Instinct Games

I had lunch with Dina, Suzy, and Steve today at work and told them about my situation with Sean.
“I’m glad you told us, Faith,” Dina said touching my hand, “We were kind of worried. You’ve seemed so down but none of us wanted to ask.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been squashing all of the office gossip about why you were down.” Suzy said stabbing her salad with her fork.
“Um. Thanks.” I said looking down at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Do you know what you’re going to do?” Steve asked.
“No. I’ve been trying to figure it out but I’m really torn about it. I have no idea.”
“Have you guys been talking at all?” Dina asked.
“We’ve been keeping in touch; I’ve been updating him about the fact that I haven’t made a decision yet.” I joked weakly.
“You know I was cheated on once by a guy,” Steve said dipping a pita chip into some vegan humus, “we did get back together afterward but it didn’t last.”
“Oh.”
“Not because of the cheating, Faith, I just got tired of him, honestly. I was able to get past the cheating, actually.”
“Oh.” I said a little more cheerily.
“You know, you should just make a list of pros and cons and use that to decide for you.” Dina said.
“Or flip a coin.” Suzy said.
I changed the subject and finished my lunch listening to the others talk. When the lunch hour was over I checked in with Todd and Tanya on their progress before going back to my office. I struggled to get my work done until I gave in to making a pros and cons list since it had been suggested to me twice now. I kept adding to it in between answering e-mails, phone calls, and filling out paperwork and realized it was getting late. I had some time-sensitive paperwork regarding Tanya and Todd’s payment schedule to finish (it’s not on the same schedule the other staff has because of the uniqueness of their positions and commissions for work) so I ended up staying late. When I finally finished, I stretched in my chair, grabbed my bag, and headed toward the elevator to go home.
I noticed a light on as I came closer to the elevator. Stormy was still at work. I waved at him when I reached the end of the hallway.
“You’re still here?” I asked, “I thought we just made your job easier. You should go home.”
“I took on an extra story.” He said.
“Come on, we can share the elevator.” I said nodding my head toward it.
Stormy thought about it and then shut down his computer. I made small talk while he put his stuff away.
“How’s Rose?” I asked.
“She’s fine. Her roommate is moving out so she’s looking for a new one and is stressed out about it, but it’s not a huge deal. I’m sure she’ll find someone. How’s your fiancé?” He asked.
I silently kicked myself for asking about Rose.
“Um, we’re not engaged anymore. We’re kind of on a break right now.” I mumbled.
Stormy stood up and we started walking towards the elevator. He stopped me before we got there though.
“Faith, I’m really sorry for my behavior after our meeting with Veronica. It was inappropriate and if that’s why he’s-”
“It’s not.” I said before he got farther into it.
“So you guys aren’t together anymore?”
“I’m reassessing our relationship.” I said moving towards the elevator again.
“Oh.” He said.
We both went to push the button on the elevator and our hands touched. Stormy looked at me and our eyes locked. We got closer to each other very slowly, he dropped the briefcase he was holding and held my face in both of his hands, mine were on his chest. Right before our lips touched I realized what I was doing and gently touched his hands and bowed my head.
“Stormy, I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He lowered his hands and we broke apart like opposing magnets.
“No, I’m sorry that was-”
“It’s just that things are really complicated with my boyfriend right now and you’re with Rose. I just don’t need to make things even more difficult.”
“I understand, and like you said, I’m with Rose. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
We kept talking and rambling over each other all the way down on the elevator. It wasn’t until I got out to the lobby and Stormy left in the opposite direction that I realized I’d made my choice about what to do with Sean. I chose Sean in a situation where I wasn’t obligated to. I went with my gut. I sent him a text:
“I’m in.”