Tic-Talk

Adam and I stood there awkwardly in the hallway until he shook his head and went into his apartment. I stood there for a beat debating on whether I should follow him inside and address what he saw or pretend it never happened.

I sighed and walked down the hall until I reached his door. I knocked quietly.

“Was that him?” He asked answering the door. His voice was light and non-judgmental but his eyes were disappointed.

“Yes.” I said defiantly. I don’t know why I was suddenly so defensive, but I was.

Adam put his hands up as I walked into his apartment.

“It’s none of my business.” He said.

“You’re right, it’s not. You have no right to judge me or what I’m doing. Especially, you. Of all people.”

“What does THAT mean?” Adam asked half-laughing.

“I know you’re upset about what you just saw, Adam.”

“Is that surprising? He’s a dirtbag, Faith!”

“Is that why or is it because he’s with me?”

Adam looked at me with confusion and then realization hit his face.

“You think I’m jealous?” He accused.

“We dated, Adam. Now I’m with someone new…I understand if that’s why you’re angry.”

Adam started laughing and I felt indignant.

“Faith, I’m not upset that you’re with him because I’m jealous, I’m upset that you’re with him because I saw how hurt you were the LAST time you guys were together. Have you forgotten that I was around almost the entire time you dated him? I walked in on the two of you having sex in your apartment!”

I turned red remembering that particular incident.

“I don’t need you to worry about me. Sean and I are adults, plus, we’re both different people now. You have no idea what our relationship is like now.”

“So you actually ARE dating him?” Adam asked.

“It’s not like I was hiding it.” I said.

“Oh, so how did the girls react when you told them?” He asked with a smirk. He knew he’d backed me into a corner.

I hadn’t told Molly or Zoey about running into Sean and the relationship I currently found myself in with him. The last time he and I reconciled, they iced me out and I wasn’t sure how they would react this time but I knew it would probably not have been a positive reaction. I wasn’t sure if I even WANTED a relationship with Sean even though we’re currently dating, let alone if it was so important to me to lose my friends again. I just wanted to sit in this relationship for a little bit but now that Adam knew….

“You’re…you’re not going to tell them, are you?”

Adam cocked his head and looked at me with a flash of sadness.

“Of course not. Like I said: it’s none of my business.”

“Thank you.” I said with relief.

I turned to leave.

“Faith…”

I looked at him.

“Just ask yourself if it’s worth it, okay?”

I nodded and left to go to my apartment. That night, I didn’t meet up with Sean. He sent me a few texts asking me if I was coming over but I ignored them. I should’ve gone with my gut and refused to start things up with him again and I became frustrated at how I ended up here again with Sean. I keep making the same mistakes but at least this time I still had time to avoid the worst of it. After a few days of silence, I sent Sean a text asking him to come over so we could talk.