Ho Hum

“He asked me to go on a trip with him…”

“That’s great,” Zoey said through the phone.

“No it’s not, cause we probably aren’t going now, we got into a HUGE fight.”

“Why would you guys end up fighting about going on a trip, I thought you were happy about the trip.”

“No, we got into a fight over the DUMBEST thing ever. Remember how I got those flowers after Valentine’s Day and thought they were from Kevin? Yeah he says he didn’t send them to me and now I’m just confused.”

“Well, you’re right about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That IS the dumbest fight I’ve ever heard of.”

“Right?”

“Well, there’s also another thing…” She trailed off and I could sense some wariness in her voice.

“Yeah, go on.”

“You’re usually not one to fight about that kind of crap. I mean if you were Elise, I’d probably sympathize with you for getting into a fight over flowers, but you don’t normally get hung up on little things like that in a relationship.”

I thought about what Zoey was saying and realized that she was right. And what was more disheartening was that I couldn’t figure out why I was acting like this with Kevin. We tried to figure out what it was about Kevin that might make me pick fights like this and Zoey posed a really big question to me.

“Well….do you still have reservations about trusting him? It was a big issue for you when you guys started dating and now that you’ve been together for three months it might be something you want to revisit. Maybe you're focusing on little details like this because you're subconsciously suspicious of him.”

We talked for a little while longer but then Zoey had to go and for the rest of the day I found it really difficult to focus on my work. I think part of my distraction was from trying to figure out who could have sent the flowers to me (yes, I’m still hung up on that) and then another reason was because I wasn’t sure if I do trust Kevin completely. Zoey is probably right, I don't trust Kevin so my suspicions come out in little things, like the fact that I’ve never been to his apartment, or that he doesn’t really talk about his friends, it’s weird to realize this after so long.