To Call or Not to Call

Elise and I were walking through the park eating our Italian gelato and taking advantage of the weather.

“He’s coming back in a few days…he wants to talk about it.”

“So…did you even try to have sex with him?”

“Of course I did, I tried everything short of taking advantage of him while he was asleep…and I draw the line at raping someone, Elise.”

“Why don’t you just whip out your vibrator the next time he comes over.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well…if he won’t have sex with you, your vibrator will. Maybe if you actually use it in front of him it’ll prove a point OR turn him on.”

“To be honest I think I’m going to end it with him. It’s just not working for me. He’s really cute and sweet and he’s supportive…but…there’s just something missing. The not-having-sex thing was sweet at first but now I’m at the point where it’s starting to hurt my feelings. What if he isn’t attracted to me anymore, Elise? Have I gained weight in my ass or something?”

“Faith, puhlease…you look hotter than ever, your looks are not what’s making Sean put on the brakes. I mean…there’s a bunch of different reasons he’s avoiding having sex with you…none of them, in my opinion, are good reasons.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Well…one of the models I worked with a few months ago, in the Bahamas, was kind of in the same situation you are. She and her boyfriend were having sex and then it just stopped on his end. After awhile it started up again and she left it alone until she found out why he stopped having sex with her for that period of time.”

“What did she find out?” I asked, sitting on a bench. Elise joined me.

“He had a herpes outbreak and didn’t want her to find out. She dumped him on the spot. I guess he’d had herpes for years but he didn’t want to tell her because he wanted her to keep having sex with him. She got tested and stuff and it turns out she’s fine, but it’s still something she can’t believe actually happened.”

I was shocked into silence. I couldn’t believe that Sean would lie to me about something that could seriously affect my health. He’s been so honest about everything.

“Elise he’s never given me a reason not to trust him. I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who would lie to me about having an STD.”

“Okay. Well…why don’t you arrange for him to meet Anna, Zoey, and me so we can tell you what we think? You’ve never been with a guy for this long without introducing us.”

“That’s because the first two months, it was against the rules.” I said, “I guess I can talk Sean into meeting you guys, he’s been wanting to for awhile, I’ll let you know if it happens. I might break up with him before the topic of meeting my friends pops up again.”

“Maybe he just needs more time, Faith. He sounds like a guy who doesn’t mind waiting for sex in a relationship. Is it really a big deal?”

“But then why not address it? Why not just come right out and say that he wants to avoid having sex to increase whatever he thinks it will increase? It’s a big deal Elise, it’s starting to make me wish I’d just said no when he wanted to take me on a date. There’s always this unsaid tension between us now and my feelings for Sean are slowly starting to disappear. At first, I was game….but this…this is just strange, now.”

“Give it some more time Faith. Call him tonight and try to feel the connection you guys had the first night you met. Don’t think about the sex problems; just have a real conversation with him, okay?”

“Alright,” I said sighing.

Now I’m at home and staring at my phone and debating whether or not I should call him. I’m going to go play with Murphy for a little while to clear my head.