I have my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. And I told Molly a
few days ago.
Really, I had to. She had noticed that I was more subdued
and eventually it came out when she walked in on me crying in my bed.
“Hey, Faith, can I borrow y-”
I tried to hide my face but it was too late.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
She sat down on my bed and looked at me with so much
concern.
“I…I’m pregnant.” I felt so much relief by telling someone. It was like my chest was being held in a vice and telling her made it so I could finally breathe again.
Molly’s eyes got huge and she covered her mouth. I sobbed
into my knees. She put her hand on my back and rubbed it. After awhile she came
back and gave me a cup of tea.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head.
“Okay, well when you do…”
I nodded and she left me alone.
The next day I sat down next to her on the couch where she
was reading a magazine.
“I’m ready to talk about it.” I said hoarsely.
She put her magazine down and listened.
“I’ve known for a couple days. I don’t understand how this
happened. I take my birth control on time and rarely miss a day. I don’t know
how this happened. I was being responsible about sex. Brad even used condoms
most of the time.”
“Does Brad know?”
I nodded sadly.
“What did he say when you told him?”
“He was there when the test came back and he was ecstatic.
He started planning for it almost immediately. I still can’t believe how he
reacted.”
“Do you know what you want to do?”
“I think so.”
She nodded.
“Are we going to keep the pregnancy or are we going to exercise our
legal right to choose?”
I looked at her sadly.
“Have you told Brad?”
I shook my head.
“Are you going to tell him?”
“…I’ve already called a clinic. Once the doctor confirms how
far along I am they can write me a referral there…”
“I’ll drive you.” She said quietly.
She held my hand when I started to cry again.
“Please don’t tell Anna or Zoey.” I whimpered, “I don’t want
anyone else to know.”
She pulled me in for a hug and patted my hair as she rocked
back and forth.
“I won’t. It’ll be okay, Faith. You’ll get through this.”
Im still hoping that it is a false pregnancy and that this really is just a HUGE wakeup call.. Here's hoping! :(
ReplyDeleteThis is really depressing, but either way BRAD HAS GOT TO GO!
-cm
Really? I fully support our legal right to choose, but no one in her right mind describes it that way to a terrified pregnant friend. (In part because "exercising your legal right to choose" could refer to either choice.)
ReplyDeleteWhich raises the question, what is the appropriate way to discuss those options with a friend?
Why does the "legal right to choose" always mean abortion? Why could it not mean adoption...That is a legal right to choose as well.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I wouldn't go through a pregnancy if I wasn't going to end up being the parent. There's so much more to pregnancy and what a person's body goes through while pregnant, that unless it was going to end up being mine (and I wanted it of course) I wouldn't go through a pregnancy for any other reason. Not to mention that going through childbirth is 14 times more fatal than getting an abortion is. I wouldn't be willing to put myself at that higher of a risk for a kid I never wanted and won't even end up taking care of. It's just not worth it, for me.
DeleteAnd I don't see it being worth it for Faith, either. Most women who choose adoption actually end up deciding to keep the baby afterward, Faith would be no different and she's not in a position, financially, emotionally, etc. to take care of one.
And, then, of course, there's Brad. I don't see Brad agreeing to give it up for adoption even if Faith wanted that; his parental rights don't suddenly disappear if she chooses to go the adoption route and he could ruin any attempt at finding an adoptive couple she could make. He was planning out their lives together the second he saw the result of the pregnancy test. Brad would NEVER let Faith adopt out that kid, it's the only thing he has that would force Faith to, at the very least, be present in his life for a significant period of time, which is why I think he was so excited about it in the first place.
I also don't think Faith ignored adoption. It's clear from this post that she's spent time since the positive result thinking about what she wants to do. I'm sure adoption crossed her mind but she ultimately decided against it in the end. The reason I believe that is because she decided, ultimately, to not keep the pregnancy. If she was willing to be pregnant, maybe she would have chosen adoption, but she's not (based on her decision). And there's really only one option when you don't want to be pregnant anymore.
I, honestly, think this decision of Faith's is one of the more mature ones she's made in the past two years. It takes a lot of maturity to acknowledge that you cannot take care of a child for a number of reasons and I think giving it up for adoption would either destroy who Faith is at her very core or not be something she could bring herself to do and then she's stuck with a child she was utterly unprepared for on a number of different levels.
Also, it's unclear if Faith even wants kids at this point, let alone ever. If I was on the fence about having kids, I don't know that I'd want to go through a pregnancy to try and figure it out.
Agreed. People throw out adoption like it's just that simple. If Brad won't sever paternity Faith will be left raising the child. Until this country makes fathers just as accountable for their children as mothers, women will continue to have their hands tied. Forced to raise a child they aren't ready for, by a man who won't give up paternity rights and yet will not be forced by the courts to be financially responsible for the child. Brad has already proved he can barely function as a boyfriend, let alone a father. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into that trainwreck.
DeleteWhen Molly said keeping the pregnancy that pretty much covers keeping the baby OR adoption, so wording it as option to choose covers her last choice as a woman, abortion. I think in Faith's situation this is the best decision for her. And honestly? I think Molly worded that question just fine. Abortion is so stigmatized in this country, I like that Molly worded it in a supportive and nonjudgemental way.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. The way she worded the question implies ALL of Faith's choices. Not just two. And the fact that she wasn't judgmental of Faith really shows just how great of a friendship they have. Faith has messed up but she's made a tough decision, and I think it was the best one for her.
DeleteThank you. It seems like whenever I read a story about an unwanted pregnancy, they always keep it. Or if they had an abortion, it was under duress or forced upon them by an angry parent or someone else. It seems like most stories don't focus on what is right FOR THAT PERSON. Yes, I understand that Faith is fictional, but it's refreshing to read a story where the woman makes her OWN decision. It's a choice that women make every day and shouldn't have such a stigma attached to it. And I like that most of the comments (so far) have been positive and in support of her choice. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI am glad Faith told Molly. She needed to tell someone other than Brad. I am still having a hard time feeling sorry for her though.
ReplyDeleteI hope we get a post soon where Faith takes responsibility and acknowledges that she needs to step up and take control of her own life like a big girl.
I guess we will see.
You know, I don't really think we're SUPPOSED to feel sorry for Faith. And the reason I think that is because no one else in the story really seems to feel sorry for her, they just sort of accept that she makes bad choices.
DeleteLook at Molly. Molly doesn't really feel sorry for Faith, she's told Faith her opinion about her situation and she's given Faith pretty harsh advice in the past. Even now, she's not coddling Faith, she's being realistic about the gravity of what's going on and not sugar coating it.
And even in how Del writes the story, it's not that sympathetic to Faith, really. It seems to me that the only person who feels sorry for Faith is Faith. It's a pity party of one.
I think we're supposed to understand that Faith has had a lot happen to her, but the way I've read this blog and the way I've interpreted it is that just because she's had a lot of stuff happen to her doesn't mean she isn't responsible for how she decided to behave in light of it all.
I want to expand on this a little more.
DeleteFaith can't control the terrible things that have happened to her, like her boyfriend cheating on her or Kevin turning into an utter nightmare, but she CAN control how she reacts to the thins that happen. And THAT is where her responsibility lies. She definitely could have dealt with so much of what's happened to her by making better, healthier choices, no doubt. But she couldn't control the actions of others. She can only control herself and how she responds in a crisis.
And, I actually really like the turn this story line has taken because Faith is experiencing something that only SHE can really control here. It is up to her to decide what's best for her. This crisis is unique because, while it's unexpected, it really gives Faith an opportunity to assess her life, how it got to this point, and it also increases the stakes.
This crisis is a very sad one to watch play out, but I think Faith needed this to really wake her up and make her realize just how destructive her choices can be, because before this happened I think Faith knew she wasn't making the best of choices but I think it's obvious that she really wasn't thinking about just how severe the consequences could, truly, be. Now she's in a situation where the actions of whatever choice she makes IS going to have severe consequences, whether that be that she raises child with a man she does not love or even really care about or that she goes through the pain of giving a kid up for adoption or if she gets an abortion.
I like this plot line, even though it's sad, because no matter what Faith chooses, she has no choice but to come to terms with the choices she's made that got her here and make a decision that is going to significantly change her life and how she lives it from that point forward.
Well put; agree completely. Del is writing this very realistically where Faith's position is concerned. Brad's character is another story, but this issue and Faith herself are being handled fairly and true-to-life.
DeleteThinking about it I don't want the baby to be Mike's. That would mean everything is magically fixed for Faith.
ReplyDeleteI want her to go through this situation and fight her way out of it so it finally gets through to her that she needs to stop playing these games and take responsibility of her life.
My thoughts also.
Deleteheavy stuff.
ReplyDeletesometimes u gotta hit the rock bottom before u can get back up.
hopefully she handles her business, does whats BEST for Her, and gives herself a fresh start WITHOUT Brad.
i'm 23 and i've never been pregnant, but i cant imagine the emotional toll this is goig to take on our friend Faith.
yikes. big pill to swallow.
So true. It's impossible to imagine the huge emotional and physical impact the whole process of being pregnant - let alone giving birth - has on a woman until you've experienced it...*especially* the emotional component.
DeleteDon't envy Faith's position at all; tough, tough place to be in. I also think it's noteworthy that she DID behave responsibly in at least her birth control attempts. She took her pill as directed, and Brad almost always wore condoms (should have worn them *every* time for their mutual health protection, but that's a different issue). So, it's not as if she was taking stupid chances with getting pregnant by not using birth control.
This is a very emotional issue for most women, and many, many men (the issue of abortion); it goes to the very center of some of our deepest beliefs about Life itself. No matter where a person lands on this subject, ("pro-choice", "pro-life", somewhere in the middle with qualifiers and specific circumstances)...being defensive and judgmental about this topic is backward and unproductive. *Everybody* has a right to a well-thought-out, intelligent & informed, sincere and passionate opinion/feeling about this issue, regardless of where that position falls in the spectrum of choices. There's no real enemies here to rant against (in a general, big-picture sense)...and that includes men. Child-bearing and raising will ALWAYS be a very different experience for women and men - dictated by physiology and the very fact that it's the female who takes on the very personal and up-close function of pregnancy. Good men do take responsibility in the appropriate way (whether they're in a relationship with the mother or not), and for the right reasons. In my experience, the average man cares about this issue deeply, and is capable of great love and huge sacrifice for his child/children. Society and our legal system are steadily (admittedly it seems like a snail's pace, but it's happening) moving toward positioning unwilling men in a more accountable place. It's not perfect, but nothing ever is; real change doesn't usually happen easily or quickly. There are also scores of irresponsible women out there who shouldn't be parents who are (like men), and also ones who repeatedly use abortion as birth control and don't learn from experience. There will always be people of *both* genders who seem unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, won't learn from mistakes, and don't question the deeper meaning of Life. Maybe they're just not equipped (mentally, emotionally) to seriously think about these issues (translation: they're basically kind of stupid)? I don't know; that one's a puzzler.
But all that's a separate issue from this situation of Faith's and Brad's. We know that, for Faith's part at least, there hasn't been negligence in dealing with the issue of birth control. It just failed; nobody's "fault." I do read her character as markedly maternal - *very* nurturing and protective. So, regardless of the logical "rightness" of her decision mentally, there will be significant emotional impact as well; there's just no getting around that. It may not fully happen until she eventually does have children, but she'll revisit this experience at some point(s) in her life. And, Faith has mentioned in the past that she wants kids someday.
I am really glad Faith made this decision - it is a hard place to be in, and a scary one. I really feel like she should talk to Brad about it, though. And I hope when she does (whenever that is, I mean she'll have to eventually), she's honest. She should talk to Anna and Zoey too - the more support the better!
ReplyDeleteabortion sounds like the best choice faith can take right now, considering her situation. but i'm really scared of how Brad would react when he found out. this is not gonna be pretty..
ReplyDeletethis story is getting soo good.. good work Del!
If she tells him prior to having it done, I have a feeling he'll try to stop her. It's too bad that he knows she's pregnant. I normally wouldn't say that, but he's not completely rational.
ReplyDelete