The Truth Will Set You Free

Brad watched my face as he said it.

There was a beat of silence before a look of understanding spread over Mike’s face and he turned to look at me. The hurt from Brad’s words were all over his face. Mike headed out of the bar, I followed him out but not before I shot Brad a look full of hatred.

When I caught up with Mike on the sidewalk, he spun around to look at me.

“Is it true?” He asked.

I didn’t answer. He shoved the bag of food into my arms and hailed a cab.

“Mike, please, let me explain!”

He got into the cab and slammed the door. He refused to look at me before it sped off. I felt completely overcome by my emotions. I thought I was going to throw up. I was pissed at Brad, I was upset with myself, and I was devastated for hurting Mike. I stood on the sidewalk clutching the bag of food to my chest while tears ran down my face. People were staring at me and I felt humiliated.

I ran back to my apartment to grab my wallet and called a cab. I needed to explain to Mike what had happened and make it clear that I was planning on telling him. I knocked on his door for what seemed like 10 minutes.

“Mike, I know you’re home. I saw your lights on from the street. Please let me in.” I shouted at the door.

He opened it and looked extremely angry.

“Can you just go?” He asked.

“Please, let me explain and then I’ll go.” I said quietly.

He took a step back from his door and I hurried inside. He shut it and then turned around and crossed his arms. I sat on his couch but he didn’t make a move to come sit with me so I awkwardly stood back up.

“So? Explain.” He said angrily, “It’s true, right?”

“Yes.” I said. My throat suddenly felt really dry, “But you and I were…we’d had that fight on Christmas and I hadn’t heard from you until that night. I was sure you were going to dump me and I was upset and sad. I was going to tell you about what happened.”

“So…your excuse for sleeping with that guy is that you were sad?” Mike laughed coldly and walked to his kitchen to lean up against the counter and put the kitchen island between us, “Are you serious right now?”

“We weren’t together, Mike.”

“So, you’d be totally okay if I went out and slept with someone else during that week?” He asked.

I didn’t say anything.

“You don’t believe that’s a valid reason, Faith.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No you don’t or you never would have planned to tell me in the first place like you claim. If you really didn't think that we were together then you never would've felt obligated to tell me about it.”

Mike had a point and it forced me to be honest, not just with him but also with myself. I started crying.

“Oh, come on!” Mike yelled. He turned around and leaned his hands on the counter and put his head down so he didn’t have to look at me.

I walked over to him and tried to get him to look at me. He shrugged me off and backed away.

“No, Faith, you don’t get to cry about this! You’re not the one who was hurt here.”

“That isn’t fair, Mike.” I said through tears, “If you’d backed me up in that argument with Maggie, we never would have been on a break. We never would have fought! You didn’t stand up for me so of course it makes sense that I would’ve gone out and found someone who made me feel loved…even if it was just for a few minutes. I di-”

“I cannot believe you are comparing me not standing up for you in an argument to you cheating on me! Especially when it involved my entire family who had only just met you! They are not even remotely the same, Faith. I could maybe understand if I’d cheated on you first but I didn’t! I have been faithful to you because I love you!”

“I made a mistake, Mike, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“You don’t get it!” He yelled, “You’re it, Faith. You’re the only one.”

I looked at Mike with confusion.

“You’re the only girl I’ve…I’ve had other girlfriends but you’re the only one I fell in love with. Ever.”

He looked embarrassed.

“I….you never said any-”

“Do you have ANY idea how big of a deal it was for me to tell you that I was in love with you!? This was the longest and best relationship I've ever had," Mike's anger seemed to deflate at that and was replaced with insurmountable sadness, "...how could you do this?”

I stood there with tears streaming down my face; I had no idea what to say. Mike walked back to his door and grabbed the coat hanging on the back of it. He reached into one of the pockets and slammed a small velvet box on the kitchen island in front of me.

I slowly looked up from the box to Mike. He was looking at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. I walked up to him and put my hands on his chest.

“It meant nothing.” I looked into his eyes so he could see how much I meant what I was saying but as I kept talking he just shook his head and moved me away from him. I started talking with more urgency, “I regret all of it. I should’ve told you the day we had coffee but I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want to lose you. I love you Mike, my life is not the same without you in it.”

He backed away from me, still shaking his head, and took some shaky breaths.

“Faith, I need you to leave now, okay?”

“No. No, please, Mike, don’t do this.” I said, I panicked and sat down at his dining table and refused to move, “We can talk about it. We can get counseling. Please.”

I started sobbing and rocking back and forth.

“I’m going to take a few days to think about everything. Please don’t try to contact me.” He said.

“Mike, please don’t leave. Just talk to me. Please.”

He grabbed the ring box, his jacket, and his keys and left me in his apartment sobbing. I waited for hours but he never came back.