Round Table Revelations

“He was going to propose?” Zoey asked.

We were eating dinner at our favorite place: a diner that specialized in great cheeseburgers, cold shakes, and crisp fries.

“Yeah.” I said dipping a fry in ketchup.

“No offense, Faith,” Penny said, “but you don’t seem very happy about…well…any of the situation at all.”

I told the girls about what happened over the holidays to bring them up to speed. Mike hadn’t made any indication that he was going to propose after New Year’s and I didn’t want to tell him I knew. When I realized that, I thought about it a lot, and then I called the girls.

Molly agreed with Penny.

“Are you sad because he didn’t propose?” She asked.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that.

“Yes…and no.” I said thoughtfully, “I’m glad he didn’t because after the fight about the pregnancy test I realized that he and I have a lot more to work through. But I’m sad because I really CAN see myself marrying him and being happy with him, just not with the relationship we have right now.”

“So…you just want more time to work things out before he proposes?” Penny asked.

“I guess so, yeah. I just don’t think we’d make it if we got married right now. He…doesn’t trust me. And there’s still the problem that he has with not supporting me when it comes to family. I mean, he took my mom’s side. He defended her.”

“But…Maggie is never going to go away, Faith.” Zoey pointed out.

She had a point.

“True, but Mike can always change the way he responds to the things she says or does. It’s not about Maggie or my mom. It’s about Mike and our relationship. Plus, I don’t know if Mike even realized this, but I don’t think having him propose on the anniversary of me cheating on him is a good idea. Maybe he wanted to change the memories for New Year’s but…yeah…no thanks.”

“So, what are you going to do? Are you going to tell him that you know he was planning to propose?” Zoey asked.

“Well, for now, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to propose. I think that fight might have changed his mind. I know it changed how I see our relationship. So I don’t think I’m going to bring it up but I am going to talk to him about our relationship and how I think we need to work on some things. I mean, if Mike won’t or can’t trust me…we’re really just wasting each other’s time, right?”

The girls all gave hesitant nods.

“I’m just not sure how to bring it up without it sounding like…I don’t know.” I shrugged with exasperation.

“You don’t want Mike to think you’re giving him an ultimatum.” Molly said.

“Yeah. And I think if I do tell him that we need to work on things and he doesn’t see what I could be talking about…I just don’t know where to go from there. I love Mike but our relationship is not perfect, NO relationship is perfect, but sometimes I think he wants to pretend it is.”

I sighed while the girls gave me sympathetic nods. This was definitely not a conversation I was looking forward to having with Mike.