Another Unexpected Visitor

Molly and I have settled back into our apartment. It was cleaned and made as good as before but the memories of what happened will never be gone and we’ve actually talked about moving into a new apartment since our lease will be up in January. Molly wants to move out as soon as possible, though, and our landlord has been understanding enough to not charge us a ton to break the lease.

Molly and I were scheduled to go look at apartments later today. She was still at work and the company we were using to help us find apartments was going to send over an agent to escort us to all of the places we’d selected. When I heard a knock at our door, I’d assumed it was the apartment escort but they were at least an hour and a half early; Molly wasn’t due back from work for another hour.

When I opened the door it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

“Oh my God.”

Seeing Mike standing on the other side of the door brought up so many emotions. I felt like crying, I felt excited, all the feelings I’d had for him had come back. He immediately walked into my apartment and hugged me.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I heard what happened and I came by, like, six times to see you but your neighbor said you were staying with a friend.” He said hurriedly.

He came out of the hug with his hands on my sides and looked me over.

“Is it broken?” He asked looking at my arm.

For a second I didn’t answer because I was so caught off guard by his presence in my apartment and for finding myself being hugged by him.

“Um, uh, no. I just popped it out of socket.” I said pulling myself together.

He pulled me into a hug again.

“When I’d heard what happened, I was so scared that you weren’t okay.”

“I-I’m fine.” I said coming out of the hug, “It’s good to see you.”

And then I was crying. It caught Mike off guard and we sat down on my couch.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “It’s just been a very emotionally-taxing week.”

Mike held my hand and looked at me with concern. I leaned into him until I stopped crying and he stroked my head. Once things calmed down a bit we were both very aware of each other. I slowly looked up at him and our eyes connected.

“I miss you all the time.” I said.

And then he kissed me with one of those kisses I missed so much; the ones that make me go weak at the knees. We quickly became a tangle of arms and legs on my couch but Mike stopped and sat up.

“I’m sorry, Faith. I can’t…”

I sat up with my hair a mess and my shirt off-kilter.

“We don’t have to, we could just try dating again an-”

“I’m seeing someone.” He said.

I felt like a bomb had been dropped. I had never imagined that my heart could have felt more broken after Mike and I ended things but I was wrong. I tried to smooth my hair and stay composed but it was hard to do when my insides felt like they were going to explode with the emotional pain I was feeling.

“O-oh.” I said sitting next to him, “Um. Con-congratulations. She’s really lucky.”

I tried to keep it together but my voice cracked at “really” and Mike looked at me with the strongest air of pity I’ve ever seen.

“Um. Well. Thank you for coming to check on me. I really AM fine. It was good to see you.” I said standing up and walking to the door. I held it open for him and waited for him to leave.

“Faith, I’m sorry. I didn’t come over here to hurt you. I just wanted to see you and make sure you were really okay.”

“Couldn’t be better!” I said trying to hold back tears and urging him out the door.

He left and I sat on the floor with my back to the door. I took 15 minutes to cry it out and then pulled myself together so I could go apartment hunting with Molly when she got home.

In a way, I’m kind of glad that Mike is seeing someone. He deserves to move on and find someone who isn’t stupid enough to sleep with someone else while they’re with him. And I need to focus on myself and be alone. I still have that 6 month no-dating ban as one of my therapy goals and I don’t want to go back on that. The ban is actually working out really well for me because this situation could’ve gotten a lot messier if I had thrown it out the window and started dating Adam when I first went to see him. It’s clear to me that I made the best decision giving myself time to be by myself. I clearly need to focus on my life without the added boy drama.