Living Nightmare

I hit the sidewalk after my meeting and took out my phone. I had three missed calls from a number I didn’t know. As I stared at my phone in confusion another call came through from the same number.

“Hello?”

“Faith? It’s Tony.”

“Tony?” I realized it was Mike’s best friend, “Is…what’s going on?”

I could tell by his voice that something bad had happened. I don’t remember things very well in the immediate time after that. It’s all a blur. Tony told me I needed to come to the hospital right away. That there had been an accident and Mike was hurt. I hailed a cab but I don’t remember the ride to the hospital at all.

When I walked into the emergency room lobby, Tony was waiting for me.

“He’s in bad shape.” Tony said.

I looked around and all of Mike’s crew was there in various states of disarray. Tony was covered in smudges of soot and had a bandage on his arm.

“We need you to call his sisters. None of us know their phone numbers.”

I stared at Tony, not understanding for a moment.

“Faith?”

I pulled myself together.

“Yes. Of course. I’ll call Sarah.”

I didn’t have Maggie or Claire’s phone numbers but Sarah definitely would. My mouth was dry as I looked her name up in my contacts. It rang for what seemed like forever.

“Hello?”

“Hi Sarah, it’s Faith.”

“Faith, hi! I’m so glad you called, I wanted to tell you again how excited I am that you’re going be my sister! I can’t wait until the wedding! Can I go with you when you try on your dress?”

“Uh…yeah, sure, listen…Sarah…your brother’s been hurt. I think you should come down to the hospital right away.”

“How bad is it?” Sarah asked in a small voice.

“I…I haven’t seen him yet but…I think you should get down here as soon as possible.”

She hung up and I looked at Tony.

“Where is he? Can I see him?”

Tony went to get Mike’s doctor who pulled me aside into a private area. Mike had been asking for me since he arrived.

“Mike suffered severe burns over 75% of his body. I will take you back but I want you to be prepared for what you’ll see when you go into his room. We had to make incisions in his chest to help his skin expand so he could breathe. He has a lot of tubes going into his body. We’re trying to maintain his fluid volume and prevent infection as well as lessen the toxins in his body that are being released by the burned tissue.”

I looked at the doctor and swallowed.

“Yes.”

He turned to take me to Mike’s room but I stopped him.

“Is…will Mike recover?”

“The chance of survival for burns this severe over such a large part of his body is very low. We’re doing what we can to make him comfortable but, eventually, he will not be able to get enough oxygen to his body and will need to be placed on a ventilator. He will probably never come off of it.”

“How long does he have before…?”

“It could be a few hours or a few days.”

“Is he in pain?”

“The nerve endings in his skin have been destroyed, he can’t feel anything.”

“Does…does Mike know that he’s going to die?”

“He’s a firefighter. I’m sure he knows how bad this is.”

“Are you ready to see him?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. The doctor opened a door and I saw Mike on a hospital bed.

“We’re going to be moving him to the burn unit in a few hours.”

“Thank you.”

A nurse brought me a chair so I could sit next to his bed.

“Faith.” Mike said.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I said softly as I sat down.

I looked at his body and was stricken with fear. His skin no longer looked like skin. The smell made vomit come up into the back of my mouth. I swallowed it and took the rest of him in. Mike’s head, neck, and left arm and hand were the only parts of his body that looked human. Everything else was red and oozing. I wanted to be strong for Mike but my eyes welled up as I touched his hand.

“Oh, Faith, it looks worse than it is. I don’t even feel it. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

His eyes were pleading and I nodded. I held up his hand to my face and kissed his palm.

“Mike…”

“Listen…I….I’m gonna get better but…if I don’t, I don’t want to be put on life support, okay?”

“Mike…”

“Promise me you won’t let that happen.”

“You need to make sure the doctors know that.” I said.

“I will, but I just wanted to see you first. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Faith?” Tony had opened the door.

He motioned me to come over.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” I said to Mike.

“Sarah is here.” Tony said, “I think you should talk to her before she sees him.”

I nodded and headed back out to the lobby. Sarah hugged me.

“How is he?” She asked.

I pulled Sarah over to some chairs and we sat down.

“Sarah, Mike is really sick. I think you should talk to his doctor.”

“No. I don’t want to wait. Just tell me.”

“He has really bad burns. He’s going to die, Sarah.”

She started crying and I pulled her to me. I looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

“Can I see him?” Sarah asked.

I nodded and took her to Mike’s room.

“Sarah, he has a lot of tubes and monitors on, okay? But he can talk and he’s comfortable. Can’t feel any pain.”

She nodded and walked into his room. She immediately burst into tears and shuffled to his bedside.

“Hey, kid, don’t cry. I’m going to be fine!”

Mike put his hand on her shoulder as her body shook with sobs. I stood by the door and hugged myself. I sat next to her and Mike quietly while I picked the nail polish off my nails out of panic. I was trying so hard to keep it together for Mike. We sat like that for about an hour and a half until Sarah left to get some coffee. I told Mike I’d be back and followed her out.

“Sarah, we need to call Maggie and Claire. I don’t have their numbers.”

She nodded and handed me her phone.

“Can you do it Faith? Please?”

I nodded, took her phone, and dialed Claire first. It was a difficult call to make but Claire said she’d be on the first flight out. I stared at the phone for a few seconds before dialing Maggie’s number.

“Hello?”

“Maggie, hi, this is Faith. I’m using Sarah’s phone to-”

“Why are you calling me? To gloat over the engagement?”

“No, Maggie, you need to-”

“I don’t NEED to do anything, Faith.”

“Maggie, please, listen to me, Mike is sick, he’s-”

“Maybe he regrets proposing.”

I wasn’t sure why Maggie was being SO hostile and nasty but it was definitely clear she didn’t approve of Mike proposing to me and was probably pissed that I was wearing her dead mother’s ring.

“There was an accident and Mike is in the hospital. He’s very sick and you should come down here right away.”

“What do you mean there was an accident!? Why didn’t you say something!? I’ll be there soon!”

She hung up and I gave Sarah back her phone. When we got back to Mike’s room he told Sarah the same thing he’d told me about life support. She started crying and shook her head.

“Sarah, listen, I don’t want to be kept alive like dad was. On machines and in pain. If I get that bad just let me go, okay?”

She nodded and wiped away tears. Several nurses came in and got him ready for transfer to the burn unit. A nurse showed us where to sit until Mike was situated. A few minutes later they took us into his room and I was startled to see that he had a breathing tube in his mouth. With a sinking feeling in my gut I realized Mike didn’t tell any of the hospital staff about his wishes. The doctor walked in and I pulled him aside.

“Why is he on that?”

“It’s just to make it easier for him to breathe. In a few minutes, he’ll wake up and you’ll be able to talk to him.”

Just as the doctor finished talking, Maggie walked into the room.