Holy Cow

Dean and I were laying in bed after a particularly steamy sack session when he started playing with my hair.

“Faith, I need to be honest with you about something.”

I warily looked at him and tried to figure out what was coming.

“I don’t think we can see each other anymore.”

I pulled away and looked at him shocked, “I thought things were going really well between us. Is there something going on? I mean I thought- I enjoy spending time with you.”

“Faith, I like you a lot and I really do want to be with you, but I just can’t.”

“Why, I want to be with you too, why isn’t that enough?”

“I don’t really want to talk about why we can’t be together. We just can’t.”

I started getting angry, “I deserve an explanation!”

Dean sighed and looked really tired, like he’d been struggling with his decision for awhile, “Faith, I’m going to become a priest. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you’d freak out about it.”

I stared at him in disbelief, “A priest!? How is that even possible? You’ve just made sure that I’m going to Hell!” I screamed as I wrapped myself as tightly as I could in my sheets and tumbled out of bed and away from him.

“Faith it’s not like that. I take a celibacy vow when I enter the seminary next week, you’ve done nothing wrong. I just…I found my calling…”

“I need you to leave…immediately. I can’t really look at you right now so I’m going to go into my bathroom and close the door, when I come back out you need to be gone.”

I stumbled into my bathroom trapped in my sheets and slammed the door. I didn’t move from my bathroom for about 30 minutes and when I finally came out any trace of Dean had disappeared from my apartment. I crawled into bed and started crying.