn’t tell me.” He looked at me with hurt in his eyes and I felt a million times worse.

“But I wasn’t pregnant. I obviously would have told you if it was positive.” I said.

“Would you?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Or would you just terminate without telling me.”

“Oh my GOD, Mike!? Seriously?” I was pissed.

“I can’t believe how irresponsible you could be…AGAIN!?”

“Mike, what are you talking about? I’M NOT PREGNANT.”

“No, but you had a pregnancy scare. That takes SOME level of irresponsibility to get to that point.”

I gave him a hard stare.

“Yeah, okay, so it was me being irresponsible. Just me, then? I’ll be more careful in the future knowing I can get pregnant with no outside help.”

He let out an angry breath.

“You know what I mean!”

“No. No, Mike, I don’t! I had a pregnancy scare because my period is late. I would’ve peed on that stick even if we hadn’t had sex in months, just to make sure. I didn’t tell you because I knew my period was probably late because of stress at work and with the holidays, I just wanted to cover all of my bases, so I took a pregnancy test. Do you want me to update you on all of menstruation needs and issues?”

He gave me a dirty look.

“I don’t know what you would’ve wanted me to do, Mike.” I said angrily, “Would this conversation have been any different if I’d told you BEFORE I peed on that thing? You think I’ve been irresponsible. That the decisions I’ve made have been poor and selfish. Fine.”

I walked away and Mike followed me to my bedroom. I slammed the door in his face and locked it.

He apologized the next day.

Speaking of work, Steve, my old assistant, and I have been collaborating on a possible project and I think it will make things really turn around at The Glass Penny. I’m also trying to get Hazel to consider changing the theatre to a non-profit organization. We’ll see how that goes.

The party Mike, Hailey, and I went to for New Year’s was fun. Collin, Henry, Patrick, and Tony were there as well as Mike’s boss. It was nice to see them all again, especially Dolly, Mike’s Dalmatian that lived in the firehouse. But the whole night I was waiting for him to propose. The most logical time, in my mind, was midnight, but it came and went and all he did was give me a kiss. I was disappointed and confused. Had he changed his mind because of the pregnancy test? Does he not want to marry me anymore because he thinks I’m irresponsible? Did the pregnancy scare change how he feels about me? Or did Maggie just never give him the ring?