I was supposed to go out with Randy tonight but I cancelled on him. To be honest I completely forgot until he showed up at my door to pick me up.
“Hey.” He said, his smile fading from his face when he saw me dressed in my pajama pants and light hoodie.
“Oh my God…I totally forgot about our date tonight.”
“That’s okay, I’ll wait for you to get ready.”
“Actually…can we do a rain check? I’m not feeling all that great right now.”
“Oh, well I’ve heard the flu is starting to make the rounds, did you get a flu shot?”
“No.” I said.
Randy told me to get better and brought me some soup about an hour ago but I’m not feeling sick. I just feel horrendously guilty about what happened with Sean and didn’t feel like trying to hide the overwhelming guilt from Randy. I can’t talk to anyone about this. If I told any of the girls they would freak out and tell me how crazy I am for sleeping with him again.
Not only that, but Sean called me yesterday. I didn’t answer and he didn’t leave a message. I think it would have been a bad decision to answer. I can’t hide forever, though. Right now I’m debating on whether or not I should tell Randy what happened but I’m honestly so embarrassed and ashamed about it. I’m leaning towards not telling him, at least not until I can figure out what I need to do to deal with everything.
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