Friday, January 28, 2011

Reflections and Baby

“I don’t know what to do. This is my first baby shower!”

Molly had called me in a blind panic. Anna had invited her to the baby shower and Molly was touched, but then realized she had absolutely NO idea what to bring since her and Anna are still friendly acquaintances.

“I was going to buy one of those weird diaper cake things-”

“Ew. Cake should never be made out of anything but delicious cake. Now I’m going to think of baby poop receptacles the next time I eat it.”

“Pregnancy is just weird. Anna posted a video of her on Facebook the other day and you can see the baby moving from the outside of her stomach. I gagged.”

Molly laughed. We decided to go in on a diaper cake a few gender-neutral baby outfits, since Anna and Theo have chosen not to know the sex of their baby until it’s born. I’m pretty sure Zoey got a bunch of work friends together and they are going to go in on a food service thing so Anna doesn’t have to worry about cooking for the first two weeks of being a new mom. It’s a pretty cool service. They deliver bulk food items that you freeze and then just pop into the oven but it’s all homemade and healthy. Zoey showed me the brochure, it’s not a done deal but she’s pretty confident enough people will want to help Anna out, especially considering her miscarriage almost a year ago.

“We should get together with Zoey and Anna some time; have a girl’s night before Anna is busy with her new baby.”

“We should.” I said, “I’ll try to schedule something at Anna’s shower when the three of us are there. It seems like we haven’t gotten together FOREVER.”

“Well, you’ve had a lot going on. I don’t think anyone blames you. How’s everything with Sean? Zoey mentioned you were kind of having some problems.”

“Well, we got into a pretty big fight but I’ve started seeing a therapist and Sean is making an effort to be a better listener and communicator so we’re doing pretty good considering everything that’s happened over the past two months. He’s going on tour in March.”

“Oh.”

“For nine months.”

“Ouch. Are you okay?”

“Not really. I never thought about him going on tour. It’s been sort of surreal to think about. I mean when we first got together he was on tour but it wasn’t a big deal because we were just messing around and would only get together when he was in town. Now that we are in a committed relationship it’s kind of scary.”

“I bet. Are you worried about him flirting with other girls?”

“Not really. I feel really secure in my relationship in that regard. I trust Sean completely when it comes to other women. I mean, when he told me that Elise tried to have sex with him I was just pissed at her, not him. He told me immediately after it happened so I guess that counts for something.”

“Wow. I think my biggest problem is not trusting my boyfriends like that. I know I should but I can’t help being so suspicious.”

“I think it depends on the guy. Sean has never given me a reason not to trust him.”

“I just end up dating creeps.”

“I’ve had plenty of those.”

“Do you think you’ve found the person you want to be with forever?” Molly asked half-joking.

“I’m not sure. We’ve had a lot of problems but we’ve been able to work through them. Who knows at this point?”

Molly had to go to a rehearsal so we said goodbye shortly after that conversation. It got me thinking about my relationship with Sean. I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone before but at the same time, he has some pretty serious issues with his anger and not wanting to talk about certain things. I’m not sure Sean is really as comfortable with me as I am with him. Maybe we’ll get to a point where we’ll want to make this more permanent but I’m not sure how soon or far away that moment may be. It’s been a long road, that’s for sure.

10 comments:

  1. Mmmm...wonder if the band's manager, Karen(?), will really start to appeal to Sean during their long tour together. Since she's so similar to Faith in appearance (besides being blonde to Faith's brunette), and she actually seems genuinely nice, he might see Karen as a less-complicated, "fresh-start" version of his relationship with Faith. Many people have a "type" of lover that they're attracted to time and time again. If Karen turns out to fit Sean's ideal, then they could start to form a connection while being away together for such a long period - another potential problem for Faith and him to navigate through. This post just kind of hinted at that. Great writing, Delor.

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  2. May be a bit of a hint to Sean and Karen, but lets not forget Sean's ahh little problem. Maybe that's why Faith trusts him so, lol. Ok so what is a "diaper cake" or do I want to know??

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  3. Yeah...kind of forgot about that unusual problem Sean has of not being able to get down to business with someone he's not in love with. But, I was thinking more along the lines of an emotional betrayal - or involvement - with Karen...rather than a physical one. At least, at first it would start off as only a close emotional connection (but, aren't those the most dangerous types of involvements, anyway?). It'd be a bitch to be in Faith's place if that were going on: knowing something is off with Sean, possibly with Karen or someone else...just that he's becoming more distant and/or evasive. Faith is trusting, but not oblivious - I think she'd be able to pick up on something between Sean and anyone else.

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  4. Sean doesn't seem like the cheating type, plus there is the "problem" that caused months of frustration. So I don't see him jumping into bed with someone while on tour.

    I would be more worried about that work guy becoming more friendly with Faith while Sean is away.

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  5. Witchy, yea I could totally see Sean becoming "emotionally" involved with someone else. He can't seem to talk to Faith, so yea I could see him turning to his manager and becoming involved that way. Yes that is more dangerous, because there is no physcial cheating (although it can lead to it) and it is just hard to handle all the way around.

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  6. Yeah, exactly, Laura. And, so many people (especially men) don't view an emotional connection (even a close one) with someone other than a partner as "cheating", so there's ample time for things to develop before anyone really stops to think about what's happening. Though, like you mentioned, significant emotional sparks between a man and woman can definitely lead to the physical part.

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  7. im a little confused - i didnt start this blog from the beginning, but i'm pretty sure at first Faith and Sean were just sleeping together when he was in town, right? So how is it that he can't have sex with someone he's not in love with? weren't they having sex without even dating in the beginning? and wasn't it until they started a relationship that his problem developed??

    if someone could fill me in, that'd be great - i dont have time (stupid grad school) to start all the way from the beginning, thanks!

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  8. @Adri- Sean was using "supplements" when he and Faith first got together. He stopped taking them when they decided to try a relationship.

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  9. Adri, Kim is right and he never told Faith until the problem came to light, so to speak. You really, really should read from the beginning though...

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  10. thanks ladies!

    i knowwww! its such a good blog im kicking myself for not starting from the beginning.. i will when i have some time off from school , but right now i can barely get through all 20 chapters i have to read for ONE CLASS... shoot me! arg!

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