Smash

I sat across from Sean in my living room. He was sitting on my couch and I was sitting on my coffee table. Our talk wasn’t going well.

“I just…think we rushed into this. I wasn’t ready.” I said.

“Maybe you weren’t but that doesn’t change anything now, Faith. This feels right. We belong together.”

Sean held my hand.

“Sean.” I was frustrated. We’d been having this conversation for nearly an hour. How do you break-up with someone when they won’t accept it?

“You aren’t hearing me.” I said, “It was a mistake from the beginning to start things up with you again. It still IS a mistake. I…I went to your hotel room that night because I was sad. Not because I missed you.”

I stood up and walked toward my door. Sean followed me but we stopped and faced each other in my living room.

“Faith, don’t do this. It’s going to be different this time. Last time….last time we were both selfish and made bad decisions.”

Anger flashed through me.

“No. YOU did. I’m not the one that ruined us.” I realized that Sean still wasn’t willing to accept full responsibility for what happened and all of my feelings for him drained away.

“Oh, come on. You were so mean and nasty to me after….”

“After you cheated on me. Oh, yeah. How dare I feel anger towards you for betraying me so deeply! I wanted to MARRY you, Sean! I was SO in love with you!”

“And you think I didn’t feel the same? It was the distance that ultimately tore us apart.”

I could not believe he was acting like his infidelity had nothing to do with the end of our relationship. I crossed my arms and sniffed indignantly.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. This go around was never going to work. It’s EXACTLY like last time!”

“It’s not like last time, it’s-”

“It’s exactly like last time Sean! You’re refusing to take responsibility for destroying our relationship, truly and fully taking responsibility. You want me to share part of it and I won’t! The only thing different from last time is that this time your dick works!”

Suddenly I was staring at the floor, my cheek and eye were throbbing and then my cheek was burning. It took me a few seconds to realize Sean had hit me.

“I’m sorry! You just…you didn’t have to be so mean…” Sean said trying to touch me.

I pushed him off of me and stood up.

“I want you to leave. I never want to see or hear from you again.”

“Faith, baby…”

“No.” I said holding up a finger to him, “Do not touch me. Just go.”

“Let me explain. Let me apologize. I never should have done that. I just lost my temper.”

While Sean made his excuses I calmly walked to my door and held it open. But he refused to move.

“Get out. I want you to leave.” I said through clenched teeth.

“No, I’m not going. We need to just talk through this. We can overcome this.”

“I don’t want to.” I said, “Do you honestly think I’d want to be with you after what you just did to me? I’m not afraid of you, Sean! Get OUT!”

I lightly pushed him toward the door.

“Please just go!”

“No, Faith, I-”

“She said leave.”

A voice came from the hallway. I recognized it immediately. Sean did, too, and he laughed.

“You’re neighbors?” Sean’s eyes were cold when he looked at me.

I looked down.

“She told you to leave. I’d be happy to help you find the exit.” Adam said lightly as he strode up to my door.

“I can handle this.” I said to Adam.

Sean looked from me to Adam and then back to me. A nasty smile spread across his face.

“Oh, I see….you fucked her. Congratulations, man, I always knew you wanted to.”

I saw Adam clench his fist and go to move his arm.

“Adam, NO.” I said.

He stopped and laughed and went back to being nonchalant.

“Sean, just fucking LEAVE.” I said on the verge of tears.

“Not until we’re done talking.” He said pushing some hair out of my face.

That was Sean’s big mistake, moving my hair out of my face showed the beginning of a bruise he’d left around my eye and it didn’t go unnoticed by Adam. In a flash, Adam had Sean held up against the wall in the hallway with his forearm across Sean’s clavicle.

“You’re going to leave and never come back. If you EVER touch her again, I’ll make sure you won’t be able to walk out of here without help. Get the hell out.”

Sean pushed Adam off of him, pulled his jacket forward, and gave me a dirty look.

“You can have her.” Sean said acidly. He turned and left down the stairwell.

Adam watched him leave and then looked at me. He walked toward me and gently touched my face to turn it so he could see my black eye. He didn’t say anything but the look on his face looked pained and I wanted to fall into his arms and sob but I steeled myself.

“Let’s get some ice on that.” He said quietly. He walked into my kitchen and dug through my freezer until he found a bag of frozen peas. He wrapped the bag up with a washcloth and had me sit on my kitchen counter and then gently put it on my face. I winced and he hesitated, then placed it against my face.

“Thank you.” I said avoiding his eyes, “I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t want you inv-”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Adam said looking in my eyes.

“He’s out of my life for good now.”

“You’re going to do what you want, Faith.”

His words felt like a knife.

“No, really. We’re over. I’m never going to see him again.”

“Okay.” Adam sighed.

I could tell he didn’t believe me and I felt terrible because of it.

“Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded.

“Do you want me to call the police?”

“No.” I whispered, “I just want this to be over.

I started crying and Adam pulled me into a hug. On one side of my face was the bag of peas, on the other side was Adam’s neck. I sniffled as he rubbed my back. When we pulled apart, he moved the bag of peas to look at my face.

“That’s going to look pretty bad for a few days.” He said, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded. He kissed my forehead and headed back to his apartment.

“Adam?” He stopped and looked at me.

“I…thank you.” I said, my voice hoarse.

“What are friends for?” He said smiling at me.