I know I haven’t written in a while and there’s a reason for
that which I will talk about in my next post but right now I have to tell you
guys about Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving was…interesting.
When I told my parents about what happened, it was hard and
they were terrified but I did it a few weeks after everything had happened
(they wanted to know why Molly and I were moving….by the way, Molly and I moved
which I’ll tell you about in my next post). I would’ve had to tell them at some
point since I was still wearing my sling when I went home for Thanksgiving and
I felt like waiting to spring it on them at the airport was the wrong way to
go. My mom’s reaction to it all can basically be summed up as a major
freak-out. She kept it together until I actually got home from the airport and
then all the crazy came out.
“You’re moving home and living with me and your dad. End of
discussion.”
“What? No I’m not. I just moved!” I said.
“It is too dangerous for you to live in that city, young
lady! You need to come home and live with us so you can be safe.”
“Dad! Are you going to say anything!?” I said turning to my
dad angrily.
He didn’t say anything which made me even angrier.
“Mother, I am a grown adult. I am NOT moving back here and
uprooting my entire life so you can helicopter over me all day and night.”
That started a huge fight, which is something you should
always strive for around the holidays, it doesn’t make things awkward at all
(just kidding! It’s the worst!).
“Oh, please, Faith! Your life would be exactly the same if
you moved here. It’s not like you have a career.” My mom spat.
“Excuse me!?” I was hurt and didn’t know what else to say.
It’s one thing to have people like Brad not believe in you or your career goals
but it’s another thing altogether when it’s your MOM.
“You’re doing nothing with your life! You are wasting all of
your potential and putting yourself in dangerous situations! You need to move
home and live with us so we can take care of you and get you back on track.”
“Back on track for what!?”
My mom let out a groan of frustration.
“I am twenty seven years old. You can’t just tell me what to
do anymore!” I yelled, “I am not moving back in with you and dad.”
“Well we won’t be taking you to the airport!” She screamed.
“FINE! I’ll take a cab!”
“Oh no you won’t! I cancelled your ticket. You’ll be staying
here!”
“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!” I screamed at her.
I decided to remove myself from the fight and walked away.
I went out into the back yard to cool off. I was absolutely
livid. My mom thought it was completely reasonable that once I landed she would
never let me leave to go back to my life. She was basically trying to kidnap
me. As if me not having any friends, my job, or my therapist, or pets was
totally not an issue. My dad slinked outside and put his arm around my
shoulder.
“She’s just worried about you. She only said those things to
try and make you stay.”
“That’s her problem.” I said angrily, “She can’t just expect
me to uproot my entire life so SHE can feel better. She’s making this about
HER! This didn’t even happen to her! The way she’s acting you’d think it did!
If she’s worried about MY wellbeing then why am I the only one in this
situation who has their entire life changed? Forcing me to move back here
against my will would be the absolute worst thing she could do to me. She is
being COMPLETELY unreasonable.”
“I’ll talk to her, okay? And I’ll buy you a new ticket.” He
said.
My mom and I barely spoke until Thanksgiving Day when she
put on a show and pretended everything was fine because my brother was there
with Lisa, his new girlfriend, and we can’t let on that we aren’t a perfect
family in front of strangers (eye roll). I was irritated all throughout dinner and decided
to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. I don’t think I spoke more than 10
words.
My brother pulled me aside after Thanksgiving dinner and
asked me what I thought of Lisa.
“She’s okay, I guess. Why?”
“I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
I gave him a hug and he showed me the ring. It’s beautiful.
He hasn’t asked her yet and isn’t sure when he is going to but you guys! My
brother is going to get married!!!!
My parents did their 30th wedding vow renewal
while all of us were home and it was lovely. We did it in their back yard the
day after Thanksgiving. A lot of extended family members were there and I was
doing okay until I heard my mom telling them that I would be moving home soon
at the punch table. My hands balled up into fists and I saw red. I decided to
retire to my room for the rest of the evening and pack my suitcase for my
flight the next day.
When it was time for me to leave, my mom didn’t go with me
to the airport to say good-bye like my dad did. She refused to come out of her
bedroom to say good-bye before I left, too. So, things with my mom are going
great!
(Author's note: a surprise post might be showing up at some point this week so check back often! -del)
(Author's note: a surprise post might be showing up at some point this week so check back often! -del)
Glad to hear about the maybe surprise post. Want so much more info!! Can't believe how her mom was behaving. And then to tell others she was moving home. Like if she says it enough it will come true! Jeez! mum
ReplyDeleteBeing a mother myself, I can totally empathize with where Faith’s mom is coming from. First of all, my kid gets hurt in any way, shape or form, my default mode is to protect (think mother Grizzly bear). I would so want to wrap my kid up in bubble wrap and lock them in the basement where the big bad world could never hurt them again. Not very practical but that would be my first instinct and that instinct never goes away, no matter how old your kid is. Secondly, as a mom, I would have been devastated not only by the fact that my daughter had been attacked by a nut job who had been stalking her for years and almost succeeded in killing a friend of hers earlier in the day but that she had waited an entire week to tell me and only because it was obvious she couldn't avoid not telling me. I have a feeling her parents were completely clueless regarding the entire situation regarding the fires. Had I been in a similar situation, my heart would have broken over the fact that my kid felt they couldn’t come to me with something as traumatic as that. Had I been in Faith’s shoes, I can’t imagine not telling my parents immediately. I probably would have called them from the hospital.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, Faith is not a child. She is an adult and this is how she chooses to live her life. She has chosen to not include her parents in what is going on in her life for some reason, probably because her mother overreacts in a crisis and treats Faith like she is incapable of making her own decisions. If this happened to my child, I sincerely hope that I would offer support and a crap load of hugs. Your kid almost gets killed, you don’t tell them that they are basically useless and have to be taken care of.
Faith's parents were in the loop about the fire, though. They helped her out when she lost all of her stuff and bought her a laptop and a bed and stuff to replace the things that had been destroyed in the fire.
DeleteYeah, her parents were aware of everything that happened regarding her apartment fire, loss of murphy, etc. I don't think she told them about the suspicious fires, but seriously, 27 year old adults don't owe their parents every detail of their life anymore.
DeleteMy fiance and I recently got engaged and I've realized how involved in our lives my parents are trying to be. We are putting our foot down now and taking a step back on what they are privy to. Just like I don't get to make my parents' life decisions, they don't get to make mine.