Ohio Bound

Adam and I hadn’t talked since I left his apartment in the middle of the night besides a text he’d sent me the morning after:

    

           I know you need time and I’ll give you some space. –A

I kept going back to reread it periodically since then, I’m not sure why. I found myself on Zoey’s couch with the girls sitting around me.

“I feel like there’s no good solution to this.” I said looking into my cup of tea.

“That’s because there’s not.” Molly said.

“Would doing a long distance relationship really be that impossible?” Zoey asked.

I was sick of this question. It was one I’d been asking myself repeatedly over the past few days and it’s also one Adam, Zoey, and Molly had all brought up, too. I sighed.

“I know it’s not ideal.” She said, “But you and Adam are in a really good place. You guys have a strong relationship and you’re both committed to each other. Your relationship is in the best possible shape to try a long distance thing.”

“Yeah, plus, you’re used to this kind of stuff what with your dad being in the military when you were a kid and your brother.” Molly added.

“That’s different, though. When they would be deployed we knew that it wasn’t forever. It would be different if Adam had a timeline or something for how long he’d be out there.” I said, “But he doesn’t. For all we know this is a permanent position, it’s not like they said he could work there for a year or two and then be guaranteed a position here. Maybe if there was a deadline it would be easier to do long distance…at least then there would be a known light at the end of the tunnel.”

I looked back down at my tea grimly. I had a light at the end of the tunnel with Sean and it didn’t help us get through him being away. His tour was only supposed to last for a year at the most, we didn’t even make it six months before everything came crashing down. Zoey spoke as if she’d read my mind.

“Adam isn’t Sean, Faith.”

My eyes flashed up at her.

“You need to give him more credit.” Molly added.

“You know…when Sean and I were together, I was never worried he’d cheat on me. And when he’d told me what he’d done, I was blindsided.” I said it more to myself than Molly or Zoey.

They shared a serious look and then turned their attention back to me.

“Maybe you need to talk to him.” Molly said.

“I’m not ready to yet.”

“Faith, you can’t just sit here and run through what you want to do and then show up a week later and tell him the decision you’ve made. This is something you both need to figure out. Together.” Zoey said gently.

“Does it really matter? Any decision we make is going to suck.” I said bitterly.

I’ll be honest, I was slightly angry with Adam for even putting me in this position. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was only supposed to interview for jobs here. And then for him to say that he wouldn’t take the job if I told him not to? To put that decision about his career in MY hands? I get angrier the more I think about it.

“What if he turned it down? Tell him not to take it.” Molly suggested.

“Why? So he can resent me for being the bitch girlfriend who told him to turn down his dream job?”

Molly held up her palms in surrender.

“Besides,” I said bristling, “He had to give them an answer this morning and he accepted it. He’ll be gone in a week and a half.”

“And you can’t go with him?” Zoey asked.

I gave her a pointed look.

“I’m under a five year contract.”

“But if you weren’t, would you go?”

I didn’t like her question and I didn’t see the point in asking questions that didn’t reflect the reality of the situation. I couldn’t afford to break my contract with The Glass Penny; I would have to pay a ton of money in order to do that and I liked having a positive balance in my savings account.

“But I am, so I can’t.” I replied coolly.

We went around in circles for the rest of the afternoon before Molly and I said our good byes. Molly left to go meet Calvin for a movie and I headed home. Adam was sitting on our front stoop.

“Hey.” He said, “I know I said I’d give you space…”

“It’s fine, we should talk.” I sighed and led him up to my apartment.

“I accepted the job offer this morning.” He said as I leaned against our kitchen island.

I had expected it. I knew it was coming. But it still hurt. I nodded sadly.

“I’m so happy for you.” I meant it even though I was struggling to hold back tears.

Adam leaned against the kitchen counter opposite me and crossed his arms. I looked away from him to try and hide my eyes filling up with tears.

“This doesn’t have to change a lot for us.” He said looking at me.

“How can you say that?” I looked at him fiercely, “You aren’t going to be living here. Of course it’s going to change. Stop pretending like this isn’t that big of a deal because it is for ME, even if it’s not for you.”

I let my anger come out after trying to hold it in for days.

“Whoa, that’s not-”

“You just dropped this on me! And I can’t even be angry at you for it because it’s your dream job! And then you tell me that if I say ‘no’ you won’t take it!? How is that even fair!? NONE of this is fair and I’m not just losing you, I’m losing my best friend, and right after Anna-”

I started crying; full-on ugly sobbing. Adam walked forward and put his arms around me. I feebly tried to push him away and ended up just weakly banging my fists on his chest as he held me and patted the back of my head.

“It’s not fucking fair!” I said sobbing into his shirt.

He held me like that for a long time before pulling away and cupping my face. He looked into my eyes seriously and I tried to look away but he followed my eyes with his.

“I don’t want you to think that this isn’t that big of a deal to me. I’m freaking out about this just as much as you are, okay?”

I sniffled and then nodded and crossed my arms.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled as I wiped my nose with the back of my hand (I know…so attractive) and looked away, “What are we going to do?”

I looked up at him meekly He pushed me up so I would sit on the counter and then stood there between my thighs. He sighed and then put his forehead against mine.

“I think our only option is to do this long distance.” I looked up and started crying again and shook my head; his voice came quicker and with a higher sense of urgency, “I’ll continue to look for a job here in the city while I’m there so this doesn’t have to be permanent.”

“Adam, you’ve had a hard enough time finding something here and you live here right now. It will be even more difficult to find something here when you’re from out of town and you KNOW that.”

He sighed with frustration and then put his hands on my hips.

“Faith, I’m really trying here, okay? All I’m asking you to do is try it. For us. For what we have.”

I closed my eyes and let my head drop.

“For me.” He said quietly.

I looked up at him and nodded wearily.

“Okay.” I said quietly.

He smiled at me and cupped my face with one hand and kissed me. I kissed him back.

“It’s going to be okay.” He said, “You’ll see. We’ll figure something out and it’ll be okay.”

I nodded and hugged him but I didn’t feel as sure about it as he did.

(Author's note: the Character Guide pages has been updated with descriptions of the new characters introduced since the last update in January. -del)