Melee

It was date night and I had invited Mike over to my apartment for dinner. Molly was at Calvin’s for the evening which I was relieved for because it meant I wasn’t going to have to worry about being judged for hanging out with Mike. He was standing in my kitchen with a light blue long-sleeved shirt on but had the sleeves pushed up as he worked with a skillet. I took it in and smiled internally.

“You know, I think Sasha and Dolly would get along really well. We should take them to the dog park sometime.” He said.

I agreed and we were trying to decide on a good day to take them out when there was a knock on my door.

“What are you doing here?” I was shocked and looked back at Mike who was focused on the stove in front of him. I gently closed the door and stepped into the hallway.

“I needed to see you. I’m ba-”

“Adam…” I shifted my eyes to the door in a panic.

I was so caught off guard. Part of me leapt at the sight of him. Another part was taken aback by how he looked. He was looking good, he'd clearly been cleared y his doctors to finally start hitting the gym again and you could totally tell. He stood there in a white t-shirt that showed off his arms and his favorite pair of jeans but he had a darker five o'clock shadow than usual and looked tired. He looked good though and I immediately felt guilty for thinking that because I had no right to want him still. Another part of me was horrified that he was here while I was on a date with Mike. Could there have been worse timing? The horrified part of me must have been what showed on my face because I saw realization hit Adam.

“Are you…? Do you have someone over right now?”

Before I could answer, Mike pulled open the door and smiled at me. His smile faded when he noticed Adam and then he looked between me and Adam for an explanation.

“Mike, you remember my friend Adam, right?” I asked reintroducing him.

“Oh, yeah,” he shook Adam’s hand, “The guy that wrote that article…”

His eyes looked at Adam with slight contempt and Adam’s eyes mirrored his.

“Um. I’ll be right there,” I cut in before the tension between them progressed anymore, “we just needed to discuss something for a second.”

“Okay.” He smiled at me and then headed back into my apartment.

I shut the door and looked at Adam with a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

“Wow.” Adam nodded with a blown away look on his face.

“Why are you here?” I gave a small, tired shrug.

“I…I wanted…I can’t believe you,” he was suddenly angry, “we only broke up 6 weeks ago and you’re already dating again!?”

Adam looked at me angrily.

“Now wait a minute, I-”

He shook his head and left before I could say anything else. I went back inside and found Mike working in the kitchen.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, Adam just needed some advice about work. He wanted to see if I could use some of my HR contacts from before.”

“That’s so great of you, Faith.”

I joined him and started making a salad as he finished sautéing some vegetables. Dinner with Mike was nice but I couldn’t help thinking of Adam’s sudden appearance and what he’d said. I was shocked that he was even here.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked.

We had been sitting on the couch, snuggling, but I had spaced off.

“Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind tonight for some reason.” I said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“No, I think I just need to work through it by myself.” I was quiet for a beat, “You know, I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m going to be very fun tonight.”

“Did I do something?”

“No!” I said with surprise, “You didn’t do anything, it’s just a lot of stressful work stuff that I have to deal with tomorrow, that’s all.”

“Okay, well, do you want me to go?” He asked with concern.

“I’m sorry.” I said shrugging, “I’m just not in a mood to hang out right now.”

“It’s okay.” He got up and grabbed his jacket. I walked him to the door and we kissed before he left.

I paced around my apartment for about ten minutes before grabbing my coat and keys.

  

Adam was not happy to see me when he opened his door (I figured he’d be at his apartment since he had been unable to find a sub-letter before he moved and I was banking on him still not having one set up yet). He rolled his eyes and let me in. When he closed the door he faced me and crossed his arms and waited for me to speak.

“First of all, you had NO right to just show up out of the blue!” I yelled, “What were you thinking?”

“What was I thinking!?” Adam yelled back, “You’re dating again and we only broke up 6 weeks ago! How long have you been back together with him?”

“Two weeks.” I said uncomfortably.

Adam made a scoffing sound.

“No!” I said holding my finger up and pointing at him, “You do NOT get to make me feel guilty for moving on! We were over. You chose your job over me!”

Adam looked like I had slapped him.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” He spat, “I told you I wouldn’t go if you didn’t want me to. You were planning on ending things for over a week before I left, you helped me pack up all of my stuff into a moving van, and then broke things off the night before I left and then told me if I stayed we still wouldn’t be together. You left me with no other option but to leave!”

“I mean before that, Adam!”

He shook his head slightly as if he didn’t understand so I continued.

“When you were offered that job there was no discussion about how I would feel about you leaving. You didn’t include me in your decision to take the job at all. You just decided and only included me when it was time to figure out how we would make things work!”

“Right, because you would have told me not to take it.” He shot back sarcastically.

He was right. I never would have told him not to take the job. I tried a different tactic.

“You know what, Adam? I made the hard decisions in our relationship. I ended things between us for you. I made that decision-”

“Only because you gave up on us, Faith!” His face looked the way it had the night I’d broken things off and my heart broke all over again. But I became defensive, too.

“I did NOT give up on us!” I said fiercely, “I ended things between us because I lov-”

“Right, because you loved me SO much that you had to let me go. Bullshit!” He spat.

“Excuse me?” I said angrily.

“Faith, you used that reasoning as an excuse because it sounds noble but in reality you ended things because things got hard and you ran away. It’s what you DO. I KNOW you. I know you run from things, I just never realized you would run away from ME. From US.”

“I… That’s not fair!” I said weakly and leaned against the wall in his foyer.

The truth is, he was right. He’d hit the nail on the head and I had absolutely no way to pretend like he didn’t. I ended it because I was scared and ending it was less scary than staying together and having to work at something as difficult as a long distance relationship and knowing it might not work out, so I beat it to the punch and ended it. I looked up at him in defeat and shrugged sadly.

“I’m sorry, Adam.”

He stepped toward me and put his forehead against mine and cupped my face with one hand. His other hand was against the wall next to me. He stood upright and pulled his forehead away from mine and we stared at each other.

“Faith…I love you.” He said with a heavy sadness.

A tear slipped out of my eye and rolled down my cheek but I wiped it away quickly.

“I…I love you, too, Adam, but-”

His lips pressed against mine and my body collapsed into his as he pushed me against the wall. It was the most intense kiss I’ve ever had in my life. My hands ran through his hair as he pushed against me with his body. One of his hands was entwined in my hair and the other was wrapped around my hip. I hiked one of my legs over his hip…

(Today is the author's 26th birthday! -del)