Dished

“So, Faith, how was your date with Mike?” Zoey asked me.

We were having our weekly brunch meet-up and I’d only just had my breakfast pancake platter put down in front of me before Zoey completely caught me off guard. I’d invited Penny (with Zoey’s blessing) to join us and there were several reasons why Zoey’s topic of choice was an issue: I hadn’t told anyone but Molly that Mike and I had reconnected, considering what happened with Adam, I didn’t want Penny to hear about this…assuming she already didn’t know. I also wasn’t sure I wanted to gush about Mike to my friends and have Penny tell Adam about it. Rubbing all of this in his face would just be too cruel. And finally, I hadn’t told any of them about Adam’s surprise visit and didn’t plan on telling them about it.

“Um…how do you know that?” I asked her while giving Molly a dirty look.

“I didn’t realize it was a secret.” Molly shrugged innocently.

“I…it was fine.” I said placidly.

Zoey looked at me unsatisfied.

“Oh, come on,” she said, “you’ve always wanted a second chance with Mike and all you’ll say about your last date with him was that it was fine?”

“Who’s Mike?” Penny asked while nonchalantly popping a forkful of egg into her mouth.

She was playing it cool but I saw her look disappointed for the briefest moment at the mention of me going on a date with someone who wasn’t Adam.

“He’s an ex-boyfriend I dated awhile ago. I did something really stupid and we broke up.” I said giving her the short version and frowning.

“So, did you get him into bed? I know it took you forever to sex that man up last time you dated.” Zoey was the only one excited about this conversation at the table and was completely oblivious to that fact, apparently.

“I…no. We made dinner together and then he left.”

“That’s it?” Zoey asked.

“Yeah.”

“Is it?” Molly piped in, “Adam didn’t show up half way through your date with Mike?”

How in the fuck did she know that? I seethed inside but cleared my throat.

“What?” Penny was shocked.

“He did.” I conceded, “But he left almost immediately.”

“What did he say?” Zoey asked.

“He was angry with me because while we were in the hallway together, Mike came outside to see what was going on. He realized I was on a date and he left.”

Zoey and Penny were shell-shocked, Molly crossed her arms and listened with an amused look on her face.

“And then you just continued your date with Mike like nothing happened?” Penny asked.

“No…I mean, kind of? Mike and Adam aren’t on the best of terms on a good day I didn’t want to explain to Mike that oh, by the way, the guy that showed up during our date is the same guy I just ended a serious relationship with who came back to convince me to get back together. So I told him that Adam and I just had to talk about some job search stuff. We ate dinner and then he left.”

“Wow.” Zoey sat back in the booth, “So, you haven’t heard from Adam at all since he left?”

I looked at all three of them, clearly uncomfortable, but the can of worms had been opened. I sighed.

“Not exactly. I went to his apartment and we had a fight. Ultimately I think it was good. We were able to clear the air between us and get some closure.”

“So, that’s it? You guys fought and then you just left?” Zoey asked.

“Yeah.”

I shifted in my seat.

“No…something else happened, didn’t it?” Zoey asked.

“I…no. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh my god, Faith! You had sex with him didn’t you!?” Zoey said.

Penny’s face brightened when she looked at me and Molly sat in stoic silence.

“I did not have sex with him.” I said.

“You TOTALLY had sex with him! Oh my god, Faith!” Zoey was practically bouncing in her seat.

“Guys…we didn’t have sex. We just kissed.”

All of us were quiet for a second.

“So…you’re cheating on Mike again?” Zoey broke the silence.

“What? No!” I said, “Mike and I are just dating. We aren’t exclusive. For all I know he could be dating someone else, too.”

“Wait, ‘too’? So you and Adam are dating again?” Penny asked hopefully.

“No. We’re over. Completely over.” I said.

Penny deflated slightly.

“Look, can we not talk about this anymore?” I asked, “I’m over it.”

The truth was that I had been going back and forth in my head wondering if I’d made the right decision essentially picking Mike over Adam and I had doubts. I didn’t want them to weigh in on what they thought I should do because I was so confused already. I just wanted to deal with this alone for a bit. And I didn’t want to go into too much detail about what had happened with Adam because it just felt private. We were both really vulnerable that night and it felt wrong to bring other people into it.

We moved on to different topics and eventually said our good byes. I even held in my anger with Molly until we got back home.

“What THE HELL, Molly!?” I rounded on her as soon as the front door was closed.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“How did you know Adam showed up during my date? You weren’t even here that night!”

“Calm down, Faith, I could just tell, okay?”

“Bullshit.” I spat, “How did you actually know?”

She sighed.

“Adam told me.”

I had to do a double-take. I was confused, at first, but then angry.

“Adam…? What do you mean Adam told you?”

“We text sometimes. We’re friendly. I didn’t realize when you broke up with someone we couldn’t be friends anymore. What is this? High school?”

I was flabbergasted.

“Molly, did you know he was coming to see me?”

“No, I didn’t.”

 I didn’t believe her. I crossed my arms and stared at her angrily until she filled the silence.

“I…didn’t know, Faith, but I thought it might be a possibility.”

“What the fuck, Molly!? And you couldn’t have clued me in? You couldn’t have told him not to!?”

“Told him not to? Faith, I encouraged him to.”

“Why would you do that?” I asked sadly, “Do you have any idea how much it hurt him to see me on a date with Mike?”

She sighed and looked at me knowing I wasn’t going to like the words that came out of her mouth next.

“When I found out that you and Mike were back together I told Adam hoping he would come back and…”

“What? Sweep me off my feet?”

“Well, when you say it like that it sounds pretty stupid.”

“That’s because it IS.” I was so angry with Molly.

I often appreciate Molly’s opinions and advice when I don’t ask for it (although recently that’s changed, I’ll admit) because she always gives me a kick in the ass to make better decisions but this…this just crossed a line. This involved Adam and caused him (both of us, really) more pain than necessary all because she thought she knew better.

“I cannot believe you.” I said.

I was at a loss for words.

“I know it wasn’t the greatest plan but-”

“But what? Molly the only thing you succeeded in doing here was make sure Adam was hurt again. And that I was the one to do it…again.”

She looked down at the floor sadly.

“Did he tell you what we talked about when I was at his apartment?”

She shook her head.

“I basically had to tell him that I was choosing Mike over him.”

“Well you could’ve chosen Ad-”

I held up my hand to stop her and closed my eyes angrily.

“Molly, you put me in a position where I either hurt Adam or I hurt Mike. YOU did that.”

“I’m sorry, Faith, but I think you’re making a mistake.”

I was just done at that point.

“I don’t care!” I yelled, “If you think I’m making a mistake, then fine! But I do NOT have to justify my choice again. You crossed a line, here, Molly. I’m not choosing Adam. He doesn’t live here! He doesn’t deserve such a terrible girlfriend! I am a mess and Adam doesn’t need me in his life even if I am still in love with him!”

“So, after saying all that you’re going to continue on with Mike?”

“I…yes.” I said tiredly.

I was sick of fighting. Getting a second chance with Mike was a one-time deal. The timing sucked but I couldn’t walk away from it. Not when I had hoped for a second chance with him for so long. She didn’t understand. I can be a better person for Mike. I’ve hurt Adam too many times to go through this again. Molly stared at me with an unreadable expression.

“Whatever.” She said quietly, “I’m sorry for what I did.”

“You should apologize to Adam.” I spat.

“Don’t worry, I will.”