Avoidance

I showered, fed Murphy, and then headed over to Mike’s place to wait for him. On the way, I stopped and bought a bottle of whiskey. I hadn’t slept since the Adam woke me up the day before and I felt the exhaustion crash over me as I collapsed on Mike’s couch. My eyes closed for what felt like five minutes but when I woke up it was dark out and the sound of Mike opening the door woke me up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes as he sat next to me.

He didn’t say anything. I grabbed a glass that was sitting on the coffee table and poured the whiskey in it. He took it and drank it, then held it out. I filled it. He drank it all and held it out again. I took the glass out of his hand and pulled him to me. His head was against my chest as he started crying. I stroked his hair and held him as his body shook with sobs.

I rested my chin on his head and rocked him back and forth while I silently cried. He slowly moved his head up after a long while and started kissing me.

“Mike…” I said quietly.

“Please, Faith….Please….I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Please make it stop.”

He continued to kiss me through tears.

“Mike…”

“Please…” his voice sounded so small. I sighed and took his hand, we stood up. We walked to Mike’s bedroom where he took my clothes off and we had sex.

It wasn’t meant to be intimate or loving. It was meant to be aggressive; a distraction and I gave that to him. I gave him the outlet he needed to avoid his feelings temporarily. After, he laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. His hand was over mine which was laid on his chest.

“I have to call Chief Gunner and tell him I won’t be in tomorrow…” He said in a monotone.

“I called him already.” I said, “He wants you to take as much time as you need.”

Mike just nodded. He pulled me to him and nestled his head into my shoulder. All I could was hold him.