Well, I’m back! The flight back was kind of hard, if I’m being honest. This trip home reminded me of just how much I miss my family and the security they provide me. I really should make a better effort to see them more often. Christmas was really fun. My brother was able to call us and it just happened to be while we were eating Christmas dinner. My dad put the phones on speaker and it was almost like we were having a normal family dinner with the four of us. My brother is doing well, he’s just bored. It sounds really monotonous but I think the Christmas gifts we sent him will help with that. We sent him a few books and a video game for his DS and of course MOUNTAINS of food. Apparently Shannon (yeah, they’re still together) got him a Kindle to read and sent it to him fully loaded with books and plays for him. You all know how I feel about my brother dating her, it seems everything she does annoys the hell out of me, but I’ll just leave it at that.
My parents loved the gifts Sean and I bought them and Sean sent me a text message thanking me for his gifts and to wish me a Merry Christmas. All of his bandmates also sent me thank you texts, except for Gerry. I was surprised that Karen did, considering I’ve never met her, but it was nice all the same. Sean got me a really nice label maker and a purse I’ve had my eye on for awhile. My parents bought me a Kindle and it is AMAZING. I love it. I love it. I love it.
New Year’s passed fairly smoothly. I didn’t have any plans and it was actually really nice. My mom bought me one of those cheesy New Year’s hats and noisemakers which she used to do when I was in high school. My best friend and I would rent a television series and watch it on New Year’s complete with a party tray and the fancy Welch’s grape juice in the bottles. My mom would even let us drink it out of champagne flutes. We did that until we had a falling out our freshman year of college. But then I met Zoey and we made our own traditions that weren’t nearly as PG. Sean sent me a picture to my phone of him kissing Murphy at midnight since he couldn’t kiss me which made me giggle (Sean graciously offered to take care of Murphy while I was away).
I wish I could say I was a little clearer about how I feel about our relationship but the truth is I’m more confused than ever. We both do things, like what he did with the picture and Murphy for New Year’s that make me think we’re cute and couple-y but then when I think about it even more I wonder if we just do them to go through the motions. I don’t know if there’s any substance to them than just being expected and that bothers me. I know sitting here and moaning about this isn’t going to fix the problem but I’m not sure I’m ready to bring it up to Sean yet. I need to understand how I feel before I even make an attempt to tell him. Maybe Dr. Deerhorn will be able to help me. I’m going to see him tomorrow.
The picture with Murphey did sound cute and coupley. One thing, this is their first Christmas and New Year and they spent it apart. That does say something. And Kindles I don't know if I'd like one or not. Guess I'd have to try it. I'm old fashioned, I like a physical book. lol.
ReplyDeleteThe picture with Murphey made me smile. In my experience if a guy does something sweet like that he isn't just "going through the motions". It almost seems like Faith is looking for a way out because of the panic attack and Kevin situation. I really like Sean so I hope he sticks.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Kindle I have no idea. But I have a Sony eReader and I LOVE it!
i don't really think its a big deal that they spent the holidays apart. For starters, it's their first one. ive been with my boyfriend for four years and we did not spend our first holiday season together. Clearly that was not an indication that something was up - we have since moved cities and live together.
ReplyDeletei think tinkerbellz has an interesting thought though - guys definitely do NOT do something like kiss your cat and send you a pic of it if theyre "going through the motions". Maybe Faith IS looking for a way out. I hope not, but maybe.
Yeah, that (what Tinkerbellz22 suggested about Faith looking for a way out) - or, maybe she's just feeling really insecure about his feelings for her right now. They've been through one crisis after another since getting together, and now Faith knows she's going to have the residual effects of anxiety from the sexual assault to deal with. She may just be questioning if Sean is going to want to muddle through yet one more hurdle with her. After all, she was also wondering if Zoey was tiring of helping her through all the problems of these past couple of months. She's got to be feeling less-than-confident and optimistic about her life circumstances right now...she's all off-balence. Maybe once Faith's back on steadier emotional ground she'll feel more positive about Sean's feelings for her, and their relationship in general. All that stress they've been going through is bound to color their entire outlooks for a while. Maybe just a little time and patience is all that's needed.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is really hard to tell when a relationship is coming to an end of just going through a slump, epically with a newer relationship... I had something else to say but I forgot, I never sign in for anything other than to comment on this blog so it always takes me longer then it should. Every time I have forgotten my password ;) I am so lame!
ReplyDeleteI am really enjoying this blog.