Thursday, October 16, 2014

Real Talk

“I just need some time, Faith.”

“Well, time is up. You’ve had almost a week. Plus, I need to talk to you.”

He stepped aside from the door and I walked into Mike’s apartment with a new fire in me.

He closed the door and I spun around to look at him.

“Look, Mike, I know that what I told you was probably surprising but this whole brooding thing is getting old. You either accept it or you don’t. Time to decide.” I was surprised at how bold I was being but I felt alive for the first time in weeks, maybe even months.

Mike was surprised to. He stood there with his eyebrows raised.

“I don’t really know how I feel about it.”

“Good. Because in the time I’ve had to think about this, I’ve decided that I don’t really care how you feel about it. It was my decision to make. It was my body. And it was my future being affected. You don’t have to like what I did…but I guess…I guess I’m just here to tell you that I don’t really care if you do or not.”

My words hung between us for a beat.

“…okay.” Mike said.

I sighed and walked him toward his couch. I knew I had come off as aggressive and I really, truly did not mean to but I just couldn’t control myself. I sat him down and turned myself so I was facing him.

“Mike…I told you about my abortion because I…we are not the same people we were when we dated the first time. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s just something that happens to people as they live their lives. And I think that when we decided to try dating again we maybe expected to be in a relationship with the same person as before and that’s just not the case. And so this,” I motioned between us, “isn’t working as well as it could.”

Mike looked down and took my hands.

“You’re right. But I don’t…what if we aren’t as compatible because of that as we used to be?”

“Then we break up.” I said matter-of-factly, “But I think we owe it to ourselves and to each other to at least be honest about who we are now in this relationship rather than try to pretend we’re the same people we were a year and a half ago.”

“I agree. I just don’t know how to do that.”

“We can figure it out together.” I looked down at his hands and then back up at his face.

We hugged for a long time. When we pulled away I looked deep into his eyes.

“Mike, I care about you so much. I want to make this work.”

“Me, too.” He said.

And I could tell we both genuinely meant that.

I spent the rest of the night at his place talking on the couch. It was like we were getting to know each other all over again.

When it was time to leave, I lingered at Mike’s door. He kissed me, hesitating at first, and then gently, softly. It reminded me of our very first kiss.

“Hey,” he said when he broke away, “I was invited to this Halloween party a few weekends from now. Do you want to go with me?”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”


I gave him one more kiss before I left. We’ve been on a few more dates (actual dates outside not at our apartments) and things have been going significantly better than they have since we got back together, to be honest. This conversation as definitely a good thing for us and I’ve never felt better about where we are.

Speaking of apartments...I've moved. Mike helped me move to a new place. It's kind of weird living by myself for the first time in years. Sasha and Murphy are adjusting but I think they both really miss Molly. Things with her are still pretty chilly at work. I get the feeling she only talks to me when she absolutely has to. Things will eventually get better though, right?

31 comments:

  1. I'm so glad Mike and Faith finally talked it out, and that he realized how obstinate he was being.

    Things with Molly might never go back to normal, I wonder if something was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

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    1. I don't think Mike was being obstinate at all. Apparently abortion is an important issue to him. Faith may not care what he thinks, but she needs to just understand that he is entitled to his own opinion on issues. This relationship seems like a dam that is full of leaks and they are just putting band aids on it.

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    2. Totally agree Anon. I didn't take from that that Mike relented on his feelings. Just that he acknowledged where they are now.

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  2. I'm officially over Molly. I'm really trying hard to think of a legitimate reason you would be so hostile to a friend who isn't doing anything to harm herself or others- its just that you prefer one boyfriend over another. Personally, I file who my friends are dating as "none of my damn business unless they specifically ask me for my opinion or are being harmed". Faith is pretty much bending over backwards at this point to try and not upset Queen Molly and I'm not really understanding what the benefit to all that is or Molly's entitlement in this situation. Last I checked she had a job and relationship of her own to focus her energy on.

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  3. This relationship is sucky to read about , there's no chemistry and no friendship and no fire. I just keep waiting for something new to be posted but like the above comment it feels like they just keep putting a bandaid on and dragging it out

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    1. I feel the same way...


      thecrazyobservatory.blogspot.com

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  4. As long as both Mike & Faith allow the other a separate viewpoint regarding this subject, things should be ok on that front. But, whether I'm calling it right or not, I've always gotten a bit of a self-righteous, kind of narrow attitude vibe from Mike. I do think he tends to idealize the person he's with to fit his personal views (more than the average lover does this, anyway), rather than see her in a realistic light. So, when Faith does (or thinks) anything that doesn't measure up to his expectations, I have to wonder if he'll be able to handle it. It's also questionable whether Faith will continue to lay her cards on the table with him, being honest and upfront. It's great that she finally did that here, but her habit of waffling and avoiding issues - all the while stewing about them and eventually acting out - is a hard one to permanently change. They'd both have to be really honest, flexible, and willing to compromise to stay together happily. That's a tall order, though not impossible.

    Molly...I think Faith should make it clear she's ready to move on from all this turmoil between them. If that means a change in their friendship status, so be it. Molly seems to have control issues, and a problem minding her own business. That's where all the hostility is coming from; she should ask herself why *Faith's* love life is pissing her (Molly) off so much. It's just average issues...nothing eyebrow-raising.

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    1. I have to disagree not with just your summation of Molly, but everyone else's also. I don't think Molly is hostile in general about Faith, she is hostile because Faith is continuing to be self destructive. Obviously Faith cannot be alone. She is NEVER alone after any traumatizing event or life change in general. She is always latching onto a guy and that is self destructive. To see Faith get involved with Mike again probably hurt Molly because she cares about Faith and knows that this relationship is hurting Faith whether she realizes it or not right now. It would be really hard to see a friend continue to downward spiral all the time.

      Secondly, Mike is entitled to his expectations of a relationship and that isn't being self righteous. Who cares if he can't handle something Faith did? She STILL GOES BACK FOR MORE. If she doesn't want to conform to his wants/needs in a relationship, she shouldn't be in one with him. This relationship is a dead end. They both know it.

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    2. Yeah, Mike is entitled to his expectations of a relationship - absolutely. We *all* have certain expectations in relationships...deal-breakers, so-to-speak. But, I could understand his judgmental (from my pov) attitude better about what Faith confided to him regarding the abortion she had if, say, he professed sincere objections to it that stemmed from religious and/or ideological reasons. But, that must not be the case, since he's now willing to overlook that, apparently. Someone who has deep, fundamental beliefs about something isn't going to just let it go like he's agreed to. Mike just didn't like the fact that Faith wasn't fitting into his picture of her, and, as it has in the past, that fact totally blew his perception of her. He doesn't seem to want to deal with the woman she *really* is...the good, bad, and the ugly. Everybody has dark parts...unpleasant truths they have hidden about their character, tendencies, and past behavior. If he wants to have an open, loving relationship with Faith (or anyone) that has honesty as a fundamental element, Mike needs to listen better, without freaking out (and proclaiming a need for "space"...which means days or weeks apart, which he's done repeatedly). How can Faith ever show her true self to someone who runs away and finger-points every time things get real? The good news is, he *did* open his mind and listen to her in this post. Both people have to be somewhat flexible and willing to make certain compromises in any healthy relationship - apart from the "deal-breakers" that everyone has about 1 subject or another. And, Faith went back for more because she cares about him, and is probably still hoping they can demonstrate some mature understanding & acceptance with each other. So, she's willing to talk about it. Faith may be conflicted, but I wouldn't ever call her inflexible. She's met Mike more than 1/2 way in many situations...probably more than she should have (again, in my opinion).

      Molly, well, I think her overall personality demonstrates a need to be way more involved in the personal lives of people close to her than is healthy. Sure, anyone can get upset over a close friend being "self-destructive"...but where do you draw the line? I don't see Faith doing anything more than dating someone who Molly doesn't think is right for her. Is that a good reason for getting this worked up and causing so much turmoil? I don't think so. Mike isn't some monster who is ruining Faith's life...he's just a regular Joe-Schmoe that she's trying to work things out with. It's not up to Molly who Faith decides to have a relationship with. Switching the situation around, if Faith thought Calvin was too much of a "yes-man" and not strong enough of a personality for Molly (my perception), would it be appropriate for her to cause all this angst over it? Even if Faith believed Molly wouldn't ultimately be happy with him over time? Or, should she just let Molly handle her own love life? I just totally don't get Molly these days; she needs to step back and cool her heels.

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    3. Molly has told Faith several times that her problem isn't with Mike, it's with the fact that Faith is dating him while still in love with someone else. I don't know if Faith is still in love with Adam like she was when she and Mike got together, but I think Molly is right to not support Faith beginning this relationship with Mike under the circumstances that she did.

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    4. I'm divorced. It's been five years and I'm still in love with my ex. So I shouldn't try and date and move on because of that is what you're saying? Faith loves Adam yes, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't move on. And considering she's the one saying she's happy to be working on things with Mike it's not Molly's place to decide if she's still in love with someone else

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    5. It's one thing to date it's another to do it only to mask her feelings, also bringing that into the new relationship is not good, she already lied to Mike and wouldn't tell him who it was she dated before, she also has ran into this relationship and never told him she's getting over someone else because she doesn't want to address that herself

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    6. That's not true, though. Faith DID tell Mike she was just getting out of a relationship. That should be enough to imply that she's still getting over that person but Mike still agreed to see her after she told him that. Also, I don't think it's any of Mike's business WHO she dated before and he hasn't directly asked her (that we've seen) so I don't think Faith's behavior with that in mind is wrong.

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    7. Adam was there when she started dating Mike and she told Mike just a friend, she lied plus she kissed him. Not something I would defend so much , if she really wants this crappy relationship to work she should have told him

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    8. Yeah, I went back to one of the previous posts where she and Mike talk about where they want to take their dating. Faith does tell Mike that she's just come out of a serious relationship, and is kind of confused about what comes next - but that she'd like to try things with him. He's up for it, and doesn't press her for any details about who, what happened, etc. Also, it probably isn't fair to judge her reaction to Adam showing up at her apartment out of the blue while Mike was there: she was basically ambushed, and put in a *really* bad spot. Molly had been in contact with Adam, and knew he'd be going over to Faith's place when he showed up in town. She admitted that it was a tactic to try and get Faith and Adam back together, and sheepishly apologized for the meddling. Molly also spilled the beans to their other close friends (including Penny) at breakfast about Adam coming over to her place and all that drama; totally out-of-line to be blabbing about Faith's personal business. She seemed to enjoy it. I don't know how some of her actions lately can be interpreted as positive, or truly coming from a good place. While I think her and Faith not being roommates any longer under the circumstances is a good thing, the way she went about it - leaving her close friend high-n-dry at the last minute - can only be described as ill will; careless and thoughtless at best.

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    9. No matter if it was hard for her to see Adam again her "reaction" shouldn't have been to kiss him so yes I am 100% judging her on that and I don't care if Mike didn't ask for details she purposely left out who she was getting over. It's NOT a healthy way to start a relationship, nor is jumping into one before you get over someone else, it's one thing to "date " another to be in a relationship. I never said anything about molly so...

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    10. I can see how the placement of my comment might look like I was answering you specifically, (Anonymous directly above), but I was more agreeing with the comment (another Anonymous) that pointed out how Faith *had* talked to Mike about her serious relationship she'd just come out of. Molly's portion of my comment popped into my head as I was writing...I wasn't addressing you personally. I can't even tell which Anonymous is which, other than some are more inclined to think Faith deserves Molly's disdain, and some aren't. Also, Adam came over and basically pushed Faith into a corner (so-to-speak), crying, getting emotional, dredging up the same subject of them breaking up. He initiated the close contact and was persistent with her, when she hadn't invited him over, or indicated that any of that would be received well. In other words, he kind of broke her down, when she wasn't expecting it. I actually love Adam for Faith, and haven't really been crazy about Mike for a long time. I'd love for Faith and Adam to get back together...but I don't see that Faith has done anything particularly "wrong" here in this situation with Adam, either. I think she just believes she's doing the best thing for both herself, as well as Adam, under the current circumstances.

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  5. This blog is confusing to me. On the one hand, it's not the usual crazy extreme drama right now. On the other this relationship is boring. Can we just get a whole knew guy and have her finally move on from all the previous ones?
    I understand this is fiction, but do people really drag on with their problems and relationships like this?

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  6. I hate to admit how much I miss Adam! How can she not see that she's just buying her time with Mike?! Ughhh.

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  7. At this point I'd actually rather her be with Sean again then mike haha

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  8. Did the site for this blog change? It no longer updates on my blogger app. And the latest post in from pre-hiatus. Anyone else having this problem?

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    1. It's not showing up in my app, either. My assumption is that because she is backdating the posts to pre-hiatus time, that that's the reason they aren't showing up when a new one comes in. Because when it's posted, it isn't posted as "new" since the date is in October. I think she is trying to continue the story as if she hadn't gone on hiatus, so essentially "catching up" to real time.

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  9. Things with Molly aren't going to improve until they talk. The last time they communicated (that we are privy to) was pretty intense on both parts and ended with Faith telling her to get out after Molly finally told her that she was moving out. BTW, I can completely understand Molly's need to not live with Faith. She seems to really see Faith without the rose-colored glasses that Faith views herself with, and it had to be difficult being so aware of how Faith and Mike's superficial relationship - read, lack of genuineness - was continuing. She'd agreed to keep her opinions to herself about it, but when Faith asked her for her advice and she gave it, Faith blew up. Molly was spot on about her observation. A little distance seems like exactly what they need if there is any possibility of salvaging their friendship. Hopefully they will talk soon.

    That being said, I still am not on board yet with the rekindling with Mike. I just don't see genuine chemistry there. Maybe something will change that?

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  10. I just don't like that people don't like Mike, but didn't like Adam either. We all should just let Del write her blog her own way lol

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    1. I liked Mike the first time. Until he started treating her badly and not supporting her with his family issues. It's difficult to forget about that. Going back to him still just feels like a safety net instead of something that is positive for her.
      I miss Adam and it's too bad that storyline had to end. Still mourning the loss of him. :)

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    2. She can write the blog whatever way she wants and saying they (we) don't like Mike isn't anything to do with the writing, it's opinion , they have no chemistry and are a boring couple . We haven't heard anything that wasn't a conversation where they disagreed about something big. They times that are "good" is just faith saying "things are good" between them

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  11. Is the blog going to stay as once a week?

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    1. For now, yes. It's all I can manage with school, work, volunteering, and shadowing right now.

      -del

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  12. I'm just shocked how anyone can think Mike and her are a good fit or that they like reading about them together . Jena

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  13. I miss Adam!! I hate thinking of him with what's her name! :'( Faith open your eyes. Mike sucks!

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