Friday, April 15, 2011

Hang Ups

I’ve been ruminating over the Guy thing for the past few days and Dr. Sheehan suggested I talk to Sean about it again to see if I had more clarity on my thoughts after going over them in my head. So when he called last night I decided that it was now or never.

“Hey.” I said smiling.

“Hey, the show tonight was great!”

“That’s awesome!”

“We even did a second encore. People are really liking our music, Faith.”

“Wow, a second encore! That reminds me, I should show you this clipping I took from the paper about the band. I forgot all about it when you were home but I’ll scan it into my computer tomorrow and e-mail it to you. It’s a really great review.”

“Sweet. So how is my favorite fiancée?”

“Um. Fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Okay, I’m bothered about the Guy thing.”

Sean was silent on the other end of the line.

“I just have one question.” I said fully aware of how annoying I was being about this.

“Okay.”

“If you weren’t on the tour right now, would you tell his girlfriend?”

“Why does it matter, Faith?”

“Because it does, Sean!”

“No. I wouldn’t.”

“Oh. I…I see.”

“What is the big deal?”

“It bothers me that you wouldn’t do the right thing.”

“And what exactly is the right thing, Faith?”

“Telling her!” I yelled.

“Really? Is that really what you think the right thing would be in this situation?”

“Yes!”

“And what would come of it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What good would come of me telling Guy’s girlfriend about it?”

“She would know! She could get herself tested for STDs!”

“And then what?”

“…and then she could move on from being cheated on instead of being strung along and treated badly.”

“Faith, I have known Guy for a LOT longer than I have his girlfriend. There is no reason for me to believe she is special to him.”

“What does that mean, Sean?”

“It means that I value my friendship with Guy more than a relationship he has with someone else. It’s not my place to get involved with that. I said my piece to Guy and it’s done. You’re the only one who is still hung up on it. Why?”

“Because….it makes me wonder if your friends would lie to me to cover your ass if you did something to hurt me. And I wouldn’t want that Sean. It would be humiliating for me.”

Sean was quiet on the phone for so long that I actually though we lost the connection.

“Are you really that worried that I’m going to cheat on you?”

“No. I don’t know why this is bothering me so much but it’s not because of that.”

“This is because of your last relationship, isn’t it? This is because of what Kevin did to you.”

I went to speak but was caught off guard. Is it really so obvious to everyone except for me how screwed up Kevin made me? Am I the only one who doesn’t realize it?

“Faith?”

“Yeah….I’m here.”

“You have to know that I would never do what he did to you. I would never….”

“I know. Can we just forget about this whole thing? I’ve got to go.”

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Good night Sean.”

I sat on my bed with my hand in my lap still holding the phone. Murphy jumped up next to me and meowed.

“What is wrong with me? I got closure. I moved on. Why am I letting my past interfere so much with what Sean and I have?”

All Murphy could do was meow. Looks like I’ve gotta go back to Dr. Sheehan and discuss this new revelation. I wish Kevin would stop making appearances in my life, guys. It’s just not fair.

2 comments:

  1. Honestly, i probably would not say anything either, for the reason sean mentioned, value his friendship. I believe in honesty but it usually turns out bad when it comes to cheating, best thing he can do is convince guy to break up with her. Must be more to this with faith.

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  2. i actually dated someone who had a relationship with his best friend's girlfriend while she was still with him, so i can understand why faith is so bothered by it. it bothered me really bad too, because i felt like if he was sooo willing to do that to someone he was close to, he could easily do that to me. on the other hand, if i were in a situation where my friend was the cheater, i would never tell their significant other, but i think i would pressure my friend to tell because it's wrong.

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