Round 2

I opened my eyes, it was gray outside, just before dawn. Sean’s arm was slung over my hips, he was breathing deeply.

I sighed restlessly.

We were lying in bed, in MY bed. The night I first showed up at Sean’s hotel room a few weeks ago he had proposed we start things up again for real. I had only wanted an arrangement to distract me from dealing with my feelings about Mike and I had told him that all I was interested in was a sexual relationship and nothing more. We went back and forth on it for over an hour and he had worn me down. I had agreed to try and start things up again and see where they went.

And that is how I found myself with Sean in my apartment.

To be honest, things with Sean were moving faster than I had wanted. I’d tried talking to him about it but he always wrote me off as just being overly cautious, that we were always good together and we would be this time. My frustrations over Sean not listening or not taking me seriously had started weighing fairly heavily and I started noticing it even more during banal conversations, too.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but I gave up after a while. I slipped out of bed and put on a robe and then padded out to my living room. Sasha looked up from the couch while Murphy stretched and rubbed against my leg. I smiled at him and wandered into my kitchen, grabbed a muffin, and leaned against the counter. I knew I needed to do something, but then I thought about the night before and the amazing sex Sean and I had. Maybe he was right. Maybe we were just too good together to not give it another try. But the thing I kept getting caught on was how much time had passed between us. I wasn’t the same girl I was when we were together before and I’m sure Sean wasn’t the same guy. I had yet to decide whether that was a good thing or not, I wasn’t sure who he was this time around.

Sean came around the corner into my kitchen and pulled me from my thoughts.

“Morning.” He said kissing my forehead. He set to making a pot of coffee.

“Morning.” I said back.

“I have an early rehearsal, so I have to run, but I could meet you before you leave for work, we could grab an early dinner?”

“I can’t,” I said, “I have a production meeting a few hours before showtime.”

“Then we can do something after.” He nuzzled into my neck and pulled me to him to kiss me, “Do you want a cup of coffee?”

“No.” I said taking another bite of muffin.

He poured one for me anyway, I frowned at it.

“When do you have to leave?” I asked.

“About 30 minutes.”

“I…I think we should talk.” I said.

“Again?” He smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Yes, again.” I laughed, “Talking is what people in healthy relationships do.”

“I’d much rather talk about what you’re wearing under that robe.” He said pulling on my hips and kissing my neck.

“Stop, I’m serious.” I giggled.

“Okay.” He said grabbing his coffee cup and leaning against the counter.

“I think we need to slow down. The pace of what we’re doing is too much for me. I want to get to know you again and I feel like we’re going too fast for that to happen.”

“You DO know me.” He said putting his cup in my sink, “And I know you.”

“Sean,” I shook my head, “I’m a different person than I was three and a half years ago. I’m sure you are, too.”

He sighed.

“Why are you making things so much more complicated than they need to be? I get it, Faith, a lot of things happened between us, but that’s in the past, we should leave it there and move on, start fresh. I’m me and you are you. That’s all we need to be to each other.”

He kissed my forehead and walked out of the kitchen signaling the end of our conversation. I stared at his coffee cup in my sink and then at the one he’d filled for me with annoyance. I followed him to my bedroom where he was getting dressed.

“I feel like you’re not listening to me.” I said trying to be assertive.

“I am listening to you, but you’re worrying over nothing.”

“I’m telling you this is going too fast for me. You’re over here every night, it feels like we’re living together again.”

“Okay,” he said pulling his shoes on, “I’ll give you more space, we’ll slow things down.”

“Thank you. That’s all I wanted.” I said.

He wandered back into my kitchen and grabbed his keys from the counter.

“Whatever you want.” He said. And then he handed me the still-full coffee cup he’d poured for me earlier. I took it but didn’t drink from it.

I followed him to my door. He opened it and looked at me.

“So, when DO you want to see me again?” He smirked and leaned against my door jamb.

“Maybe I’ll stop by your place tonight after work.” I said flirtatiously.

“Is that so?” He smiled and leaned toward me, I nodded, and he kissed me aggressively. When he pulled away, he slipped into the stairwell a few feet away.

I stood frozen in my doorway, Adam was standing outside his apartment a few doors down with his keys in his hand staring at me with surprise.