Tension

I woke up unsure if everything from the night before had really happened until I realized I was in Sean’s bedroom. My heart sank a little when I realized that it wasn’t all a dream. When I walked out of the bedroom Sean was sitting at his computer with a cup of coffee.

“Morning.” I said unsure of what kind of mood he was going to be.

“Hey.” He said looking over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at some management offers we got a few days ago.”

“Sean, look-”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, you’re upset.”

“Faith, I’m going to be mad for awhile. It’s going to take me some time to feel comfortable trusting you again.”

He sighed and then turned back to the computer.

“Sean, I don’t know how to act around you. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I feel like I can’t talk to you.”

Sean spun around in the chair and gestured for me to come over and sit on his lap. He put his arms around my waist when I sat down and kissed my cheek.

“I want you to talk to me Faith. If you talked to me more I don’t think we’d have this problem, right now. The truth is I am still angry with you but I don’t want you to feel like I’m about to go off over any small thing. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me things. I’m more hurt than mad that you felt like you needed to keep something so big a secret.”

“But you understand why I did it, right?”

“Yeah, you thought I’d track Gerry down and hurt him.”

“It’s a little more than that, too.”

“Oh?”

“Sean, ever since we started dating, Gerry has been trying to make you decide between me and the band. You know I would never make you choose, I would rather break up with you than make you choose. Gerry coming over and doing what he did was a way to make you choose, even if he wasn’t consciously aware of it. I knew that if I told you it would give Gerry what he wants. You would either choose me and Gerry would get to tout how uncommitted you are to the band and how he was right all along or you would choose the band and Gerry would have his perfect career plan. Me not telling you about it was a way to protect you from being forced to choose.”

Sean was quiet for awhile while he thought about what I said.

“You have to know that I was going to tell you. I was going to do it after my birthday. I didn’t expect you to find out while I was talking to a police officer.”

Sean laughed.
“I don’t think that’s how anyone expects to find out about something like that.”

“Fair enough.” I giggled.

There was a knock on Sean’s door and we both stood up. I went into the kitchen to feed Murphy while Sean answered the door.

“Guy? What’s going on?” Guy walked in the door and immediately started talking.

“We’ve got a problem, man. Gerry’s been committed to a psychward.”

“What? Slow down.”

“He’s been in a hospital on a psych hold since our last gig. I just got a call from his daughter, he wasn’t there because he was checking himself into the hospital.”

“Gerry has a daughter?”

“That was my first thought, too. Apparently she hasn’t seen or heard from him in 12 years, she figured he died. Gerry gave them her phone number when he was admitted. She phone my number in his phone and called it.”

“Whoa. Wait, I thought Jake talked to him when he didn’t show for our last gig?”

“He did, but it must have been before Gerry checked himself in. His daughter says that he’s not going to be released for awhile. He tried to kill himself last night, man.”

Sean sat down on a chair while Guy paced around the front door. I didn’t know what to do but ultimately decided to go and comfort Sean. Guy barely noticed I was there because he was so panicked.

“His daughter wants to sign Gerry’s power of attorney over to one of us so we can make health decisions for him.”

“What!?” Sean looked up.

“His daughter doesn’t know anything about him, she wants to wash her hands of it and go back to thinking he’s dead.”

“That’s so sad.” I whispered without thinking.

“I think you should do it.” Guy said looking at Sean.

“What? No way! I can’t.”

“I can’t either, and you know no one else is going to step up.”

“Where is he, exactly?”

“He’s in a hospital three states over.”

“No way! Absolutely not! None of us can do that! His daughter is going to have to find someone else. I can’t move three states over.”

“Sean, he’s been with us from the beginning, we can’t just abandon him.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Guy. Gerry and I have been fighting for months; it would be a conflict of interest for me to make medical decisions for him.”

Guy sat down next to Sean, they were both in shock and seemed to be trying o find a way out of this impossible situation. After awhile, Guy sighed and sadly nodded his head.

“I’ll go tell his daughter we can’t help her…or him. It’s just not…”

“Okay, I’ll call the label and let them know, they’ll be able to set us up with a temporary manger.”

And with that Guy left. I rubbed Sean’s back and tried to comfort him as best he could. I had a feeling he felt a little responsible for what has happened to Gerry. We sat in silence for a long time before Sean got up to make some phone calls. He’s been pretty quiet since then but I heard him call his therapist and set up an extra appointment. I’m sad for Gerry but I’m proud of Sean for coping with this the healthy way.