“How are you accidentally dating Brad now? Didn’t you and
Mike break up less than a month ago?” Anna asked.
“Yes.” I sighed, “And, apparently we’re dating now because I
slept with him….again. He made me feel SO guilty about our entire friendship and he would not leave me alone about us dating. But maybe it'll work. He was right, we never did give our relationship a chance.”
Molly had invited Zoey and Anna over for lunch and also to
talk about what happened with Brad. We’d stopped to get some deli sandwiches
from a place around the corner and a movie from a RedBox.
“Faith, you can’t stay with him out of pity or guilt.” Zoey said.
“Guys, I don’t know what to do, okay? We’ve been on three
dates and I have tried to tell him that sleeping with him was a mistake but I
either feel too bad to tell him or he changes the subject when I bring it up.”
“What is this dude’s deal?” Molly asked.
“He is convinced I have feelings for him and that I’m just in
denial about it. Every time I have tried to explain this to him he just doesn’t
believe me. He thinks we’re meant to be together and won’t take no for an
answer. I’ve tried to let him down easy. I’ve tried to be blunt and very clear.
He doesn’t want to hear it.”
“You’ve got to dump him, Faith. The longer this goes on the
more he’ll just accuse you of leading him on. You can’t FORCE yourself to love
him.” Anna said.
“I know.” I sighed sadly.
“Or you could keep dating him.” Molly said with an evil look
on her face.
“What?” I said reaching for a pickle, “That is the opposite
of what I want.”
“No, listen…if he won’t take no for answer and truly believes you guys are meant to be together, then make him be
the one that ends it.”
“What?”
“Look, if he won’t believe that you don’t have feelings for
him then destroy his feelings for you. Sabotage the relationship to the point
where HE dumps YOU. I don't see how you'll be able to get rid of him any other way.”
“That’s…that’s actually a really good idea,” Zoey said, “You
could have him out of your life forever, Faith. He’ll never be able to ruin
another relationship of yours or accuse you of leading him on despite the fact that you have been completely honest about how you feel about him..”
“I AM really good at sabotaging my relationships with men.”
I joked.
“No, really.” Molly said seriously, “If he doesn’t want to
see the truth, then give him the fantasy he wants and then burn it into the
ground by being the worst girlfriend ever. It could be fun to be bad.”
“Guys, that sounds really cruel.” Anna admonished.
“It’s only cruel if he knows about it. And even if he finds
out, he wouldn’t believe it anyway, he’d just tell me I’m in denial about my
feelings…again.” I said, “This is the best plan to get him out of my life
forever.”
“And you’d get to have some REALLY great sex along the way.”
Molly pointed out.
I toasted her with my soda.
“This is true.” I said nodding at her.
“How would you feel if it was the other way around, Faith?”
Anna said.
“Honestly, Anna, that would never be an issue. If someone
told me they didn’t have romantic feelings for me, I would believe them the
first time. I would not beg them to kiss me and try to wear them down until
they relented because they’re sick of arguing.”
“I’m not defending his actions but…”
“Anna, he won’t move on until he ends things on his terms.”
I said firmly.
She sighed, “Okay. I just hope it doesn’t backfire on you.”
“How could it backfire?” I scoffed.
“What if you DO start to develop feelings for him?” She
asked.
“Then no harm no foul, we can ride off into the sunset and be a happy couple or whatever. But I won’t.”
“Why would you want to invest so much time into someone you
don’t even like?” Anna asked.
“I like Brad, Anna, but not the way he wants me to. I don’t
mind spending time with him or being around him. But his hang up on me needs to
stop and I've realized that it never will unless his feelings change. I know that doing this will ruin whatever friendship I may have left with
him but I guess I’m willing to make that sacrifice so we can both move on. I'll be the bad guy, in that regard. And
in the mean time, I’ll use him as a rebound.”
“Is it bad that I’m kind of excited about how much awesome
sex you’re going to have?” Zoey joked.
“No, lord knows I am.”
This is getting straight-up silly. I LOVE it! I don't know if it's going to hurt or help matters, but it's too funny to resist. Nicely done. Faith shouldn't have caved in the first place, though. She's admitted here to her friends how much she LOVES the sex with Brad, so that fact definitely has its part in why she tells him one thing and does another. Nobody who really doesn't want to do something as major as sex gives in just because she's tired of being nagged, begged, etc. I've been in situations like that with turbo-eager-beavers (nearly every woman I know has, at one time or another); all the begging, arguing, harassing, rationalizing, and whatever else in the world won't make a woman go to bed with some guy she doesn't have an interest in going to bed with. Not happening. She obviously isn't THAT repelled by Brad's advances. And, Faith DOES wind up in these situations with other people as well - not just with Brad. While I can't figure out why he'd want to foist his affections on someone who doesn't welcome them, I'm also baffled why she just won't stick to her convictions - other than that she loves having sex with him (per her OWN admission). She's not a victim - she's a willing participant.
ReplyDeleteThings are getting pretty interesting, though.
I think Brad is delusional. He's said that he thinks about what would have happened if he'd reacted differently on their date and I think he's been hung up on Faith ever since, especially with that comment in the last post alluding to why he broke up with his girlfriend. I think he's just been waiting for Faith to end up single and he saw the opportunity when things were going downhill for Faith and Mike on New Year's when things were up in the air and he saw the opportunity for putting the nail in that coffin at the bar on Valentine's Day. He's a predator and he knows exactly what he's doing and how to manipulate Faith.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I think that is because Brad, as another person pointed out on the last post, inserted himself into comforting Faith about Mike. She didn't go to him, he insistently went to her and then came on to her and then was mean to her when she refused his advances.
I don't like him. I think he's been hung up on Faith for a long time and his behavior in all of this shows that. He knows that if he acts like a victim, rather than someone who is manipulating this situation, he can make Faith feel bad or guilty, which we all know has a major effect on what Faith chooses to do.
There is no way he is not delusional. Who just tells someone that they're in denial, repeatedly, when they try to explain that they only have sexual feelings for them? The one in denial in this situation is NOT Faith. I think it's completely valid that she has sexual feelings for him and that's all but this dude just doesn't want to believe her. How can you have a relationship with someone that you don't listen to or trust?
I don't know, Brad's worst crimes are being delusional (about his relationship to/with Faith) and insensitive (dropping that bomb in Mike's lap). IMO, he hasn't done anything bad enough to be f*cked with like this. This would be a great time for Faith to grow a pair and learn how to do the right thing when it actually needs to be done instead of avoiding.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I'm having visions of reading about How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days-type anctics, so who knows.
This. Is. Gonna. Be. Good!!!
ReplyDeleteNobody thinks Brad's being realistic, or acting appropriately here; he seems unstable. But, neither is Faith...and that's who the blog mainly centers on. While it's certainly understandable to have ONLY sexual feelings for someone, ACTING on them is another matter, and that's what she keeps doing - over & over again. Plus, Faith has had unhealthy sexual relationships before with messed-up guys, while she herself is messed-up simultaneously (Sean, Teddy, both at the same time, and more). It's not a good situation for her OR the guy. Readers could think up an endless supply of excuses for why Faith does the things she does with various men, but in "real-life," this type of repeated behavior wouldn't garner her any sympathy. Just because you're heavily sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean it's a good idea to KEEP falling into bed with him/her...especially someone who's exhibiting unsettling, obsessive tendencies and disconnecting with reality. Oddly enough, Brad seems to think he and Faith have a chance, regardless of what she tells him, and how many times she says it. But, in this post she admits to loving the great sex with him (as if that's a reason to stay entangled in a relationship you don't want to be in), plus Faith even figures if she winds up realizing that she DOES have feelings for him, then oh-well: Bonus! This sentiment alone (which she admits here to her friends) - that maybe she'll fall in love with him while playing this game - THAT alone just shows that she really doesn't have the vaguest notion what she's doing, and her and Brad are in for a pretty strange ride. Her actions are completely contradictory to what she's been claiming up until now. Faith's actually thinking that it would be ok for them to fall for each other and stay together, AFTER she's been insisting otherwise.
ReplyDeleteSo, yeah...Del made Brad's character pretty over-the-top these last couple of posts, but it could have gone either way before that. And, Faith's wallowed around in this type of dysfunction too many times before. So, for her, it's a *pattern of behavior* that she keeps repeating with different men. Having a purely sexual relationship with someone is perfectly fine as long as neither person is feeling negative about it, or gets hurt by it, or harbors false hopes for more through it. She's every bit as messed-up and "wrong" in all this as Brad - no question. And, she's an active participant in her own unhappy situation (both with Mike, and Brad). Short of some drastic, dark development in the storyline (no thank you) Brad can't *DO* anything to Faith that she doesn't participate in willingly. She sure doesn't seem to feel particularly threatened or intimidated by the guy she's happily looking forward to (continuing) a sexual relationship with - not to mention a pretend emotional connection. She's eager about it.
But, messy situations are still fun to read about when it's all pretend.
Has anybody thought about how bad it will be when Mike finds about this? Because he will find out.... They have only been broken up a few weeks, and now she is in a relationship (even if it is meant to be sabotaged) with the guy that she cheated on Mike with. She is officially and forever screwing up any chance with mike and will probably make him officially hate her. Oh Faith.... Why??? Why??? I do not like this decision of hers at all! :(
ReplyDelete