“What the HELL is wrong with you!?” I yelled.
I showed up at the record shop Brad works at now and made a scene. He grabbed my arm and threw me in the backroom so people couldn’t hear us argue.
“You deserved it! And so did your boyfriend. He deserved to
know what we did.”
“I was going to tell him.” I said acidly.
“And how long had you been telling yourself that before I did it
for you?”
I gave Brad a dirty look.
“I hope you’re happy. He broke up with me.” I crossed my
arms and tried to hide how sad it made me.
Brad looked down before looking back up at me. He looked
remorseful.
“Honestly, I thought it would feel better than it did.”
“You are such an asshole Brad.”
“What, and you’re not?” He accused.
“Excuse me?”
“How many times have you used me for sex, Faith? How many
times have you pulled that crap knowing full well that I have feelings for you?
And this time you involved me in cheating! The truth is you don’t care about
me, you don’t see me as your friend. You see me as someone who’s really good at
getting you off and that’s all!”
“That’s not true Brad! I DO care about you, as a friend, although I think you might
have completely burned that bridge with this latest stunt. What the hell were
you thinking? Did you WANT to ruin my relationship?”
“Screw you, Faith. Get over yourself! I wanted to assuage my
own guilt about what we did. I helped you cheat on your boyfriend and the worst
part is that you let me!”
I shook my head and angrily sighed.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You came on to me. You were just as involved as I was in it. I didn't trick you into doing anything. You wanted to break Mike
and I up.”
“So what if I did!? I wanted you to be hurt, Faith! I wanted
you to feel as hurt as I did when you ignored me and my feelings. I saw the
chance and I took it and I’m glad I did!”
“Wow.” I said with disgust, “You’re a real piece of work. I
hope you have a nice life.”
I spun around and left the back room and slammed the door
behind me. Hot tears stung my eyes as I left the front of the store.
I’m so upset about this whole situation. It should’ve been
obvious that staying friends with Brad after we went out on our first and only
date woudn’t work. I can’t even deal with Mike breaking up with me or Brad
because I open my show in a few days and I’m still acting head bartender at
Bruno’s. I don’t have the time to grieve for my relationship but I will when my
life slows down a little.
Again, it's really hard to sympathize with Faith when she falls back into her tendency to blame everyone else for her bad decisions. Yes, Brad ratted her out to Mike, but that action would have had no effect over her and their relationship if she'd just told Mike right away - when they were talking in the coffee shop about their big fight. Or, maybe Brad wouldn't have felt bitter and hurt enough to lash out at Faith like that in the first place if she'd just shown the smallest amount of concern for his feelings. Using him when she was hurt, then ignoring him afterward (knowing he had feelings for her)? NOT a smooth move. Inexcusable, really. Brad made very good points here. Faith is blind to her own part in all this; she really has nobody to blame and be angry with besides herself.
ReplyDeleteYay for Brad standing up for himself! I'm disgusted by her disgust for Brad. Her 'poor me' mentality has gone way too far this time. Brad is right, she does need to get over herself. (I hope he is over her too. If he isn't, this episode should help him A LOT.)
ReplyDeletein all fairness, yes, she did use him. But, she did say no, and he pursued. he KNEW she didn't want a relationship, and knew she was weak in that area (sex and emotions) and played on that because of his feelings for her. He is just as guilty at her using him as she is. He put himself out there to be used. Hell, he pushed her into it most times. and when they were screw buddies, she made it perfectly clear she didn't want anything else from him, and when his feelings were more apparent, she ended it. Yes, they kept falling into it, but he was just as active in pursuing that. New Years Eve, she told him no. Slapped him even. He should have walked away, but he knew she was in a weak moment and he would get what he wanted from her. and she caved. She's very weak that way, but I hold Brad just as guilty as her. Yes, she was a dick about it at the end, but I really think, had the roles been reversed, he would have done the same damn thing, and that's why he was more angy.. because he got the same he would have given her.
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents.
KBear
Wow, everyone is growing a spine these days. They always say what goes around comes around. Faith is getting a really hard lesson in this. I hope she grows from it. mum
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more Kbear.
ReplyDeleteOk Guys, I have to say this - While I totally agree with KBear I also want to say that in my mind after the fight with Mike, Faith really thought she and Mike were done. It is kind of the whole "on a break" thing from Friends. Yes, she should have told Mike what happened but she did not owe him an explanation because they were not together when it happened.
ReplyDeleteI agree with that as well. However, I don't think I would have told him. I wouldn't have seen the need to. We're on a break. I haven't heard from you in weeks, then you call to "talk" - to me, I'm still broken up with you. If Brad then yelled it out, I would have been "so? we weren't together" - that might make me a cold bitch, but it is what it is. I may have told him to be honest, and if he'd done it I'd be hurt, but I'd not hate him for it. We were on a break!
DeleteThe more I think about it, the more I believe it wasn't Brad's place to say anything to Mike about his little 10-minute stand with Faith. They weren't involved beyond sex and she didn't make him think that they would become anything more than sex partners. He opened his mouth out of spite, plain and simple. I'm not saying that Mike didn't deserve or need to know that Faith had cheated on him (And IMO opinion, it is cheating unless you have officially and completely cut ties, but that's just me.), but it didn't need to happen in such a cruel, slap-in-the-face kind of way. Mike didn't do anything to Brad to deserve that.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I hope Faith pulls her head out soon.
I don't think it was done all out of spite. He wanted to to break them up--I don't deny that. But underneath all that anger towards Faith he doesn't seem to be okay with the fact that helped someone cheat on/betray her partner. Also, if Brad didn't say anything to Mike, Faith would have wiggled her way out of this. I don't believe she would have told Mike the truth.
DeleteMike didn't deserve to find out that way, and it was Faith that allowed such a situation to arise. Mike wouldn't have found from Brad if Faith had been honest with him first. She had 6 weeks to have a conversation with Mike.
Till the very end, Faith didn't give a rat's ass about Brad. She knew she screwed up with Brad, so she felt guilty and wanted to explain herself. She bumps into him on Valentine's day when she is out with Mike. She doesn't stop to think that it might not be the right time to talk to Brad. I don't think it was easy for Brad to see her out on a date with Mike. I do feel bad for Mike, but as much as he matters, Brad does too (for me). For what it's worth, I don't think the way Mike found out hurts as much as what he found out.
Faith knew exactly what she was doing when she chose to have sex with Brad while her relationship with Mike was still an issue. Nobody forced her to do it; she certainly has free will. When a man gets involved with a woman sexually - making her feel used in the process - while he's in a committed love relationship with another woman, nobody ever talks about him being pushed into it, or him being weak as any kind of excuse. He's reviled as a cheating dog who hurt BOTH women...no excuses accepted, regardless of who pursued who, or who initiated sex. The last thing anyone mentions or cares about in a situation like that is the negative fallout for him personally, other than maybe for his unsuspecting partner who was cheated on. Faith is basically a very nice person, but she has a serious problem owning up to her mistakes, her own responsibility in situations. Thinking of herself as a victim allows her to make rationalizations and excuses for her own behavior, placing the blame of her unhappiness on someone else's shoulders (usually a boyfriend's, or some other guy she's somehow involved with). This isn't even the first time Faith has involved herself in a cheating situation when she's been hurt and confused, either; it can't ALWAYS be someone else's fault that she makes the choices she makes. When she had sex with Brad in the backroom, she described it as an angry act; she was furious with MIKE, lashing out at him for what happened at his family's by being unfaithful. She wasn't just "sad," as she claimed to Mike as a way of explanation. She was pissed off. Yet, she won't allow herself to understand (so far) how it would be almost predictable that Brad would feel hurt and angry over her not answering any of his repeated texts or calls after they got together, instigating some sort of negative reaction from him when the opportunity presented itself. He struck out at her angrily (figuratively) when it was convenient. Wrong? Vindictive? Sure - but not a mystery. Nobody likes to be ignored and tossed away like that. He wasn't just an anonymous, one-night stand or drunk-night booty call. She referred to him as a good friend (more than once), and it's easy to understand why he would think of himself that way, and expect to be treated with more decent respect for his feelings than he was in this situation. For a person she described as being a valued friend, she treated him very shabbily. It's certainly just as bad when a woman treats a man with that kind of disregard as the reverse.
ReplyDeleteSo, while Mike didn't deserve to find out in such an abrupt, callous manner, Faith's self-righteous anger toward Brad falls pretty flat; it just doesn't seem particularly justified to me. She pretty much sealed the deal when she dogged him all that time after they got together.
Her & Mike's decimated relationship really is a sad state of affairs, but it's Faith's own doing. That would have to be the hardest part for most people in Faith's position - having to deal with that reality, accept it, and try to learn from it.
I love and agree with everything Witchypoo just said. There is noone to blame for all this except Faith. She does this over and over - makes horrible choices (many times with cheating) and then doesn't own up to them. She never admits her part in the situation, instead just goes around laying blame on everyone else and feeling sorry for herself. She desperately needs to grow up and start admitting that she is responcible for her actions, and she is the one that needs to change! Mike deserved way better from her - she is trying to blame Brad for telling him, when in fact it was her that kept it from him for WEEKS! And SHE was the one who cheated... Brad did not force her. She is an adult and is responcible for her actions. She needs to grow up and start recognizing that.
DeleteAhh, such good writing :)
I agree - Faith is the only person responsible for her situation. I just feel badly for Mike. He thought he was going to "collect" his girlfriend and say hello to someone and had this dropped in his lap out of the blue. Again, Faith's fault, but Brad didn't need to be an *ss to HIM about it.
DeleteWe'll never know for sure how things would have turned out if Faith had had the balls to tell him herself weeks and weeks earlier rather than having the guy she f*cked in the back room of a bar 'slap him in the face' with it unexpectedly. Of course the fact that she had sex with someone else hurt Mike, but the delivery and the deliverer probably didn't help the situation at all.
My comment crossed with S.'s, and the last sentence about *what* Mike finding out being so much more important than *how* really makes good sense to me. I doubt that, had Faith really been honest with Mike like she claimed she was going to be (she certainly was suffering plenty of guilt over it), there would be a different outcome to their relationship. Mike made it clear that he just couldn't be with her after this; the lack of trust was a deal-breaker, and much too significant to get around.
ReplyDeleteFaith had that coming. No one took her choice away. She did what she did and needs to own up to it. Brad was wrong but he was the one that got used not the other way around.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Faith feels used by Brad. I think she knows that she used Brad and she feels bad about that. She wanted to apologize to him, and yeah, she wanted to apologize later than than she should have but she DID try, he just ignored her calls. This was the first opportunity she had to apologize to him once she realized she needed to.
DeleteBut Faith has always been honest about what she's wanted from Brad. And she's never wavered from that. Brad knew that when they slept together. It's not like she stuck around afterward and gave him any hint that she wanted a relationship with him. I think Faith was very clear about the way she sees Brad and it's not fair for him to accuse her of leading him on all the time when she has been very explicit about not wanting to be with him in a romantic way.
I think it's fair to say that Faith is not the victim here, but I don't think Brad is, either. He wasn't led on. He was aware of how Faith felt about him but he still had sex with her. He was the one that came on to her, not the other way around. I could agree with him being a victim if Faith had come on to HIM but she didn't. She even refused his advances at first but he kept pushing her. Faith turned to Brad as a friend to get some support about her relationship and Brad responded by trying to make out with her.
I also don't think Brad felt guilty about what they did and told Mike to "assuage" his guilt or whatever. Brad was jealous, plain and simple, and I think he did what he did to try and break them up on purpose so he can swoop in and be with Faith. He listened to Faith talk about her problems with Mike, saw a chance, and took it. I don't feel bad for him. He's not as nice of a guy as Faith thinks he is.
Actually, she DID want to be with Brad in a romantic way...at least sexually. In the post her and Brad get busy in the backroom of the bar, right before the action starts they're arguing. He tells her that it was HIM that didn't choose to be involved with HER in the end, and she yells at him something about, "Yeah, and I dodged a bullet there, didn't I?" (words close to that effect). I remember when Faith wanted to continue on with Brad having a sexual relationship, without the emotional attachments and other implications that go along with it (as if that's possible, 99.9% of the time; she was fooling herself), and he told her that he couldn't do that - it would be too hard, he had feelings for her he couldn't ignore, etc. So, Faith was ALWAYS attracted to Brad, plus she was completely aware of his feelings for her, and she told him at the time that she wasn't in a place to get more involved with him than that, because she was still mixed-up from her last romantic trauma, blah-blah-blah. But, that admission doesn't say or imply that she COULDN'T have feelings for him, or that he was someone who she couldn't see herself loving under different circumstances. And, interestingly, even after all that when he got a girlfriend who he seemed really into, Faith acted somewhat resentful of that, like she had mixed feelings about him moving on from her, and they had some words over it. Faith was acting all put-out about catching Brad and his girlfriend outside the bar making out, and he was like, "What are you mad about?" He was genuinely baffled, and was really nice to her during that exchange, even though Faith was being pretty bitchy and judgmental. She was acting exactly like a jealous lover. I remember thinking it was contradictory of her, since she'd claimed earlier that she didn't want a full-blown relationship with him because of possible complications, timing, etc. So, she and Brad have had mixed vibes between them (and, Faith herself admitted this in a post from a few months back, that maybe she was jealous of his girlfriend)...which implies to Brad (and the reader) that maybe there actually IS something more between Faith and Brad than just a good friendship with f*uckbuddy potential. It's easy to see how he could be conflicted and confused about the state of affairs between them, in other words, with all those exchanges between them. Her behavior toward and with him was confusing - even to me.
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, a couple of things are obvious to me: Faith has never really been consistently clear with Brad about what she does or doesn't feel for him; there's been mixed messages since the beginning, and contradictory behavior on Faith's part. Also, Faith was crystal clear in her understanding about Brad's feelings for her; the person who ISN'T as emotionally invested always has the "power", the upper-hand (for lack of a better term). It was BRAD who was vulnerable here, with Faith knowing she had the potential to really hurt him (she's admitted this in the past, also stating to us that she didn't want that to happen). That's assuming Brad's character stays true-to-form of what we've learned about him since the beginning, and the author doesn't decide to make him someone different than who we're familiar with.
The post where she and Brad argue and then get busy - they fight passionately, then silently stare at each other...then they're all over each other - simultaneously. It was right here that Faith could have walked away; but she didn't. That exchange paints a picture of Faith being fully engaged in what she's doing, not at all the wilting flower being brow-beaten into doing something she doesn't want to.