Chicken

Mike and I were sitting on his couch watching a movie. I was curled up next to him with my head on his shoulder, his arm was wrapped around me. I sighed deeply, enjoying the moment. Things were like the fight at Christmas never happened. But then the guilt crashed over me, ruining the happiness of the moment. I was lying to him. It must have showed on my face because Mike raised his eyebrows at me.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“You look like you’ve been thinking about something…something that’s bothering you. You get this little crease between your eyebrows and it’s super adorable but also usually means something is wrong.”

“Oh. No, I’m okay.” I said, “The movie is just sad.”

“Faith, it’s Easy A. Sad is like the absolute opposite of what this movie is.”

I sighed and sat up.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“It’s really been bothering me and the only reason I haven’t told you is because I’m worried that it’ll hurt you and I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Okay…?” Mike said with concern, he turned his body to me and waited.

“I…I…Brad quit with no notice and I’m sad about it.” I said. I hated myself for chickening out.

“Oh.” Mike said he pulled me in for a hug, “Why did you think that would upset me?”

“Because I know that you feel sad when I feel sad and because we haven’t been able to spend as much time together since I’ve been working as the head bartender in his place lately. I just…I miss you….and I miss him, he made the bar easier to work at.”

“Is that why you’ve been working so much?” He asked.

I nodded.

“It’s only temporary, though. Bruno said he’d find someone else since I don’t want to do it…it conflicts too much with my stage managing work.”

“Ah, I’m sorry Faith,” he said rubbing my arm, “I know you and Brad were friends. It’s weird that he just up and left, too, with no goodbyes.”

“Yeah, everyone is so confused.” I said.

“Well, it’s okay, we’ll work through this together. Once Bruno hires his new person, you won’t be under so much stress with the show rehearsals and such.”

(Ed offered me the stage management position for the next show at the theatre, it opens at the end of February which is ridiculous but we’ll get it done, my schedule is just going to be insane)

I snuggled into Mike’s chest and felt relief until I realized that I had basically just lied to him again AND somehow got him to feel sorry for me for having the guy I cheated on him with leave the bar.

I am a terrible person.

Speaking of Brad…he has not answered any of my texts or calls so I either go down to the record shop where he works or I just wait until he decides to get in touch with me. This makes me 100% positive that him leaving had EVERYTHING to do with me.