Stockroom Dialogues

Brad has been giving me the cold shoulder at work ever since the abysmal ending of our date. And I’m not the only one who has noticed.

“Okay, what is the deal?” Cara said once Brad went to the stockroom during a lull in customers, “Did you guys break up or something?”

“Cara, we were never dating.”

“Sure.” She said unbelievingly, “Then why is he acting like that?”

“He’s just mad at me for something I said.”

“Well, could you do something about it? Because I used to love coming to work and now I hate it, so you need to do something to fix it.”

“I’ll talk to him tonight once our shift is done.” I sighed.

Brad has been making excuses to stay behind when I’m about to leave so he won’t have to ride on the same bus as me, so when I was about to leave and he made some excuse about having to go back to the stock room, I didn’t let it slide. I followed him into the stockroom and took a deep breath.

“Look, Brad, I know you’re angry with me and I want to apologize for what happened. I consider you to be a really great friend and I…just feel really bad about how things happened.”

“I don’t understand why I’m not good enough for you.” He said looking hurt.

“Trust me, it has nothing to do with you, Brad. It has everything to do with me.”

He shook his head unbelievingly.

“Do you remember when I told you about my last boyfriend?” I asked sitting down on a wooden crate.

Brad nodded.

“Well, I didn’t tell you how we met and I think if I DO tell you about that, you might start to believe me when I say it’s not you, it’s me.”

Brad sat down on a crate diagonally from me in a corner.

“Go ahead.” He said crossing his arms.

“Sean and I met at a bar his band was playing at. I had just gotten out of another really bad relationship,” I smiled internally…I certainly follow a pattern, “and we ended up having what I expected to be a one-night stand in the bar bathroom and then in his hotel room. Sean and I started casually having sex and both agreed that it was just going to be sex…no relationship would develop. Well, you know the rest of the story. We obviously weren’t able to keep it casual. I should have learned my lesson but I didn’t and now I’ve hurt you.”

Brad was quiet for awhile.

“You weren’t the only one in our situation Faith. I made the same mistake. I thought we could keep things uncomplicated, too.”

“There is one thing that’s different about what happened with Sean and what happened with you.”

“What?”

“Sean and I weren’t friends when we started all of that up. You and I are. I…miss my friend, Brad. I’m sorry for everything that happened. Can we try to go back to just being friends?”

“I don’t know, Faith. I really care about you.”

“But you can do that as a friend.” I said.

“It goes deeper than that, Faith.” Brad’s face was slightly red.

We were at a crossroads and I had no idea what to say. Brad looked so hurt and I didn’t want to hurt him again. I shook my head sadly.

“Brad, it’s not that I don’t care for you. I do….I just need something that isn’t so complicated. I just want friendship right now, with you. I want a relationship with a man that doesn’t confuse me and make me over think things.”

“You just want to be happy.” Brad said quietly to his shoes.

“Yeah.” I shrugged, “And you being my friend would make me happy.”

“Okay.” He said, “It’s going to take me a little bit, though, okay?”

“Deal.” I said giving him a hug.

On the way home I thought about our conversation and everything that Brad and I have lost. But I’m hoping we can at least salvage our friendship and, at the very least, our working relationship. To be honest, I think Brad is a little relieved about this whole situation, too. Now we can both move on from this. I hope Brad does move on quickly, I hope he finds a girl who is available and doesn’t hurt him.