Woe is Zoe

“It’s weird.” I said over brunch, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in a relationship before.”

“That’s what being in a healthy relationship feels like.” Anna joked.

“Yeah.” Molly said.

“How would you know,” Zoey joked, “Aren’t you still doing whatever it is that you’re doing with Calvin?”

“That’s not a relationship so it doesn’t have to be healthy.” Molly said.

“I’d really like to go bowling with you guys next weekend. Are you free?” I asked.

They all looked up their schedules on their phones and nodded.

“Why don’t you bring Mike along?” Anna asked.

“I won’t subject you guys to how disgusting we are right now. I would hate me if I had to watch us from an outsider's perspective.” I laughed, “You know, Mike and I never really had one of those honeymoon periods right at the beginning of our relationship so maybe this is just a phase and it’s going to get bad soon.”

“Faith, stop. You are in a healthy and happy relationship. Let yourself enjoy it and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Zoey said sternly.

“You’re right. I’m being stupid. How are you and Wesley doing?”

“We’re…fine.” She said.

“What’s going on?” Molly asked as the waiter brought our food (I got scrambled eggs with toast, Anna got waffles with fresh berries, Molly got a hash brown skillet, and Zoey got maple oatmeal with a bagel).

Zoey waited until the waiter left and then tried to change the subject.

“I really love this place, they have great food.”

“Mmmyeah, what’s the deal?” I said refusing to let her off the hook.

“It’s nothing guys, it’s just…” Zoey looked at the three of us, “I think Wesley is going to ask me to marry him.”

The three of us gave her a blank stare.

“Shouldn’t that be something you’re excited about?” Anna asked.

Zoey looked at us and her eyes welled up with tears.

“Zoey, what is the problem?”

“I just don’t…I don’t think I WANT to get married. And I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to get married ever or if I just don’t want to get married to Wesley.”

“Oh…” the three of us said together. We exchanged glances.

“Well, first, what makes you think he’s going to ask you to marry him?” Anna asked.

“He’s been talking a lot about the future…kids, owning a house, getting a joint checking account with me…I think he’s going to ask me while we’re at his parents’ house over Christmas. And I’m afraid that I’ll say no and what kind of horrible person would do that in front of their boyfriend’s parents and family?”

The three of us weren’t sure what to say.

“Zoey, you should probably talk to Wesley about this. It doesn’t sound like you’re on the same page.” Molly said.

“I know I should but what if he wants to call things off right before we’re supposed to go to Australia and hang out with his family for two weeks?”

“Don’t go.” I said, “Duh.”

“It’s not an easy conversation to have.” Anna said, “But you need to talk to him about what you’re feeling and the doubt you have about everything or it’s just going to get worse.”

“You’ve been together for almost two and a half years, Zoe. You live together! If you can’t talk to him about your feelings at this point, you probably NEED to have that conversation.” Molly said.

I nodded. I feel bad for Zoey. She’s been with Wesley for a long time and I don’t really know how to help her through this. It would be scary to be with someone for that long and not know if they’re who you really want to be with. But I can’t tell if Zoey’s just scared or if their relationship isn’t as strong as I thought it was.