Christmas Eve

Mike and I arrived at Frank’s house for Christmas Eve dinner promptly at 5:30. Maggie had sent everyone an e-mail detailing the itinerary for the evening to the smallest minute the day before. Mike and I were expected to bring the wine and an appetizer. I decided to bring my famous stuffed mushrooms.

Maggie opened the door in a huff. The sound of a sports game was playing from the living room where Frank’s voice was mingled with Jamie’s. Mike gave me a kiss on the cheek before joining his dad and brother-in-law. I held out my stuffed mushrooms and Maggie directed me to the kitchen. She had asked me not to cook them before I arrived so they’d be hot when they were ready to be served.

I sat down at the kitchen’s island as Maggie popped the mushrooms into the oven, on the rack above the turkey. A few pots were boiling away on the stove top.

“Maggie, can I pour you a glass of wine?” I asked. She nodded as she began chopping some potatoes. That was a good sign. I smiled internally at Maggie FINALLY showing me something other than animosity. Sarah was setting the table in the dining room with Claire and Maggie’s kids were playing by the Christmas tree in the living room. It was nice to just sit and be with Mike’s family for a few small moments.

After about 15 minutes, Maggie served my stuffed mushrooms.

“Faith, these are amazing.” Claire said popping them into her mouth.

“Oh, thank you.” I said.

“No, for real, these are like crack. Can you bring them with you every time you come over?” Sarah asked.

Jamie came in and grabbed some too.

“Wow, Faith, did you make these, they’re great!” He said.

About 30 minutes later, Sarah and I were helping Maggie get everything ready for dinner. I was on salad duty and Sarah was in charge of mashing the potatoes. More and more dishes were sent out and the table slowly filled with Mike’s family. Maggie came out with the turkey and we all oohed and awed before passing sides and rolls around the table as Frank cut it.

Dinner was delicious and I was absolutely stuffed. Maggie had warm cider simmering on the stove and apple crisp ready to be put in the oven once the gifts were opened.

We all sat around the tree after dinner but the mood became fairly somber. No one really wanted to open the gifts from Betty, I think. There was a sense of finality to it and it also reminded everybody that there was a definite void this Christmas.  It was a fairly emotional experience to open the gifts Betty left behind.

Among the more memorable items Betty had purchased for her family was a necklace with pointe shoes on it for Sarah, a tea ball with Claire’s name on it and a matching tea cup, a car detailing kit for Mike and Frank to use for the car they’ve been refurbishing, and the scarf she had mentioned making for me shortly before she died. There were other gifts; handmade blankets for Annabelle and Grant, Jamie’s favorite kind of fudge. Mike got me a charm bracelet with a cat and fireman’s helmet on it to “symbolize [my] two favorite guys”.

But then it was time to give Maggie the heartfelt gift Frank had made for her. She opened it and started crying before thanking Sarah and Frank. It was very weird to see her show an emotion other than angry annoyance.

“This…this really means a lot to me dad.” She said looking at the cover which had a picture of her and Betty on it.

“It was really Faith’s idea.” Frank said.

I could feel Maggie’s mood shift almost immediately. She gave me a very cold, dirty look.

“Oh, of course it was.” Maggie said.

“Oh, that’s not really true I-” I said but Maggie cut me off.

“Well, Jamie why don’t you start throwing away the wrapping paper, I’m going to go put the apple crisp in the oven.”

She got up and left for the kitchen. She left the book on the couch.

About an hour and a half later, the kids were put to bed, Frank was snoring in his recliner and was out like a light, Mike was watching “A Christmas Story” on television with Jamie, and Sarah and Claire were sitting by the tree talking about their gifts.

I joined Maggie in the kitchen to help her clean up after we all ate her apple crisp and drank a bunch of cider.

“You really don’t have to do that.” She said.

“I want to. It’s not a problem. You’ve been in here almost all night, you deserve a break.”

“No, what I want is a break from YOU.” She sneered.

“Um, excuse me?” I said with complete shock.

“Ever since my mother died you have basically inserted yourself into this family to replace her and, frankly, it’s disgusting.”

“Maggie, I am not trying to replace your mother.”

“Oh, really? You’re basically acting like Sarah’s mother!” She shouted.

Claire and Sarah came into the kitchen to see why Maggie was yelling.

“You have done nothing but insert yourself into our family business without even being invited.”

“Maggie, you’re being more than a little rude.” Claire said.

“Shut up, Claire, this has nothing to do with you.” Maggie yelled.

“It does, too! We’re part of this family, too, and neither one of us has a problem with Faith being here.” Sarah declared. It was the first time I’d ever seen her stand up to Maggie about anything.

“Sarah, you’re just a child, you have no idea the kind of person SHE is.” Maggie said.

Claire and Sarah both deflated at Maggie’s admonishments.

“Okay, you know, what, Maggie? I have never met someone as toxic as you in my life. I have been incredibly accommodating to you and the pain you must be in about Betty dying, but I am not going to let you treat me like garbage anymore. This is ridiculous. Mike and I are dating, if you have a problem with it, you’ll have to keep it to yourself because I will not allow you to steamroll me like you do to your family members.” I said seething.

“My mother may have liked you, Faith, but I see right through you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I said.

“My mother had no idea what a trashy whore you are; just like she never had any idea about any of Mike’s other girlfriends.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said.

“Oh, really? Are you denying screwing my brother during my mother’s WAKE?” She screamed.

Sarah and Claire looked at me with shock and disgust; then Jamie and Mike came to the kitchen and I absolutely wanted to die from humiliation.

“Faith, what’s going on?” Mike said taking in the scene of us arguing.

“Oh, your sister just decided to tell everyone about our sex life. Would you like to say something?” I said standing back to look at him and crossing my arms over my chest.

Mike looked at me with confusion.

“She just announced that we had sex during your mother’s wake.” I said.

“Whoa.” Jamie said looking at Mike.

“Go upstairs and check on the kids.” Maggie snapped at Jamie. He left reluctantly, looking back between Mike and I.

"How did she know that?" I asked Mike.

"I didn't tell her!" He said.

“I heard you two. I came to get Faith to ask her to help me in the kitchen and instead I got to see...well...hear what a trashy whore she is. Mike she has done nothing but act like she’s here to replace mom. AND she’s a trashy whore.”

“Hey, whoa, WHOA.” Mike said trying to step in.

“She took your little sister shopping for funeral clothes, she went Christmas shopping with dad, she disrespected our mother’s memory, she took OUR places by our mother’s death bed!!!” Maggie was hysterical.

I looked at Mike. His silence was deafening.

“I…should go.” I said quietly, “Merry Christmas, guys.” I said to Sarah and Claire who were still looking at me as if they had no idea who I was.

I collected my things and headed out of the house, thankful that Frank was still sleeping in his chair and hadn’t heard any of what was said in the kitchen. After pulling my coat, hat, and scarf on in the windy snow outside, I pulled my phone out and ordered a cab. I tried to fight my tears; I refused to let Maggie see me even sniffle.

“Faith, wait!” Mike yelled after me. He had run out of the house with just a sweater on.

“What?” I said with exhaustion. I crossed my arms and stood on the curb, refusing to look at him.

“What Maggie said was-” He put his hand on my shoulder.

“You know, I actually don’t really care what Maggie said.” I said spinning around and shrugging his hand off of me, “I’m a little more pissed off at what you DIDN’T say. SHE made me feel humiliated and unwelcome, but YOU…YOU made me feel even worse than that, which is funny because I didn’t think that was going to be possible after she announced my sexual activities in front of your entire family and called me a trashy whore. TWICE.”

I wasn’t even bothering to keep my voice down. I couldn’t believe Mike basically left me out to dry like that. I was so incredibly angry and also horrifically embarrassed.

“Do you think I’m trying to replace your mom?” I asked him.

Mike was quiet for just a beat too long and I became even angrier.

“No, but-”

“Mike, you KNOW I only did that stuff for your family because I care about YOU. I wanted to make things easier for YOU. I took Sarah out to buy a dress for your mother’s funeral because I knew you were having a hard time dealing with the funeral arrangements. I did it for YOU. Even the incident at the wake I did for YOU. I didn’t want to, if you recall! I have been dealing with your sister treating me like crap because I didn’t want to upset YOU and drag you into it! I suggested the recipe book to Frank because I thought it would ease the tension with Maggie and make things easier for YOU! I went to the hospital to be there for YOU. I was by your side so you could lean on me when you needed to!”

“Faith, listen, I know that, okay? I don’t’ think you’re trying to replace my mom. I know you just did all of that stuff for me, but-”

“BUT!? BUT!?” I screamed.

Mike backed away from me and tried to calm me down.

“Listen,” he said, “I’m not blaming you I just think that maybe my sisters and dad were trying to use you as a replacement and that’s OUR fault, not yours. Maggie should be angry with us, and I’m going to talk to her about it but I think all of us just sort of need to take a break from…you.”

“Oh.” I said suddenly quiet. I blinked, “Oh, you’re breaking up with me.”

The cab turned the corner and started driving towards the house.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying…I just think me and my family need to deal with this on our own…as a family, where we won’t be tempted to use you like a dead-mom-replacement. I think you and I should…go on a break. I think I need some time to deal with this on my own since-”

I opened the door to the cab and stared at Mike.

“You want some time away from me? FINE. Take as much time as you need, Mike. Don’t fucking call me again.” I said throwing the charm bracelet he gave me just a few hours ago at his chest.

I slammed the cab door and barked my address to the driver. I sat there in absolute rage and couldn’t even call any of my friends to tell them what happened because it was Christmas Eve and they were spending time with their families. I wiped away a tear that had escaped as soon as I got into the back of the cab. I sat there looking at the scarf Betty Made for me hanging around my neck. It was a gorgeous cerulean blue embroidered with shiny, white silk in the shape of snowflakes. I started crying harder. Betty’s death and the fact that Mike and I broke up on Christmas Eve all hit me at once and I was a sobbing mess. The cab driver took my money and was nice enough to ignore the fact that I was sobbing.

When I got to my apartment, the door was unlocked and all of the lights were on. Someone was there.