Cut!

Adam’s kisses sent a spark through me and made me see fireworks. I realized just how much I missed him and it was painful. But not as painful as what happened next.

I felt Adam’s hands resting on my hips under my shirt, pulling me into him and god I wanted this to happen so, so badly but I came to my senses and gently pushed him away.

“We…I…I can’t do this.” I said.

We were both panting and he looked at me with sadness painted across his face.

“It doesn’t have to be over.” He pleaded, “We can start over, you can-”

I swallowed hard and cut him off.

“With you living in Ohio and me living here?”

He nodded.

“Then, no. I’m seeing where things go with Mike now. I…I want to be with him, Adam. We both deserve to move on.”

He pulled away from me and looked hurt all over again. He backed away from me and I saw his shoulders collapse in defeat. He knew it was over, really and truly. We stood there in silence for a long time on opposite sides of his foyer. Adam slid down the wall he was leaning against and I did the same against the opposite wall.

“I miss you. I miss my friend.” He said quietly.

“I miss you, too.” I said sadly.

“So this is it?” He looked up at me.

“It doesn’t have to be. We can try being friends like before…but I think both of us need to have a little more time before we try that. And you deserve to let yourself build a life in Cincinnati, Adam. You need to go build a life there.”

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and shook his head. I slid over to him and pulled him in to a hug.

“You need to let me go, Adam. It’s okay. You should go back to Ohio and make new friends and meet someone new.”

“Why? You haven’t.” He pointed out.

I opened my mouth to respond but he had a point. I hadn’t move on, either, as much as I’d tried to convince myself I had. Mike wasn’t a new person in my life, I had made no new friends. Before Sarah’s phone call I had passed the time by being sad, working, and pretending I was fine.

“Well, then, let’s just make a promise to each other…”

Adam eyed me.

“Let’s both agree to try as hard as we can to move on. So that one day, when enough time has passed, we’ll be able to be friends again.”

He stared at me unconvinced.

“Look,” I took his hand, “Adam, our relationship may not have worked out, but I think the friendship we had was really special and I’m willing to revisit that…but once we’ve both had some time and space away from the failure of our romantic relationship.”

He rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb and sighed sadly. I sat next to him and put my head against the wall. We were a sad sight, sitting next to each other in his foyer. We both stared straight ahead.

“What we had was good, right? I’m not just imagining that?” He said still staring at the opposite wall.

“It was.” I said smiling, “I think it was the happiest I’ve been in a really long time.”

“We knew breaking up was a possibility when we started this thing. You were so concerned about what it would do to our friendship and you warned me but I…I was so stupid.”

“No, you weren’t.” I said looking at him, “Adam, being with you will never be something I look back on with regret. I mean that. You were right when you told me that I couldn’t let fear of losing our friendship get in the way of falling in love with you because it was so worth it.”

I felt a tear slip out and Adam wiped it away and smiled at me.

“It would’ve been nice if we could’ve had sex one more time.” He joked.

We both laughed.

“Don’t I know it.” I giggled.

“I was pretty good, huh?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

“Better than ‘pretty good’.” I said seriously.

“Well, then how about one last time?”

“Not happening.” I said getting up and rolling my eyes.

I walked towards his door and he followed me. He opened it and we just stood there for a moment. He leaned forward and kissed me one last time. It was soft and sweet and for the briefest second I felt like I was making a mistake by essentially saying ‘no’ to restarting our relationship, but it passed and we pulled apart.

“Good bye, Adam. I hope Cincinnati is good to you.”

I turned and left his apartment.




(As a thanks for all the birthday wishes from yesterday....SURPRISE POST! -del)