The day after Molly’s announcement, I decided to call Mike.
“I miss you.” I winced at how pathetic that sounded, “And I
don’t really know what else to say.”
“I miss you, too.” Mike said.
His voice was soft.
“Do you want to come over and talk?” He asked.
“I would love that.”
I bundled up in a sweater and headed out to meet Mike at his
place. When I got there he handed me a cup of coffee. I sat down on his couch
and he sat next to me. I wasn’t sure what to say so I sipped my coffee and
waited for him to start talking.
“Faith, I…I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days
and I want us to be together.”
I reached out and held his hand while he talked.
“I want that, too.” I said.
“I think part of the reason it bothered me so much that you
thought I could be cheating on you is because I’m not that kind of guy…and I
feel like you know that. So I don’t understand
why you would even think that.”
I slowly put my coffee cup down on his end table and looked
at him.
“Mike, I wasn’t sure that you were cheating on me. But you have to understand that in the case of
likely scenarios, the idea that you have a half-sister was not the one that
seemed the most plausible. It wasn’t even on my radar. And I’ve long stopped
believing that there are men out there who are incapable of cheating on the
women in their lives….”
I hated how jaded and cynical the last part sounded and I
when I looked at Mike’s face, I could tell he didn’t like it, either.
“It’s just,” I said trying to salvage my point, “I’ve been
cheated on by boyfriends and I’ve cheated on boyfriends…I don’t see it as
something that certain people are above doing. I see it as something that
anyone can do. I’m sorry if that makes you feel like I’m not giving you the
benefit of the doubt but no one is perfect. I know that better than anyone.”
“I care about you, Faith, I would never do that to you.”
I looked at him sadly.
“You, of all people, should know that sometimes that’s not
enough.”
“What is that
supposed to mean?”
“Mike, I was so incredibly in love with you when I slept
with Brad. It was a mistake, not a reflection of my lack of love for you. It
was a bad decision that had serious consequences and I acknowledge that.”
He looked at me like he didn’t believe me, so I tried a
different approach.
“Your….your parents are the only couple I know of who so
obviously cared about each other and loved each other as deeply as they did…but
your dad still cheated on your mom, Mike. Sometimes caring about someone…loving
someone isn’t enough.”
“I can’t believe you just brought that up.”
Mike was getting angry again. I knew it was a low blow and a
risk to bring up his dad’s affair but I needed him to understand that simply
caring about me didn’t mean he would never cheat on me.
“Mike, it’s true that I don’t really think you’re the kind
of guy to cheat on me, but I also didn’t think you would ever lie to me. And
you did.”
He backed down and sighed.
“So…now what?”
I was at a loss.
“I don’t know. Are you sure you want to be with me? Are you
sure you can move on from what happened before?”
Mike looked at me hard.
“Yes. I do. Can you trust me again?”
I nodded. Mike pulled me in for a hug and then kissed me.
When we broke apart, I held his hands.
“I need to tell you something.”
Mike was probably starting to hate hearing that phrase come
out of me.
“A couple months after we broke up, I went through a really
hard time and I ended up pregnant.”
Mike looked at me with confusion.
“I chose to terminate the pregnancy and I don’t regret it. I
just felt like I should tell you because it felt like I was keeping this a
secret from you and I did-”
Mike’s face was painted with horror and pulled his hands out
of mine like I had burned him.
“Mike, please, I-”
“I…how could you do
that? You don’t even feel bad about it? I…I need to think about this… I think
you should go.”
I was hurt. I hadn’t expected him to react like this and I
sat on his couch in shock and didn’t move immediately. We just stared at each
other.
“Mike…”
“I’ll call you later. Just go.”
I slowly stood up and left his apartment in silence. When I
got outside his apartment building, I hailed a cab and fought back tears as I
climbed into the back seat.
Holy shit. I did not see things going that way. Why is he so upset when it wasn't even his child? It's HER body, and her decision, and her right... gahhhhhhh. I used to like Mike a lot, but now I'm not sure. Poor Faith.
ReplyDeletehttp://sluttyisthenewblack.blogspot.com
I'm sorry, but I just don't feel that this experience of hers was something Faith owed Mike to tell. If she wanted to share the information for her own reasons, that's fair, but feeling like she was doing a disservice to HIM by keeping that private is the wrong reason. It wasn't his baby, so it's not any of his business. In my opinion she made the only choice she could. If she had the baby Brad would have fought her for custody and not let her give it up for adoption. He would have used that child as a pawn for who knows how long as a tool to stay in Faith's life. That's no situation to hand a helpless child over to and Faith new it.
ReplyDeleteI can kind of see where she's coming from, because I'm the same way to a certain extent...I feel like there are parts of my past relationships that have serious effects on the way I am in relationships now, and I feel like I need to explain in order to be understood.
DeleteBut I agree, this isn't something she owed to him, at least not right now, considering it wasn't his. I could see if she were pregnant now, and coming across as overly emotional or nervous about it, but that's not the situation here.
I'm not one to say a person doesn't have a right to feel a certain way, so if he's that upset about it, fine, that's his deal. But he doesn't have the right to get angry at her for making a decision that had nothing to do with him, at a time when he wasn't involved in her life.
And PS, I feel like this really proves Molly's point. So maybe he's not mad that she did it, so much as it cracks that perception of her that he has and he can't deal.
DeleteI used to love Mike and Faith and I was so happy when they got back together. But now, I feel like they are trying too hard to get back something that is long gone and, much more likely than not, will never come back. They may love and care about each other still, but I just don't see that passion anymore and more importantly, that solid foundation of trust.
ReplyDeleteSide note/question: Is posting just on Mondays now? It's totally fine if it is, just wanted to know! Also, are we done with posts from other characters' POVs? I miss hearing from the other characters :( Nonetheless, love hearing from Faith's perspective too! Thanks Del!
For now, posting is only on Mondays and the other point of view posts will be coming back soon.
Delete-del
I think Faith told Mike to prove to herself that Molly was wrong about Mike. Unfortunately she wasn't. I was with Molly on this one. Mike has a "hollier than thou" air about him and I knew he would be horrified she got an abortion even if it had nothing to do with him.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right, on both counts.
DeleteI'm with someone (or possibly someone's) who said they liked Mike a lot better the first time around. I don't know if he legit changed, or if it was always there, and they just didn't get deep enough for us to see it. Molly was right about him having this skewed image of her, and being unwilling to see or accept anything that didn't uphold it.
I don't think we saw Mike's true colors until his mother passed away and he allowed his sister to disrespect Faith and then he did. Up until that point, they didn't have anything have anything difficult (on Mike's side) to deal with.
DeletePlus when he begged her to sleep with him at his mother's funeral! I think he just wants things to be or appear perfect. I'm so over and always was over her and Mike. Even though her and sean were a mess I still feel they had more passion then her and Mike
Deletei think he thought the baby was his since she was not able to clarify....
ReplyDeleteHere Mike's saying that he's not the cheating kind but after Faith's stalker incident didn't he stop by and start kissing her when he was involved with someone else? I consider that the cheating kind
ReplyDeletei seem to mostly be the one to think completely different than everyone else all the time lol.
ReplyDeletewhile it is true she doesn't "owe" it to Mike to tell him about the pregnancy there isn't a person i know who is in a serious relationship/married that would be OK with withholding that info. There are some things people need to know about, past pregnancies/marriages are two of those things (# of partners is not).
If she was unable to have kids in the future because of the abortion than that would have significant bearing on things. She would be upset if he had gotten someone pregnant and kept it from her.
Also, not everyone is OK with abortion. You can't say it is her body/her right without the other end of the coin as well. Of course it is her decision but it doesn't make someone holier than thou if they disagree with it. That is a big thing to process.
I am one of those who need time to process things so how i react initially and how i react after i have time to really think are usually quite different.
Yes, at some point that might be info he needs to know...but that point is not right now. Right now, Faith just wanted to prove to Molly, and herself, that Mike wouldn't care. It may not have worked, but I think THAT was the motivation, not her giving him info she felt he needed to know.
DeleteAlso, him having a kid running around somewhere is not the same as her terminating a pregnancy, which had nothing to do with him, at a time when they were not involved in each other's lives at all. She made the best decision, for herself at the point in her life she was at. Even if he'd gotten someone pregnant and that pregnancy was terminated as well...she doesn't have the right to be upset over that either. They weren't involved in any way at the time it happened. Moral or religious or whatever other kind of personal beliefs aside, it's not his, or her, were the situations reversed, place to be upset with someone else for making the best decision they could, for themselves, at that time.
As far as the abortion having an effect on her having kids later...that's not a common problem anymore. And even if it were, having a kid you're not ready for, just because later, maybe, possibly, at some other stage in life, with some person she probably hadn't even met yet, isn't something she owed consideration at the time.
..the last paragraph didn't make sense, so here's a rewrite:
DeleteAs far as the abortion having an effect on her having kids later...that's not a common problem anymore. And even if it were, having a kid you're not ready for, just because later, maybe, possibly, at some other stage in life, with some person she probably hadn't even met yet, she may have wanted to have another one isn't something she owed consideration at the time.