Sexy Talk

“So, what exactly do you do at load out?” Mike asked me over dinner.

“I have to supervise the take down of everything. So, the set will be taken apart and pieces we want to keep will be stored, then the lights will be taken down from the fly system and put away along with all the cables they’re connected to. The dressing rooms are all cleared out and the costumes are put back into our storage room. Finally, we’ll clean the stage. It’s going to be a looooong day.” I said.

“And this happens right after the last show ends?”

“Yep.” I said letting out a big sigh. I have always hated load outs, even in college.

“Well, how long does it usually take?” He asked.

“My crew is really good so probably, like, 5 hours, maybe 6?”

“Maybe I could come over and make you dinner afterward.”

“I would really like that. Maybe we could also…have sex?” I blushed.

Mike started choking.

“Oh.” He said once he recovered, “Um. I…I guess we could. Will Molly be there?”

“No. It’s her mom’s birthday and she’s leaving right after the show to go to Michigan to visit. She’ll be gone until Saturday.”

Mike got up to get us more wine.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I said coming up behind him and wrapping my arms around him.

He turned around.

“I want to, I just…I don’t know…I want it to be perfect for you. For us. It’s supposed to be special and romantic, having sex for the first time.”

“I think that’s sweet,” I kissed him, “But it doesn’t have to be perfect. We’ll have lots of chances to have perfect, great sex. It’s just the first time, Mike, it’s not the last time. Trust me.”

I winked.

“Should I get anything for it?” He asked.

“Well you’re already making me dinner.” I laughed.

“No, I meant, like…for the sex part.”

“Oh, you mean like condoms?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“You can. I’m on the pill but we should probably use condoms, too. I have some at my apartment, but if you prefer a certain kind you should probably get some.”

We sat on his couch with our wine.

“I think this is the most honest conversation I’ve ever had about sex before.” I said.

“You didn’t talk about this stuff with your ex-fiancé?” He asked.

“Um. We had a lot of problems in the sex area and he never wanted to talk about it.”

“Oh.”

“But, I’m glad you’re okay with talking about it.” I said.

“Can I be honest about something?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“Planning it makes me kind of nervous…”

“Oh. Well, we can just let it happen. We don’t have to plan for it if that makes you uncomfortable.”

He put his wine glass down and shifted on the couch so he could face me better.

“It’s just that I think about all the ways it could go wrong or if it’s not good for you or it makes things weird-”

“I understand.” I said, “And I really appreciate how open you’re being about this. I am more than happy to just let it happen when it happens.”

Mike looked relieved which prompted me to ask him something that hadn’t occurred to me before.

“Are you not ready to have sex, yet?” I asked gently, “It’s okay if you aren’t.”

“No, I am, I just…I guess I’m just worried you won’t enjoy it and then things will be weird between us.”

“Mike, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. But if I don’t, it’s not going to make me want to end our relationship; I’ll just need to communicate more about what I like. It’s not a big deal. And I have the same performance anxiety as you. We’ll both be just as nervous as the other. It’s okay.”

“You’re right.” He said.

We ended up watching a movie, although I have no idea what it was about because I spent about 98% of it making out with Mike and enjoying some heavy petting. I went home at about 11.

“I’m going to leave a spare key in my mailbox so you can get in before I get home from load out, okay?” I said heading to the door. I wrote down the combination to my mailbox and Mike kissed me.

“Okay, what do you want for dinner?” He asked standing at the door.

“Hmmmm, after load out I’d always just grab a pizza and some root beer. It was a tradition. But that’s so lame for a romantic date, maybe you could make that lasagna again?”

“Okay.” He said smiling.

“Thank you.” I said giving him a hug and another kiss.

“For what?” He asked pulling apart slightly.

“For being such an awesome boyfriend.” I said.

I kissed him one last time before leaving and he sent me a text to make sure I got home okay. I can’t wait for him to meet Murphy for the first time on Wednesday!

(Author's Note: The 7th is the third year anniversary for this blog! Can you believe it's been around for so long?)

And The Verdict Is?

When I told Mike that the girls were excited to meet him, he suggested we all go bowling. I was hesitant at first but decided it would be a really fun way to introduce him to my friends. We all met at the bowling alley and I was nervous from the second Mike and I got there. Zoey brought Wesley and Anna brought Theo. Molly didn’t bring Calvin because “we don’t go on dates”. I rolled my eyes and went to go get shoes for Mike and I.

When I came back, Mike had the girls in stitches with a story from one of his first fires and he was on a real roll all night. We got some drinks and snacks from the food bar and had a blast bowling. There was trash talk, laughter, and Wesley kicked everyone’s ass with a score of 268.

“You neglected to tell us you were a professional bowler, Wesley.” I said queuing up another game for all of us.

I looked around for Mike and saw that he was on his phone. He came back and looked hurried.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

He pulled me aside.

“Faith, I am so sorry. I have to go.”

“What? But we’ve only been here for an hour.”

“I know, there’s a big fire downtown and I’ve been called in for back-up. I have to go. I am so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you and your friends.”

“O-okay.” I said with a great deal of disappointment.

Mike said good-bye to everyone before leaving. It was hard for me not to pout the rest of the night.

“Oh, cheer up, Faith.” Anna said, “We get that he has a job.”

“Seriously. I love him.” Said Zoey.

“Hey now.” Wesley joked.

“You guys like him?” I said looking up from my soda and cheese sticks.

“He’s great. And he’s great for you.” Said Molly.

“The way he looks at you is adorable.” Zoey said stealing a cheese stick.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already falling in love with you.” Anna said.

“It’s a little early for that.” I said, “But I’m so happy you guys like him. I was really nervous you wouldn’t like him like you did with…”

I trailed off and things got awkward. I try to avoid referring to Sean directly as it’s a sore subject for all of us but Theo saved the awkward silence.

“Hey, should we get bumpers this time? Molly kind of needs them.”

“I do not!”

“Your high score was a 12.”

“I’ll go tell the shoe rental guy that we want some bumpers.” I said getting up.

“I’ll go get us some more food. Or maybe we should just grab some pizza after this game?” Wesley asked.

We voted for pizza after one more game and ended up going to a deep dish pizza place that is to die for. I am definitely bringing Mike there on our next date. Anna and Theo are having a barbeque on Labor Day and invited me to it. I’m going to see if Mike can come, too, it’ll give him more time to visit with my friends since tonight was cut short. 

The Girls

The girls and I were having brunch at our favorite little bistro. Anna brought the twins which was an extra treat. They were, of course, perfect angels the whole time and are really starting to get big. It’s hard to believe they’ll be two in February.

“Theo is thinking about taking a fellowship. It’s optional and it means another year of being a student, but it could really help him career-wise, but enough about that, Faith, tell me about your new guy!” Anna said over her Belgian waffles.

“His name is Mike and-”

“Ladies, all you need to know is that he is SUPER HOT.” Molly said.

“Yes, he is.” I added gracefully.

Anna and Zoey vaguely remembered him from the night of the fire but when I showed them a picture of him on Facebook with my phone, they remembered him instantly.

“Damn, he IS hot.” Zoey said.

“Mmmhmmm.” Anna nodded.

I dug into my cheese omelet and let the girls gush some more.

“His looks are really just a side perk, though.” I said, “He’s such a genuine and sweet guy. I really want you guys to meet him and give me your read on him.”

They were excited to get the invitation and we decided on a day next week.

“Faith, I’m so happy for you.” Zoey said eating a sausage link, “You’re in such a good place and I think this is the first time you’ve ever been excited for us to meet a guy you’ve been seeing.”

“Mike doesn’t make me nervous when it comes to taking steps towards commitment. He’s just…having a relationship with him is so…easy. I don’t feel pressured at all and I think that’s why I’m so excited for you guys to meet him…I’m…ready for it to happen, I’m ready for this next step. And I’m not really sure I was with previous boyfriends.”

“So, how’s the sex?” Anna said mouthing the last word.

“We actually haven’t done that yet. We did talk about it pretty openly on our last date, though, which was nice. I’m hoping it happens soon but I don’t think he’s ready yet or he just doesn’t know if I’m ready yet. We need to talk about that a little more, I think.”

“Wow. Look at Faith, all grown up!” Molly said grabbing a slice of toast.

“Yeah, yeah.” I said sipping my orange juice.

I’m so glad the girls are excited to meet Mike. I hope everything goes well and he’s not too nervous. I sent him a text last night asking if he was interested in meeting my friends and he sounded really happy about it. The real boyfriend meter, of course, is Murphy. Mike will meet Murphy after he meets the girls; after all, I don’t let just anyone meet my baby. 

In the Friend Zone

“Zeke, do you see him?” I said craning my neck.

We were in the booth watching as the audience filed into the auditorium before the start of the play. Zeke, my light booth operator, was double checking to make sure the right lights were up.

“No. You weren’t all that specific, though. A tall guy with brown hair…there’s like 25 of those just in the front row.”

“Fair enough.” I said a little crestfallen, “I have to go give the 10 minute warning to the cast, maybe I’ll see him on the way back.”

I handed Zeke my headset and climbed to the door.

I climbed out of the booth which led to the ticket office and then wandered from there into the lobby and then to the backstage area and dressing rooms. I didn’t see Mike on the way there or on the way back to the booth and I’m embarrassed about how sad I was about it. I was excited for him to see the show but I was worried that there was a problem with his ticket or that he wasn’t going to come.

I checked with the Head of House, she told me he picked up his ticket so I went back to the booth and made Zeke help me look for him until it was time to start.

The show went smoothly but I’ll admit that I was nervous. I’m not usually nervous when I call the cues for the show but knowing that Mike was there watching made me get knots in my stomach. When the house lights went up, I let out a sigh of relief as the audience filed out.

“Zeke, do your shut down stuff once the ushers are done cleaning the house. I want to get out of here early tonight.”

“Sure thing boss.” Zeke saluted me as I left the booth.

I didn’t see Mike in the lobby so I went backstage and started shutting lights off and locking doors. The cast was cleared out within 20 minutes and my crew had gotten all the props and costumes locked up by 30 minutes past curtain call. I was happy that we all had it down to a science so I could leave sooner. I put the ghost light out on stage, plugged it in, and gave Zeke the okay to shut the stage lights off.

When I went back to the lobby, I finally saw Mike. He was wearing a black button down shirt over a white t-shirt and nice dark-wash jeans.

“Hey!” I said running over to him. He pulled flowers from behind his back and I was so surprised.

“Oh, these are beautiful! Thank you.” I said.

I gave him a kiss before he proceeded to rave about the show.

“I loved everything! The lights were so cool and the projections they had on the windows? Amazing!”

He followed me as I locked up the doors and grabbed my purse.

“I’m starving,” I said, “Let’s get a cheeseburger.”

“Yes!” Mike held my hand as we left the theatre and walked to a nearby diner. We got two cheeseburger meals to go and ate in a park next to a fountain. Mike told me what he thought about the acting and the set as we ate. He was so animated about it and genuinely excited.

“I want to see it again! It was the best show I’ve ever seen.”

While we were finishing our dinner, I looked up at the sky and was instantly reminded of a less than happy memory. Sean and I were on a picnic almost two years ago, exactly, and he accused me of still having feelings for Kevin because I didn’t press charges against him after the he attacked me at work. I blinked the memory away but Mike noticed.

“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head.

“No…no…I just remembered something I have to do tomorrow. That’s all. These cheeseburgers are great, aren’t they?”

We finished up our food and then sat by the fountain and talked.

“You know, your friend Molly did an excellent job. I definitely think she was the best out of everybody-”

“Mike, I lied earlier.” I winced.

“About what?”

“About remembering to do something tomorrow.”

“Oh…You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

I turned my body toward him.

“I do want to tell you. I was…” I took a deep breath, “I was thinking about my ex boyfriend. Actually, my ex fiancé.”

“Oh.”

“We went on a picnic in a park on a night like this, too, and it just reminded me of how unhappy I was in that relationship. I lied because I…I wasn’t sure how you would react to the fact that I was thinking about my ex boyfriend while on a date with you.”

“Why did you tell me the truth?” He asked. It wasn’t accusatory, it was curiosity.

“Because…I…I didn’t like the idea of lying to you. I don’t want that for whatever it is that we have.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” He asked.

I looked Mike straight in the eye.

“Absolutely not. Our relationship was…not the healthiest for me and it took me awhile to deal with our break-up.”

I had never felt more honest about my relationship with Sean until that moment. I think the relief that washed over me was noticed by Mike, too.

“Okay.” He said and then held my hand.

“Really? You’re just going to…be okay with that?”

He laughed.

“Yeah. You were honest with me. I can see that that was a difficult thing for you to bring up and I believe you.”

I was in awe. Sean never really trusted me when we were together.  He constantly gave me the third degree but we lied to each other a lot. Having Mike’s trust was a new feeling, almost, because I never really had that with Sean.

“Here.” Mike said. He pulled out a quarter and placed it in my palm, “throw it in the fountain and make a wish.”

I looked at it and closed my eyes before tossing it in and watching it float to the bottom. I looked up at Mike and he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply.

“What did you wish for?” He asked when we pulled apart.

“For that.” I said blushing.

“Let’s go for a walk.” He said standing up and holding out his hand for me.

We walked through the park and talked and laughed. We stopped at the top of a big grassy hill.

“Faith, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I’m not seeing other people. In case you were wondering.” He said. Mike was nervous and it was adorable.

“Is that your way of asking me if I’ll be your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He said laughing.

“Well, then…I’m not seeing other people either, in case you were wondering.” I said.

Mike broke out in a big smile and kissed me again. When we pulled away he looked at the hill we were standing on top of.

“When you were a kid, did you ever roll down hills like that?”

“Um, yeah.” I said with surprise.

Mike looked around mischievously.

“I loved doing that as a kid; I bet it’s still just as much fun.”

And before I knew what was happening, Mike rolled down the hill laughing and goading me into joining him. I stood at the top of the hill and briefly thought about how insane anyone who could see us probably though we were but then I threw caution to the wind and rolled down the hill after him. I landed with a thud next to him and we ended up laying next to each other, holding hands, and looking up at the stars.

“This is a weird date.” I said laughing.

“I hope you’re having fun, though.” He said turning his head to look at me.

“I am.” I said. I leaned over and kissed him again and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. We sat up and I straddled his hips while continued to make out. His hands roved over my back and in my hair. Things were really heating up when I felt him get hard between my legs. He pulled away and blushed.

“I’m really sorry.” He said.

I slid off him and he pulled his knees up to his chest and folded his arms on his knees.

“It’s okay.” I said.

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to rush you into…anything.” He said.

“I don’t feel rushed. I’m glad that I turn you on. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed for that.” I put my hand on his arm.

He looked at me with genuine concern.

“Really, Mike, it’s okay. For what it’s worth, you turn me on, too. We’ll get to the sex part when we get to it. I don’t feel rushed at all.”

“Okay.” He said. He looked relieved.

I looked at my watch.

“It’s getting pretty late, do you want to get out of here?”

He nodded and I went to get up but he didn’t follow.

“Um…I might need another minute or two before I can get up again…”

We both laughed and I sat back down. When Mike was ready he walked me to the train stop and waited with me until my train arrived. I gave him a good night kiss and went home so incredibly happy. Mike is now officially my boyfriend and I feel so comfortable with him. He’s not judgmental about my past and he trusts me and he allows himself to be vulnerable in front of me. I’m going to introduce him to the girls as soon as they can all get together.

Magic Mondays

I went out on another date with Mike and it was really nice. He decided to cook for me at his apartment. So it was a first for both of us, it was the first time I’d been in his apartment. I stopped on the way there to pick up some wine, a dessert, and to rent a movie for us. I decided to go with a comedy rather than a romantic movie or something super dramatic. I decided to wear something low key, so I went with a pair of blue jeans and a black cotton t-shirt.

I was sort of nervous when I got to his building and waited for him to buzz me in. This was the first time I wasn’t going to be in public with him, we would be completely alone and that thought made me nervous. Not because I was afraid to be alone with him but because it seems so much more intimate than going to a restaurant with a bunch of strangers around you.

He was waiting for me when I got to his floor.

“Oh, what did you rent?” He asked.

“It’s a comedy. I thought we could watch it after dinner. And I brought some wine and chocolate chip cookies.” I held up the bottle and the grocery bag as he let me in.

Mike’s apartment is totally a guy’s apartment. His furniture is leather and dark and the whole feel of it is masculine. It’s a one bedroom apartment and his kitchen and living space are combined. He has a kitchen island/bar that separates the two areas pretty nicely.

“Something smells great.” I said.

“It’s lasagna,” he said, “my mom’s recipe. You’re…not a vegetarian are you?”

“No.” I said.

“Oh, good, cause it has meat sauce in it. If you were, it’s okay, though, because I had a back-up plan just in case.”

I giggled.

“Alright, put me to work.” I said.

Mike put me in charge of tossing the salad and prepping the garlic bread while he set the table and chilled the wine. Dinner was ready in about twenty minutes and we sat down at his dining table.

First of all, Mike is an excellent cook. I’ve never had lasagna as good as his. Second of all, Mike is great at talking. I don’t remember the last time I felt so comfortable with someone so quickly. He talked more about his family and it was nice to watch him get so excited and happy when he talked about them. He asked about my friends and how the show was going.

“I feel really bad that we only ever go out on Mondays. But my schedule is so crazy with the show and work and now searching for my next job.”

“Well, you said you didn’t have to go to work on Thursday after the show, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t I come see it on Thursday and we can go out afterward?”

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah, it doesn’t get out too late and I can help you close up and then we can go grab a burger or something.”

“Okay. I’ll reserve your ticket tomorrow so you can just stop by the ticket office on Thursday before the show, give them your name, and they’ll get you your ticket.”

“Sweet, I’ve only ever seen high school theatre productions so this should be super cool.”

Mike seemed genuinely excited and was asking me all sorts of questions about the play and what the set looked like, it was cute. We settled down on his couch to watch the movie with cookies and wine. Mike is fun to watch movies with. He laughed in all the right places. After the movie we watched some television.

“Can I ask you a question?” I said abruptly. He had his arms wrapped around me.

“Okay.”

“You seem so shy about physical stuff…why?” I blurted out. It was an awkward question and Mike laughed.

“I’m not usually; you just make me so nervous sometimes. You seem like such a lady and I feel like I’m out of your league.”

“Are you serious?” I said looking at him.

“Well…yeah.”

“Well, you can kiss me whenever you want.” I said.

“Okay….so…how about now.”

We made out for awhile but eventually I had to go back home. I’m glad Mike isn’t weird about the physical stuff for some other strange reason and that it really is just nerves. I don’t feel rushed with Mike. I want to have sex with him but I’m also just comfortable where we are right now. I’m okay if we hold off on the sex part.

Boy Talk

I had lunch with Adam today. He’s been getting a lot of freelance work writing on crime. He’s had a lot of mass shootings to write about lately.

“Doesn’t it get depressing?” I said while eating my grilled chicken salad.

“Yeah, but you cope eventually. The worst is having to interview parents of little kids that die. Those are my least favorite interviews to write.”

“Do you like freelancing? I don’t think I could do that. I need the security of knowing I will have a paycheck. Plus I hate applying for jobs and freelancing seems like that’s all you do outside of work…look for the next way to pay the bills.”

“It’s definitely not my favorite type of work. I miss the security, like you said, but I also have a level of freedom that I didn’t have before. You’ll probably freelance though, you’ll get to experience it in all its glory, too.” He said sipping his water.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, are you going to keep up the stage managing thing? Because if you are, you’ll probably end up freelancing. My understanding from friends is that freelancing is basically the foundation of booking theatre jobs.”

I was struck by what he was saying. I had really never thought much about it. I’ve been so distracted lately with dating Mike and the show and work and Murphy that I didn’t even think about what I would do once the show closes. If I want to keep stage managing I’ll need to start applying now to a bunch of different places.

“It’s great about Murphy, though.” Adam moved on.

“Yeah, it was a miracle. If I hadn’t been sent to that shelter on that day I never would have found him. It’s amazing to me that he was relatively fine and came through the whole ordeal of being in a fire, living on the streets, and then being put up for adoption only to be found by me a second time.”

“It’s a shame that they still haven’t found anything out about who set that fire. I imagine the trail is cold at this point.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve stopped looking into it altogether.”

We finished up lunch and Adam told me about this new girl he’s dating. They’ve been dating for about three months and he seems pretty happy right now. I didn’t tell him about Mike. Mostly because Mike and I are only dating right now and also…it just felt weird to tell him about it. Like I’d be rubbing it in his face that I didn’t choose him even though we both have feelings for each other.

Quick Step

I was being indecisive about my outfit for my date with Mike. We had decided on an evening date and I couldn’t figure out what to wear for it. I wanted to look sexy but I didn’t want to give away the farm and be too over the top. Eventually, I ended up borrowing a dress from Molly. It was a strapless black cocktail dress with a fuller skirt and button details down the front to make it not as dressy. The top of the bust line was inspired by a shirt collar so it was fun but sexy. I wore it with a pair of black platform pumps and silver dangly earrings. I pulled one side of my hair up to keep it out of my face (and used a silver barrette to pull in the earrings) and then curled the rest. Molly suggested a black choker but I vetoed it and decided to accessorize my neck with just a small amount of perfume.

I met Mike on a train platform near my apartment.

“So what are we doing?” I asked coming up to him. He smiled and took me in.

“I thought we’d do dinner and dancing.”

“Oooh fun!” I said taking his arm.

We talked on the train on the way to dinner. He asked me about work and how Murphy was doing and I can honestly say that it was one of the easiest conversations I’ve had with a guy in a really long time. I feel like I’ve forgotten that dates don’t have to be complicated or painful. It was just a really nice train ride. We went to a place that had tablecloths and pretty candle centerpieces.

“This is a really nice place. I’ve never been here before.”

“It’s fairly new. I thought it would be a quiet place for us to talk and get to know one another.”

We were given warm bread and butter before Mike picked out a nice wine. I ordered a five cheese tortellini dish and Mike got spinach and cheese stuffed ravioli and a pasta salad. The food was great and so was the wine but the conversation and company was so much better.

Mike and I talked about our families. He told me about his sisters.

“Sarah is the youngest; she’s a sophomore in college. Then there’s me. Claire is next; she lives in D.C with her boyfriend who’s a law student. She’s a pre-school teacher. And Maggie is the oldest. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband, Jamie, and two kids. What about your brother?”

“Oh, his name is Justin. He’s 26. He lives in New York and got back from being deployed this Christmas. He was in the Marine Corps, but he was honorably discharged a few months ago. Now he’s doing the whole actor thing there.”

“That’s cool! Is he doing theatre work or film work?”

“He’ll take anything at this point. He’s had a sort of rough year. His girlfriend broke up with him and he’s been struggling to find work. He’ll pull through, though.”

“What does he think of you working as a stage manager?” Mike asked before taking a bite of ravioli.

“He was surprised when I told him about it. I don’t think he expected me to get back into theatre after college. I was surprised myself, so I imagine he was even more surprised than I was.”

The conversation flowed all throughout dinner, there was never an awkward silence and we shared a dessert: a Neapolitan mousse.

After we left the restaurant, Mike and I headed over to a bar with hot music and cold beers. Mike is a great dancer, a little nerdy, but fun. We danced for an hour before settling down in a booth and having a beer each. It was refreshing after dancing our behinds off. Once we cooled down a bit, it was time for our date to end. Mike walked me to the train platform while holding my hand the whole time. We stood there awkwardly again. It was the only awkward moment of the date and I was disappointed that he was so nervous.

“Well…I had a really great time with you tonight.” I said rubbing his arm.

“I-I’m glad. Do…do you want to do this again sometime?”

“Yes.” I said.

“O-okay.” He said, “Why don’t you call me?”

“Okay.” I said.

Mike’s face was red and he kept looking down to avoid my eyes.

“Well, I…I should go.” He said. He gave me another hug and then left down the stairs back to the street. I leaned against a light pole and sighed. Suddenly I heard clunking on the stairs and turned around.

“Mike? Is everyth-”

“Faith, can I kiss you?”

I was so surprised but happy.

“Yes.” I smiled.

He leaned down and kissed me gently. I put my hand on his cheek and the other on his chest while his hands rested on the small of my back. Before I knew it my train was pulling into the station and we broke apart. I gave him another quick kiss and waved good-bye as the doors closed. Mike had a goofy smile on his face and waved back.

What a great night.

Marvelous Mike

I met Mike for coffee this morning. He was waiting for me outside a little bistro near Bruno’s.

“Mike?” I said approaching the tall, fit brunette standing nervously by a public mailbox.

“Faith?” He asked, his big brown eyes widening.

I nodded and smiled. We shook hands. I decided to wear myhair down and wavy, with a black and white patterned flowy top and simple blue jeans. I topped it off with a silver mod necklace and a pair of simple black and white polka-dotted flats. Mike was wearing a gray v-neck that accentuated him in all the right places and pair of dark-washed jeans. He held the door open for me when we headed inside.

I got an iced latte and he got an iced cappuccino and a giant bagel for us to share.

“Thank you for the coffee and the bagel.” I said as we sat down in a quiet window nook.

“No problem. I’m really glad you agreed to this, Faith.”

I asked Mike what it was like to work as a fireman. His dad and grandfather were both firemen and he’s been at his house for only two years. He told me about some of the guys he’s worked with and a few stories his dad told about fires before he retired. Mike is a year older than me and three sisters. I told him about my brother and about how I got Murphy. He doesn’t have a dog but they have one at his fire house. Her name is Dolly and he loves her.

“We got her when she was a puppy and I’ve been teaching her all sorts of tricks. I house broke her and made up her little bed for her. She’s a great girl.”

“What kind of dog is she?” I asked.

“A Dalmatian of course!”

We laughed. Mike has a really nice laugh, I feel like I could listen to it for hours. I was genuinely sad when I had to get to work. Mike offered to walk me the block down to Bruno’s.

“I had a really nice time.” I said stopping at the side door to Bruno’s.

“I’d…I’d like to see you again.” He blushed.

“I would love that. When are you free?”

“Well, I think it might be easier to schedule around your work than mine.”

“You’re probably right. Let’s see…Monday is my day off from both jobs, so we could do something then.”

“Monday. Okay. It’s a date.” He said. He smiled and we kind of stood there awkwardly for a few seconds.

I wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss me and was working up the courage or if he wasn’t sure if he should kiss me. I smiled to try and give him a signal but I think he just got nervous. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me but I think he chickened out and we ended up hugging. It was a nice hug but…it would have been nice to get a kiss, too. Oh, well. I’ll just really have to turn up the romance on Monday. Mike said he’d plan the date and that I shouldn’t worry. I’m really excited.

Going in Blind

I’ve been working day shifts at Bruno’s because I have the show to call cues for at night during the run and as I was leaving for the show tonight, I ran into Brad who was just arriving for his shift. Well, I ran into Brad and Angel.

I walked out through the back door and into a make out session.

“Oh!” I said awkwardly.

They broke apart and Angel smiled at me while she ran her hands up and down Brad’s arm.

“Sorry, Faith, didn’t mean to be in your way.” Brad said sliding over so I could pass by them without having to sidle next to the dumpster.

“It’s okay.” I said hitching my bag up on my shoulder and walking past.

I heard Brad mumble something and then the door to the bar close before I could feel someone’s hand on my arm. I turned around to find Brad.

“I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

I gave him a dirty look before turning on my heel and heading out of the alley.

“Come on, Faith!” He said.

I spun back around.

“I don’t know what you want from me Brad. I don’t care. Make out with your girlfriend, hump her in a movie theatre while I’m sitting right next to you, whatever.”

“She’s really into PDA.” He said trying to offer up an excuse. He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes.

“Okay?” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“I’m sorry if seeing me with someone else is hard for you. I got that vibe from our night at the movies.”

“I won’t lie, Brad, my feelings were hurt, but not because you brought Angel with you. You and Cara didn’t tell me you were bringing dates. I felt like a third wheel the whole night.”

“Oh…Cara was supposed to tell you.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t.”

There was an awkward silence.

“So…you’re okay with me dating Angel?” He asked sheepishly.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I told you to move on…and you most certainly did.”

“See, that right there! That attitude you’ve got. You clearly are not okay with it.”

I sighed with annoyance.

“Brad, did you ever think that maybe my annoyance has to do with me constantly running into you and Angel playing tonsil hockey? It’s gross. Quit it. You’re 27 years old, it’s a little late to act like a 12 year old boy, don’t you think.”

“Okay, fine. We’ll tone it down.”

“Thanks.” I said before leaving. I didn’t say good bye.

The show went fine last night and today was my day off. I ended up hanging out at home and relaxing. I was giving myself a pedicure while Murphy played with his favorite mousie toy when my eyes fell on the slip of paper on my desk Molly had given me. I penguin walked over to it (so I wouldn’t mess up my freshly painted toenails) and thought about whether or not I should call the number written on it.

“What the hell?” I said grabbing my cell phone and shrugging.

I took a deep breath and dialed it. And then I hung up after one ring. I took another deep breath and tried again. A man answered it.

“Hello?”

“Um…hi. My name is Faith, you gave my friend Molly your phone number after my apartment burned down.” I winced at what a lousy introduction that was.

“Oh…hi. I, uh, I’d given up on you ever calling me. I’m surprised you even bothered.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well, because picking up girls that you know because their home was on fire is usually not the best introduction for asking people out.”

We laughed.

“Actually, I just figured you had more stuff to think about what with your apartment burning down and your cat…” He said.

“Oh, that’s actually why I was calling. My cat was found. He’s happy and healthy and home with me. I found him a few weeks ago in a shelter.”

“Wow, lucky cat.”

“You have NO idea.” I found myself smiling, “But I wanted to thank you for trying to find him for me that night. I thought you’d want to know that he’d been found.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’m glad he was found.”

There was a somewhat awkward pause on the phone.

“My name is Mike, by the way.”

“Oh. Mine is Faith.

“Yeah…you mentioned that.”

“Oh.” I said feeling myself blush.

“How are you doing after the fire?” He asked.

“I’m doing well. I found a new apartment and I’m back on my feet now. It was a hard thing to go through, but I’m past the hardest parts, especially now that Murphy has been found.”

“I’m really glad to hear that. It’s a shame that they still haven’t found out who the arsonist was that set that fire. I’m sorry about all of your neighbors.

“Thanks.” I said somberly.

“Look, do you, uh…you wanna grab some coffee some time?” He asked.

I smiled…I could practically hear him blush through the phone as he asked.

“I’d like that.” I said.

We decided to meet for a coffee date on Thursday in the late morning. It actually took a lot longer than I expected. My work schedule is pretty hard to work around with a normal person, but Mike is a firefighter and has an even weirder schedule than I do. I’m really looking forward to this date.

Movie Madness

Tonight was the opening of the show! There was an opening party afterward. I made a brief appearance before heading to meet Brad and Cara for the movies. When I got there, there were four people instead of two.

“Hey guys.”  I said walking up to them.

“Oh, good, you’re here! Let’s grab our tickets.” Cara said grabbing my hand.

“Cara, calm down, we have 30 minutes before it starts.” Brad said laughing, “Faith, that’s Cara’s boyfriend, Liam, and this is Angel, my girlfriend.”

“Wha-uh-oh.” I said feeling like the loneliest person in the world and quite possibly the biggest third wheel ever. I shook Liam’s and Angel’s hands before Cara dragged me to the ticket booth.

Liam is a young twenty-something guy with short brown hair. He’s about four inches taller than Cara and was wearing a brown suede jacket, light jeans, and a batman t-shirt. Angel had long black hair, really pale make-up, and was dressed all in black. Her lipstick was black and her eye makeup was all black, too. She had a nose ring, a lip ring, and safety pin going through her industrial piercing on her right ear. She was wearing huge black platform shoes that laced up all the way to her knees with skull-patterned laces. I wasn’t surprised that Brad would date someone like that, he’s into the alternative scene and also dresses in primarily black things. I wasn’t as shocked by her appearance at the PDA they were sporting. I glanced at Liam while Brad and Angel basically tried to swallow each other, he was visibly uncomfortable.

“You could have told me you guys were bringing…people.” I said when Cara and I reached the ticket kiosk.

“What? I thought Brad told you...or maybe I was supposed to…whatever! You’re here now, so let’s grab some popcorn!”

I tried to pretend like I was happy and excited about the movie but it would be a big fat lie to say I wasn’t hurt a little bit (or a lot, really).

I ended up sitting next to Brad and Angel in the theatre and that was…uncomfortable. They made out the entire movie and the slurping sounds made me lose my appetite for my overpriced popcorn. At one point Brad kept bumping into me because of how forcefully Angel was pushing herself onto him. I couldn’t wait until the movie was over so I could leave.

When the credits finally rolled up, we all walked out as a group.

“That was a great movie!” Cara said.

“Yeah, it was.” Brad said.

I had to stifle a derisive snort. I’m surprised Brad even knew the name of the movie considering how absorbed he was with Angel the entire time. When I got home, Molly noticed that I was annoyed.

“What’s up? What happened?” She asked as Murphy came running to me.

I picked him up and then plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Cara and Brad brought dates.” I said glumly while I stroked Murphy.

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. They didn’t tell me so I was the third wheel the whole time. And you were right, Brad has a new girlfriend.”

“Are you okay?” She said gently.

“You know…I am. I really am. I’ve seen Brad in a new light and I didn’t like it. At all. I think tonight was just what I needed to get over whatever it is that we had. I hope he and Angel are very happy.”

“Angel?”

“Yeah.”

“Well that’s fitting, kind of.”

“What? Why?”

“Because isn’t Angel an old television character who was a vampire? She kind of looks like one, so…”

“Molly that’s a terrible thing to say…Even if it is true.” I smiled.

“That’s my girl.” She said giving me hug.

“From now on, I only want to go to the movies with my girls.” I said.

“Understandable. We’d at least tell you if we were bringing dates.”

“You know, I felt really lonely at first but then I realized that there was no reason for me to feel lonely. Sure, I didn’t have a date to make out with throughout the whole movie but I was with two of my friends. So that’s one thing to keep it all in perspective.”

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“Who would you have brought if they’d told you to bring someone?”

“You, duh. Maybe Adam, I know he’s a fan of Batman.”

That was a lie, though. I was already with the person I would have brought. The problem was that he brought someone else. But I am really over him now.

Spotted!

It’s currently tech week with the show. Production has actually gone somewhat smoothly up to this point. Tucker cancelled a rehearsal because he was hung over last week and one time he showed up an hour late but I think, overall, I’ve kept him under control. But tech week is a lot more stressful than rehearsals. Each rehearsal during tech week is so long and it’s super tedious because we have to go through every cue of the show. It’s really all for my benefit since I call the cues and this is the only time during the entire process that I really get to practice calling them. Thankfully, though, the set is really simple, there are no moving pieces to worry about. I do have two projection screens, though, so I have special cues for the images that come up on those in addition to lights, sound, and actor cues.

I met with my run crew (the people who work behind stage), light board operator, and sound board operator. I gave them a breakdown I made assigning them each to their jobs before posting a schedule for the day. I already had all the cues written on my script from paper tech the day before, so I was ready.

I think the first day went really well. I feel really good about my cue calling and my crew is GREAT and the actors were all really professional. I did notice that people were getting tired as the day went on, so I appreciate that they didn’t let that affect their professionalism. Molly waited for me as I locked everything up and went through my check-ins for the night (make sure all the props are still there, all the doors are locked, costumes have been stored, etc.). We went home but stopped and grabbed some burgers on the way.

We both practically collapsed on the couch with our food. Murphy came running and sat on my knees while I inhaled my fries. He’s been very clingy (understandable) since I brought him home.

“How’s Brad?” Molly asked.

“I think he’s good. Things at work are more civil than ever and I think he’s moved on. I sent him and Cara texts to see if they wanted to go see the new Batman movie. We’re all going to see a midnight showing of it on opening night after the show ends. They’ll be getting off work and I’ll be done closing everything down so we’d figure we’d go. I’m on days now, except for weekends so I won’t see him as much. Why do you ask?”

“I saw him the other day.”

“Where?”

“I was at the fabric store picking up some last minute trims for the show and he was at an outdoor café across the street.”

Molly had met Brad while visiting me at work once. He’s actually met all of my friends except Anna and Adam.

“Okay.”

“Faith…he was with someone.”

“So? We aren’t dating, Molly. Why should I care who he sees outside of work?”

She shrugged, “Okay then.”

I couldn’t help my curiosity, though.

“How do you know he was on a date?” I asked looking at her sideways.

“Um, his face was practically glued to hers until their waiter came to take their order.”

“What did she…how did she look?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

“You are SO jealous!” Molly said.

“I am not, I’m just curious. Seriously, what was I supposed to ask when you bring something like this up!?”

“Okay, fine, sorry! Let’s just watch yesterday’s Project Runway and eat.”

“Fine.” I said grabbing my burger.

Later, I was laying in bed with Murphy curled into a furry purring ball next to me and I couldn’t stop thinking about Brad being on a date with someone. I know I asked him to move on but I guess I just thought it would take him longer. But it’s been two months since we had that talk…I have no right to feel jealous but at the same time, it’s weird that Brad hasn’t said anything about it at work. I imagine he decided not to because of our history. I’m kind of hurt that he wouldn’t share that with me even though it’s stupid for me to feel that way. I keep finding myself hoping that Molly was just confused and it was someone else she saw.

Treasure Hunt

I have been so incredibly busy, lately with work and volunteering and my classes! Yesterday was a very emotional day.

I volunteered at the shelter yesterday. I walked into the front office to get a leash so I could walk Sarah the pit bull when I heard Nancy hang up the phone and sigh.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Another volunteer quit at our smaller shelter in the city. They’re already understaffed and I don’t know what we’re going to do about it.”

“Well, I could volunteer there for awhile if you’re willing to spare me. It’s closer to home, so it really wouldn’t be an imposition. I could even keep coming here in addition to the city shelter.” I said shrugging.

“Would you really want to do that? It would be helping us tremendously but I don’t want you to feel obligated, you already do a lot here.”

“Are you kidding? I love volunteering here, sign me up!”

Nancy had Doc drive me over there right away. The city’s shelter just got a huge influx of dogs that were seized from a dog fighting ring and really needed help. I tried to do what I could: made beds for the dogs that passed health screens, filled up food and water bowls, helped give some of the dogs baths, etc. By the end of my shift, I was exhausted. I went to the front desk and grabbed my purse and bag before heading out to rehearsal. As I was leaving, I had to walk past some of the animals up for adoption and I stopped cold. There was a cat meowing at me. I did a double take and thought I was seeing things.

It was Murphy!

I ran to the glass and put my hand against it. His eyes were huge and he started spinning in circles and rubbing against the glass. I went to the front desk as fast as I could.

“My cat is here!” I said.

“What?” The lady at the counter said.

“You have my cat here, he’s up for adoption and I want him.”

“Oh, that’s so nice! Usually our volunteers try to avoid the adopting animals because they already have so many. It’s so great that you’ve found a pet you want.”

“No, you don’t understand.” I said getting frustrated, “Murphy is my cat. I owned him before. I thought he died in an apartment fire. He’s been missing for months and he’s here!”

The woman just stared at me like I was crazy.

“Come here, I’ll show you, he knows it’s me!” I went down to his kennel and he was pawing at the glass trying to get out.

“If you’d like to adopt Oscar you’ll have to pay a fee.”

“Oscar?” I said crinkling my nose, “Do you have access to humane society records?”

“Yes.”

“Look me up. You’ll see I adopted him. There’s bound to be a description or even a picture of the cat I adopted, I KNOW it’s him.”

She sighed and walked back to the front desk and sat down at a computer. I gave her my information.

“Well, it shows that you adopted a cat but they failed to include a picture, so there’s no way for me to confirm that that’s the cat you adopted. You’ll have to pay the adoption fee. I can’t just GIVE you a cat because you claim he used to be yours and you lost him.”

“I didn’t LOSE him! My apartment burned down and he disappeared. I thought he DIED!”

“Well, our records show that he doesn’t have a microchip implant, if you had actually adopted him, he’d have one with the humane society’s information about your address.”

“That’s because it was taken out of him.”

She looked at me like I was trying to convince her that the moon landing was a hoax.

“You know what? Fine!” I said.

I was so angry and sick of arguing with this woman. I whipped out my check card and handed it to her fuming. And maybe I was just taking it personally, but she seemed to be taking an unnecessarily long time with the paperwork.

“While you handle all of that can I at least SEE him?” I said waspishly.

She gave me a dirty look before letting me into a very small room with a bench in it. I sat down and she shut the door. A few seconds later she returned with a squirming Murphy in her arms. He practically jumped away from her to get into my lap and immediately started purring. I started sobbing immediately.

“I missed you SO MUCH!” I said holding him to me and crying into his fur, “Mommy loves you!”

Murphy is pretty thin. And he has a cut on his front leg that seems to have healed a long time ago. I called Zoey while the woman finished up with my paperwork.

“Oh my God, what is wrong!?” Zoey asked when she answered the phone and heard me sobbing.

“I found….Murphy!” I cried. I told her where I was and asked her to pick us up so I could get him home before I had to go to work and she was on her way within seconds of hanging up.

Finally, my paperwork went through and I was given a cardboard kennel for Murphy. I waited for Zoey outside the shelter and we stopped at a pet store to buy Murphy a litter box, food, a new bed, and some toys (of course). When I got him home, I immediately had to leave to get to work and all through rehearsal I kept thinking about getting home to him.

I still can’t believe I found him and that he’s here with me right now, sitting next to me while I type this up. It’s so surreal to have him back home with me again.

New Phase

I just finished my first week of rehearsal with the cast. Molly plays Amanda, the mother. The rest of the cast I had never met before. Laura, the daughter, is played by a young woman named Francine while Tom, the main character, is played by a (pretty hot) guy named Marshall. The Gentleman Caller is played by a guy named Rudy. Overall, my cast is friendly and I think working with them will be smooth.

I have a production meeting tomorrow where I will meet all of the designers for the first time. Molly is the assistant costume designer so she’ll be there which will be nice. At least I’ll know someone besides Tucker and Eddie. I feel prepared for it so I’m not too worried.

Volunteering at the shelter is going well and so are my classes. Working at Bruno’s has gotten to be better with regard to me and Brad. I think he’s started moving on, which is a good thing. I talked to Bruno and told him about my new job as a stage manager and let him know that during our performance season, I’ll have to change my shift to be day time since our shows are on at night. Weekends will be really tricky. I think I’ll have to work in the afternoon and then come back after the 7:30 performances are done. Bruno is being pretty flexible about it so I’m incredibly lucky in that regard.

My stipend for the show was deposited into my savings account a few days ago and it was a weird feeling to have my savings account contain more than $100 for the first time in months. I, of course, had to budget it out to pay for rent, bills, and student loan payments, but I still have some left which is nice. I might take myself shopping once the show is done to reward myself, especially since I haven’t been shopping for a really long time…at least not for fun. The last time I went shopping for clothes was when Zoey took me to buy underwear and socks right after the fire. Most of the clothes in my closet are things the girls gave/bought me. They have good taste, but it would feel GREAT to reward myself with a sexy little dress or a big comfy sweater from closing my first theatre show. We open on July 26^th and close on September 9^th. 

Tucker

I met with Tucker and I can certainly see why he’s difficult to work with, and I can’t honestly say I’m thrilled to be working with him. We met at a café nearby Eddie’s theatre. I introduced myself and then grabbed an iced coffee and a muffin before coming back to our table to get down to business.

Tucker was wearing fake thick-rimmed hipster glasses, a plaid vest over a shabby blue t-shirt, and a pair of gunmetal gray jeans. He has a beard and mousey brown hair. I was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple black t-shirt and my hair was up in a simple pony tail. I decided to ask Tucker some questions to get a better understanding of his directing style and expectations of me as his stage manager.

“Do you prefer to take a five minute break every 55 minutes or a ten minute break every 80 minutes?”

“I don’t really allow breaks.”

“Really? Because Eddie told me that even though we aren’t a union-affiliated theatre, we’re supposed to be following union rules and those break times are fairly standard.”

“Well, Eddie doesn’t have to know.” He said whipping out his iPhone to text something.

“Actually, he does. I have to send him a rehearsal report at the end of every rehearsal so that he can be kept in the loop. He IS one of the producers and the owner of the theatre so it’s necessary that he receives my reports and he’ll be looking to see that we’re following union rules. Eddie wants his theatre to be classified as a union house soon and it’s important that we apply union rules for him to get that classification.”

I noticed that Tucker wasn’t paying attention. Or texting. He was staring at my chest. I cleared my throat and he looked up.

“Fine, whatever. Every 80 minutes, I guess.” He said looking at his phone again.

“We’ll also need to assign one day a week as a dark day where we don’t have any rehearsals or shows. When we switch to performances, our dark day will be Monday, but for the rehearsal period, it can be whatever day you’d like. The previous stage manager hasn’t been returning any of my attempts to contact her for the existing schedule so I think I’m going to have to make one. Which day would you prefer?”

“We didn’t have a schedule.”

“How is that even possible?” I said getting frustrated at Tucker’s lack of cooperation.

“I would decide whether or not I wanted to have rehearsal and all of the cast was on call.”

He then resumed looking at my chest, which, I want to point out was not on display. I was wearing a t-shirt. At this point I decided to cut the crap.

“Hey,” I snapped my fingers at him, “Eyes up here, Tucker. This is how this is going to go: I’m going to make a schedule and give you the opportunity to approve it, then I will have Eddie approve it and we will start giving the cast an actual schedule to follow. We will follow union rules. And you will STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBS.”

Tucker looked up at me again and leaned forward.

“I like a woman who takes charge.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

“Never gonna happen.” I said sitting back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest.

“You wouldn’t regret it. I’m an excellent ride.” He said winking at me.

“Oh, I seriously doubt that. Can we please just keep things professional? You lost your fist stage manager because you were dating and things ended badly, so let’s just avoid repeating that particular event.”

“Fine, but only because the integrity of my show is more important than you tempting me away from my artistry.”

I rolled my eyes and got back to business. Within an hour we hammered out a schedule and I e-mailed it to Eddie for approval. He got back to me in five minutes saying it looked great. I really have my work cut out for me with this show when it comes to dealing with Tucker. What a skeeze.

One Giant Leap...

I had my career changer class last night. We mostly worked on how to sell yourself in an interview using your previous career’s experiences and applying it to a hypothetical new career path. We did mock interviews for the majority of the class with Sue correcting us as we went. I felt kind of silly but I learned a few really helpful tips.

As everyone was gathering their things to leave, Sue passed around a sign-up sheet for our private consults. I signed up for a time and then approached her.

“Sue?”

She turned around from packing her briefcase.

“Yes, Faith?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about something for a minute…”

“Okay. Go for it.”

“I’ve been offered a work opportunity that could lead to a career but I really just need some advice.”

“What field is it in?”

“It’s in theatre. I would be a stage manager.”

“And you used to work in HR, right?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of advice are you looking for?”

“Well…whether or not I should take it.”

We laughed.

“Hmmm. Theatre is a risky career choice. There’s so much competition and the pay isn’t as great or as stable as pretty much any other job. But, if you take this opportunity, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to commit to it as a new career choice. I’d say go for it. Opportunities like this don’t come around that often, especially for professional theatre spots. If you don’t like it, take your paycheck and look for something else, I say.”

I thanked her and thought about what she said on my short walk home. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of taking the stage management job for the past two days. When I got home, I plopped down next to Molly.

“Hey, how did your class go?” She asked.

“I think you should give me Eddie’s number.” I said.

“REALLY!?”

“Yeah, but I have a feeling I’m going to regret this somehow.” I sighed as Molly ran to get her phone.

I spoke with Eddie for about 25 minutes and e-mailed him my resume. He hired me after a short phone interview and then gave me all the details. I start tomorrow. I’ve spent most of the day being e-mailed all sorts of documents and phone numbers and calendars for the production. The show is The Glass Menagerie. The director’s name is Tucker and I’m going to meet him for lunch later today, here’s hoping I don’t immediately regret this.