To Tell or Not to Tell

“I need to tell you something, but I want you to promise you’ll let me finish before you start yelling.” I said.

I was sitting at the table, staring at my hands, not sure if I really wanted to come clean about the Brad situation.

I’m a coward and didn’t want to tell Mike until I’d run it by the girls first. We were having brunch.

“Okay.” Zoey said skeptically. Anna and Molly nodded.

“I had sex with Brad while Mike and I were on a break. Now Brad has quit and it’s because of me and I feel SO guilty about everything. I haven’t told Mike and I don’t know if I should or not.”

I took a deep breath and braced myself. The girls looked at each other in silence.

“Oh, Faith.” Anna said. The disappointment in her voice was clear.

“Why?” Zoey asked exasperatedly.

“I was sad and I was sure Mike and I were done, I hadn’t heard from him in a week…I…I don’t even really remember how it all happened but it did and I am being eaten up on the inside with guilt.”

“Do you even know if that’s why Brad left?” Molly asked.

 I opened my mouth to answer but then realized I didn’t know.

“I’m pretty sure.”

“But you don’t actually know if that’s the reason?”

“Well…no…but-”

“Maybe you should call him and see if that’s actually the case. He could’ve just left for a better job.” Molly said.

I realized Molly was right. Knowing if Brad really DID leave because of what happened would assuage my guilt a little bit but not all of it.

“Even if he didn’t leave, what should I do about Mike? Should I tell him?”

“Would you want to know if he slept with someone during your break?” Anna asked.

“Yes and no.” I replied.

“Why?” Zoey asked.

“Well…because I’d want to know but at the same time it would break my heart. I don’t know that I would want to break up for good, though…”

“It looks like you have your answer.” Anna pointed out.

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it just be better to not tell him and put him through the pain of it all?”

“Better? Or easier?” Zoey asked.

She had a point. Not telling Mike was certainly the easier route but it’s also the more dishonest one, too. I still haven’t made a decision about whether or not to tell him but I am definitely going to get in touch with Brad and try to get some kind of closure for what happened. I also need to apologize to him for being so inconsiderate to his feelings.