Brad's a Bust

The show finally closed but Ed has not offered me another job like I thought he would.

He talked to me about it and said it had nothing to do with my work performance but that the summer show is always done by the interns who apply for their intern program so there just isn’t a position for me available. He did say that the fall show was still up in the air and that he’d get back to me about availability closer to when more information would be available.

I’m kind of bummed, but somewhat relieved since it’ll give me a much needed break. It also means I won’t be making as much money but I will be able to add more hours at Bruno’s to try and make up the difference, so I at least have that going for me. I was being mopey about not being able to work the summer show for the theatre and Brad noticed.

“What is wrong with you?” He asked.

We were sitting on his couch and he was trying to come on to me for sex but I wasn’t into it.

“Is it the theatre thing? Still?”

I didn’t like his tone. It implied that I was being unreasonable for being sad for a few hours. I gave him a dirty look.

“Faith, it’s not like you’ll never work there again. Plus you deserve the break.” He started kissing my neck again.

“I know, I just…”

“What?” He stopped and looked at me with a tinge of annoyance.

“You know, you aren’t being very supportive right now.” I said, “Could it be any clearer that I would rather talk about this than fall into bed with you right now? I would think that you would jump at the chance for this considering how often you nag me for never opening up to you and letting you be my boyfriend.”

Brad moved himself off of me and sat upright.

“Go on…” He said with a flippant hand motion.

“I just…I feel bummed because Bruno’s is what I do to pay the bills, Brad, I don’t want that to be my career, I don’t want to be there forever, so not being able to do the job I want to do, even just temporarily makes me kind of sad.”

“But you’ve done nothing but complain about how stressful work has been.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, but that’s because I’m basically working two full-time jobs, one of which was never meant to be that.” I said referring to Bruno’s, “It’s stressful because I feel like I was tricked into taking more hours at Bruno’s when I never wanted that. Things wouldn’t have been nearly as stressful for me if Bruno had done what he’d promised and found someone to permanently take your position.”

“Okay, then why don’t you look for a stage managing job for the summer?”

“Because by this point they’ve all been filled. I was really relying on Ed continuing with me for the summer. I had no idea we even had an intern program through the theatre.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Faith,” Brad said putting his hands behind his head and putting his legs on the coffee table, “You’ll just have to get over it. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Gee, thanks for the support.” I said flatly.

Brad shrugged and I got really mad. This was the first time since we’d started dating where I actively sought his support and he was freaking blowing it.

“You know…I think I’m going to go home.” I said grabbing my purse and going to leave.

“What? Why!?” Brad said getting up and following me to the door.

“Because honestly? The absolute LAST thing I want to do with you right now is have sex. I don’t understand what this attitude is.” I said motioning to him.

Brad shrugged defensively.

“Faith, I just don’t see what the point of worrying or being sad about something you can’t really change is. Why put the energy into it?”

“Because I’m allowed to feel my feelings, Brad! If you don’t want to hear about them, then I’ll go home and talk to Molly who will be more sympathetic since she actually understands, and more importantly, CARES, about what I’m going through right now!”

“Oh, come on Faith!” Brad exclaimed with annoyance, “I just listened to you. What more do you want!? Let me take your mind off it.”

He said swooping in to kiss me. I pushed him off of me angrily.

“SERIOUSLY!?”

I was appalled.

“Faith, I’ll be your shoulder to cry on but I don’t like seeing you sad, so just let me make you happy.”

Brad started kissing my neck and pushed me up against the door. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away again.

“Did you even listen to me or did you just count down the minutes saying what you thought I wanted to hear until you could get laid?” I asked.

Brad scoffed.

“Do you seriously think I OWE you sex because you listened to me talk about something that is very important to me for two damn minutes? Is listening to me THAT big of a chore for you when sex isn't guaranteed?”

“You are being so unreasonable!” Brad said.

“Do you even love me?” I asked quietly.

“What!? Why would you even ask that! Of course I do!”

“It doesn’t feel like it when you pressure me into having sex or try to distract me with it. It feels like you see me as an object! Do you even realize how that makes me feel?”

Brad scoffed again.

“I’m going home.”

I slammed the door as I left.

I’m seething with anger as I type this. I just can’t believe how Brad acted! I opened up to him and made myself a little vulnerable for the first time since we started dating and he could barely muster the energy to listen to me talk! What the HELL!?

Do you guys think I was being unreasonable?