Sunday, December 6, 2009

Deadly Sins

I had to stay late for work the day before Thanksgiving which put my holiday plans kind of behind. As I went to clear off my desk and grab my coat I felt someone behind me, thinking it was Dean who was coming to pick me up for dinner. Dean wrapped his arms around me from behind and started kissing my neck and slipping off my coat.

“We can't….not at my job,” I whispered. I turn around to start kissing Dean when I realized it was actually Kevin, “What are you doing!?”

“Getting what I want, you know you want this too, just let it happen.” Kevin inched my skirt up and sat me on top of my desk.

“My boyfriend is coming here to pick me up,” I said in between kissing him and straddling my legs around him. I lost all decision making skills and before I knew it his pants were unzipped, my shirt was open, and my desk was a total mess.

When we were done and I was putting my clothes back on Kevin said, “I left my fiancĂ©e.”

I stood there speechless and unsure of what to do, that's when I woke up panting really hard and unsure of what my dream meant. Part of me felt like I had just cheated on Dean through my subconscious and I had a wave of guilt engulf me. The next morning I met with Elise and Zoey for breakfast and told them about my dream.

“Hey, it's cool we all have those kinds of dreams,” Elise said drinking a glass of juice.

“Seriously, it's not that big of a deal, it doesn't mean anything,” Zoey reached across the table for some pepper to put on her scrambled eggs and looked at me with confusion.

Apparently my friends thought I was crazy. “What if it means I actually want to be with Kevin? That makes me a home wrecker and I really would like to avoid being one of those. Of all the goals I’ve set for myself that was never one of them.”

“Well, do you want o be with Kevin?” Zoey looked at me pointedly and took a bite of toast.

“I don't know anymore, if you'd have asked last week I would have said, 'definitely not,' but now…”

“Look, why don't you just have sex with Kevin.” Zoey and I both looked at Elise awestruck, “What? Just have some great sex, get it over with and then you can go back to Dean. You'll probably stop thinking about Kevin after you have hot steamy sex with him, it's pretty much a done deal. You only want him because he's hot. I mean, we know he's a jerk and is willing to cheat on someone he proposed to, so those qualities make him unattractive but you still want to jump his bones, so it must be lust.”

Zoey turned her head to me and said, “She has a point."

“What? You agree that I should cheat on Dean?”

“No, I agree that you are lusting after Kevin. I mean, what other redeeming characteristics does this dude have?”

“Well he has beautiful blue eyes and thick brown hair. He has a great smile and we have a lot in common. He's a great kisser...”

Zoey stopped me and pointed out that the majority of my list made up physical traits.
“You're right; I'm just lusting after him because I can't have him. I can totally get over that, it should be simple.” I grabbed a bagel and started to dig in while Zoey and Elise exchanged credulous looks, I decided to ignore them. This was going to be simple. Right?

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