Lack and Luster

Molly and I were so excited. We had our first staff meeting over the weekend and it was going to being the new theatre space. Neither of us had seen it so we were very excited for our first look. Until we got there.

Molly and I walked past a few shabby buildings and saw a bright theatre marquee jutting out over the sidewalk in front of us.

“That must be it.” Molly said excitedly.

We hurriedly continued walking and waited once we arrived at its front. Zeke had invited us to come early to check it out and we were waiting for him.

And waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

“Um. Shouldn’t he have arrived by now?” I asked looking at my phone.

“Yeah…it’s not like him to be late…”

Just then Zeke called me.

“Where are you guys?”

“Uh…at the theatre.”

“What? No you’re not. I’m here right now.”

Molly and I looked around and saw Zeke standing about a block down. The building he was standing in front of looked condemned. Molly and I shared a look as we walked closer.

Up close, it was even worse.

“Well?’ Zeke asked excitedly, “What do you guys think!?”

“Uh…” Molly said.

“You didn’t mention that it was a porn theatre and not, like, an actual stage theatre.” I said a little angrily.

“Well, technically it WAS a stage theatre and then it was converted into a porn theatre. Now we’re converting it back.”

I was really annoyed with Zeke and couldn’t stop myself from boiling over.

“I cannot believe this!” I said, “If you had mentioned this, I NEVER would have signed that contract. You told us to trust you! How am I supposed to tell my family about this?”

“Zeke, that was really shady. Does Hazel even know about this?”

“Of course she does. Look, guys, we’re getting a huge tax break for converting this space. This area has been trying to get rid of it for awhile so we’re getting some sweet deals. Because of this tax break, we’re going to be able to create a state-of-the-art theatre. This is a GOOD thing even if IS a little embarrassing right now, okay? It’ll turn out amazing!”

We begrudgingly followed Zeke inside and it was disgusting. It reeked of mold and God knows what else. It was dingy and dark and just generally gross. I dry heaved a few times.

“Zeke I feel like I’m going to get an STD just by standing in here.” Molly said.

“Just think of it as the Ugly Duckling. It looks bad now-”

“Uh, it looks like it should be condemned.” I pointed out.

“It looks bad now,” Zeke continued walking us into the house (where the audience sits), “But it’s going to be amazing. You’ll see. We’re going to be looking at plans for it during the meeting today and you will be in awe.”

Molly and I shared a look as we followed him out into the lobby and up a flight of stairs to an office that smelled like water damage where we waited for the rest f the board to meet.

The first thing of business once everyone arrived was that all of us who were offered a contract had to “buy in” on our shares to be members of the board. This was agreed upon the first time we got our contracts and writing that check was painful but it’s what got me a fair share in the theatre, so I did it. After that we basically looked over the plans several building firms had sent over and debated over which one to go with.

Zeke wasn’t lying. The plans we saw WERE amazing. It was hard to believe that the building we were currently sitting on was going to be transformed into the pictures laid out in front of us. We narrowed it down to designs that had balcony seating (because more seating means more tickets which means more money). Ultimately we decided on a design that utilized the basement for extra restrooms for audience members, storage space, and a trap door area, dressing rooms, a green room, as well as an area for the stage apron (the front part of the stage) to lower down. It also plans to convert the single purchase fly system to a double purchase fly system, which will give us more backstage space for sets and things.  

The technical side of things was even more impressive. We’re going to have an amazing sound system, intelligent lighting, and behind the back wall of the stage is enough room to build a scene shop so we won’t have to pay to have anything moved from a separate site.

Molly and I both felt so much better about things after board meeting. I can’t wait until the construction begins and we can see the progress being made.

Goodbye old porn theatre! Hello The Glass Penny Theatre!