Burn

I just got off the phone with my mother. She’s upset that I wasn’t able to come home for Thanksgiving and has demanded that I come home for Christmas…and that I bring Sean. It wouldn’t be my mother though without a huge guilt trip for not telling her about him and having to find out from my brother instead. She’s known since August and has basically been stewing about it ever since. In case I tried to wiggle out of coming home or bringing Sean she bought us both tickets. We leave on the 17^th of December. Joy.

It’s not that I don’t love my parents or that I’m embarrassed of Sean, it’s just that my parents can be overwhelming for people who don’t understand them. It’s even worse on holidays because my mother’s extended family is absolutely crazy and I hate visiting them. Luckily, my dad’s side of the family, which is equally as crazy, doesn’t live anywhere near my parents so I just have to put up with my mother’s side during the holidays. I feel pretty bad about not coming home for Thanksgiving especially since my brother is in Afghanistan, but I simply didn’t have the vacation time to make it to both Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially with the recent couple of days I took off for my concussion. This Christmas is probably going to be even more chaotic than normal because of the fact that my brother won’t be there.

I got off the phone right when Sean walked in the door with a bag of groceries.

“So, it’s official, I’m bringing you home with me for the holidays.” I said going to help him put the groceries away.

“Sweet.” He said opening the pantry to put a bag of pretzels away, “How much do I owe your mom for the ticket?”

“Don’t bother; she won’t take your money anyway.”

“So what should I get your parents for Christmas?” Sean asked.

“Well, they’re kind of hard to buy for.” I said.

“Hmm, I guess we’ll just have to go shopping together. I’m a pro at giving gifts and you can poin out the stuff they might like.”

“Okay.”

“It’s a date, then.” Sean said smiling.

I smiled back and continued putting the groceries away. I think Sean knows that I’m aware of his panic about his situation with Kevin and I’ve been trying to think of a way to help him but I can’t afford to pay for his lawyer fees and mine and I don’t think Sean would let me do that anyway. I feel so stuck and I can’t imagine how Sean is feeling. I’ve heard him talking to Lou on the phone some more and things just seem really dire for him. I tried to breach the subject of Paul.

“So, since we’re leaving on the 17^th do you think you’ll want to do some sort of Christmas thing with your brother?” I said trying to sound nonchalant.

Sean stiffened.

“He’s probably busy.” He said noncommittally.

“You haven’t even checked with him to see what his plans are or if you can hang out with him for the holidays?”

“We don’t really talk, Faith.”

“Oh. Why?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

I was a little stung by how clipped Sean’s answer was but I decided to drop it. We didn’t really talk much for the rest of the night.