Mall Rats

Sean and I went Christmas gift shopping for my parents even though we decided it was best if he didn’t come. I made up an excuse about him having a family emergency that he couldn’t get out of and would be dealing with for awhile and my mom was upset but didn’t push the issue. He wanted to buy my parents gifts as a way to apologize and still somewhat participate in the holidays with them since they were nice enough to invite him. My mom was able to get almost all of her money back for the ticket, too, so things worked out pretty well in that regard.

“What kind of stuff do they like again?” Sean asked as we strolled through a mall.

“Well, my mom likes snowmen things, but only if they’re blue. She likes them more if they’re dark blue but she will accept light blue ones as well. She also loves anything with a butterfly on it and recently got into making and drinking tea. My dad is obsessed with his Kindle and food.”

“Hmmmm.” Sean looked around and pulled me through the mall. I know this is probably shocking, because I LOVE shopping, but holiday shopping is something I’m not that into because of the crowds and how rude people can be. Plus, my parents are deceptively hard to shop for, especially my dad.

After a few hours Sean and I left the mall with some fancy chocolate truffles, an Amazon Kindle gift card, and a cover for the Kindle with a built in light on it for my dad. For my mom Sean found a cute little stuffed animal type of snowman, two tea ball infusers, and a garden sculpture of a butterfly with stained glass wings. I’m going to be bring all of his gifts with me, except the garden sculpture (which is from both of us, as is the Kindle reading light cover) and the truffles which he’ll be mailing to me. I was a little touched with how much thought Sean put into the gifts that he got for my parents. I’m not really sure why, I mean, Sean is a thoughtful guy but it was touching to see that he was being just as thoughtful towards my parents as he normally is with me. We grabbed some dinner in the food court and a thought struck me while we were eating.

“Um…should I get a gift for your brother?” I asked randomly.

Sean looked at me stiffly.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I just thought that since you weren’t going to come home with me you’d make other plans. No one should be alone on Christmas.”

“I’ll just hang out with the guys.”

“They aren’t visiting family?”

“Well, Lou isn’t. He doesn’t have one, we’ll probably just order Chinese food and watch It’s a Wonderful Life on cable.”

“Wait, what? Lou doesn’t have a family?”

“No.” Sean shook his head, “His parents were murdered when he was a kid in a convenience store robbery, his little brother died three years ago from a drug overdose, and his grandmother passed away shortly after from cancer.”

“That’s so sad.” I said.

“Yeah, his mom was pregnant when she died too. They weren’t able to save it. Lou would have had a sister.”

I was shocked at how coldly Sean was able to recite this information. Part of me wondered if it hit too close to home for him and detaching himself from it was a coping mechanism.

“Sean…” I said tentatively, “Why don’t you talk to your brother.”

“Can we not get into this? He’s not part of my life, that’s really all that matters.”

I let it go and we finished dinner shortly after. I bought gifts for Lou and the other band members (a matching scarf set for Eddie and Jake, a guitar pick-shaped hole-puncher that you can use on old gift cards or credit cards to make your own picks for Guy, a clipboard with a calculator on it and a pen storage compartment for Karen, and a gourmet cheese sampler for Lou which Sean promised me he would love) once we started walking around again. I think I’ll probably get Sean that same guitar pick maker thing because he seemed really interested in it (and a little jealous I wasn’t buying it for him). I paused before we left, though.

“What’s up?” Sean said when he noticed I had fallen back.

“Should we get something for Gerry?” I asked.

Sean looked at me for a moment, incredulous.

“You’ve known him for a long time. He’s going through a rough patch.”

“Without work I don’t really know what to get him. A card that says, ‘congrats on not killing yourself’?”

“Sean, that’s kind of rude.” I said surprised at his words, “He really could have died, you know. You said he moved into his own apartment, could we send him some pots and pans or something?”

“Fine.” He said trudging back into the mall with me. We didn’t get Gerry a set of pots and pans, instead, we ended up buying him a welcome sign for his front door that had music notes on it and some pretzels dipped in chocolate.

I think bringing up Gerry was probably stupid, in hindsight, but I think now that he’s getting help, Sean should try and rebuild what they had or at least make a good will gesture to at least let Gerry know that he knows he’s alive and okay. Bringing up Paul was also stupid. I knew it was a taboo topic and Sean had previously made it clear it was off-limits but I don’t like the idea of Sean and Lou sitting around in an apartment on Christmas, alone. Had I known about Lou’s past beforehand I probably would have insisted that he come to my parents’ house for the holidays as well, since I’ve gotten to know him a bit better since Sean’s arrest, but it’s too late now.