New Year's

I woke up yesterday with a bad feeling but I couldn’t just cover my head with my blanket and stay in bed because I’m an adult and I have a hungry cat to feed and bills to pay. New Year’s Eve is our biggest night at Bruno’s and I really needed the money I’d be making by working (double time + tips) but I just couldn’t shake the bad feeling I had. I dressed with tips in mind and wore a sexy gray tank with no bra and a tight pencil skirt that went to mid-thigh with some black oxford booties.

Mike still hadn’t called me and I sighed as I checked my phone before clocking in for the night: No missed calls.

“Faith? What’s going on?” Cara said.

“Mike and I aren’t together anymore.” I said.

“Oh, really? I’m so sorry, Faith. I thought you guys made a nice couple.” She gave me a hug.

“Thanks, it happened on Christmas Eve and it’s just been…really hard.”

Cara and I talked for a few more minutes before heading into the bar and getting ready for the New Year’s crowds. Brad was stocking the bar and gave me a weird look but didn’t say anything.

A few hours later, we were so busy that Bruno had to come from the back and help us pour drinks. During some down time, I took my break and checked my phone. I had a text from Mike:

               “We need to talk. Can you come by my place when you get off work?”

I sent him a text saying that I could but it would probably be really late since I had to close. I immediately felt my heart sink; I knew what was coming and just wanted to craw in a hole. Any other plans for New Year’s would have been better than making an appointment to be dumped by my boyfriend after the busiest shift of the year. My break was almost over and the bar was crazy so I couldn’t wallow in self-pity for too long.

Cara was supposed to help us close but she slipped and fell in the stockroom and Bruno took her to the ER (she’s okay, it’s just an ankle sprain) which meant Brad and I were on our own for closing. Once last call was announced, people started filtering out and I started wiping down tables while Brad collected glasses.

It took us forever to clean the bar, let alone put everything away in the stockroom. I thought we’d never get done. We were both in the stockroom, finishing up inventory, when I got done I went to leave but Brad stopped me.

“Faith? I heard you and Cara talking about what happened with you and Mike. I’m sorry. I know you know Angel and I broke up awhile ago…”

“Thanks, I’m sorry, too.” I said sadly. I started crying, it was all too much.

Brad pulled me in for a hug and we just stood in the stockroom and held each other. But then Brad was kissing me. I pulled away, angry, and slapped him.

“What the HELL, Brad!?”

“What!? This is prefect, Faith. We’re both single now. We can get back together.”

He put his hands on my hips and pulled me to him. I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly realized that Brad had been waiting for me…and I felt terrible about it.

“Brad, we were never together. Not in the way you wanted to be. We went out on one date and it ended very badly.”

“Yeah, because of me. But I forgive you for that. I don’t care about what happened before.”

I pulled away from him again.

“But I do…Mike and I haven’t even officially broken up yet. I’m supposed to go meet him now.”

“Come on, Faith, you guys are over! He doesn’t deserve you!”

“How dare you! You know nothing about my relationship! Maybe he wants to get back together!”

“Oh, please! Like he’s going to take you back? He doesn’t think you’re special.”

I was hurt but what’s even worse is that Brad was echoing all of the doubts I’d been having since Christmas Eve. He put his hand on my face but I turned away from him.

“So, you thought that, what? I’d realize my mistake by dating him and go out with YOU?” I said angrily.

“There was a time when you did want to go out with me! I’m the one that called that off!”

“Yeah, I dodged a bullet there!” I yelled.

Brad and I stared at each other, we were both angry. And then somehow we were kissing. He pushed me up against the metal stock room door and pulled my shirt down so he could suck on and play with my nipples. He roughly tugged my skirt up around my waist and put his hand under my thong between my legs. I started moving my hips and pushed his leather jacket off before undoing his belt. I slipped my hand down into his boxers and started stroking him. He was rock hard in just a few seconds. Then things took a much rougher turn.

I undid his pants and he spun me around and pushed me up against the door again. He, literally, ripped off my thong and put it in his pocket before entering me from behind. He was thrusting very hard, my breasts were being rammed into the cold, metal door and he was pulling my hair. I’ve never had sex that was so violent before, but I liked it. His hands moved down and gripped my thighs, his fingers digging into my skin to hold me while he thrust his hips forward. After a few minutes he finished and slowly let go of me. He slipped out of me and put his hands on either side of me against the door. I slowly turned around and looked at him. We were out of breath. He moved one of his hands to my face and kissed me again. When he pulled away we both started laughing.

He pulled his pants up and I moved my skirt down and readjusted my shirt.

“Don’t forget your jacket.” I said awkwardly.

I left quickly after that and walked toward the bus. I sent Mike a text:

“Can we meet later tomorrow, I’m really tired from work.”

He was okay with it but I felt bad about lying. I could have gone over to Mike’s apartment and listened to him while he dumped me just to get it over with but I didn’t want to do that with the smell of Brad and sweaty bar sex coming off of me. I got home and immediately took a shower. I had a really hard time sleeping. The guilt from sleeping with Brad was overwhelming. Not only was it stupid of me to have slept with him while Mike and I weren’t officially broken up (but we ARE on a break so is it really cheating? I don’t know) but I’ve basically lead him on to believe that us being a couple is a possibility…again.

It’s amazing how I keep getting myself into these situations over and over again. Mike and I are meeting at a coffee shop in an hour and I am not looking forward to being dumped in public.