Girls, Girls, Girls

I spent the rest of the week feeling sorry for myself and being angry. Eventually, Suzy called and insisted I join her, Amber, and Dina for a day out in the city while the weather was still hot.

We went to a bookstore and shopped around before heading to a park with some ice cream. The four of us sat under the shade of a giant elm tree and talked.

“That’s really rough, Faith.” Suzy said.

“You know, you could take this to your lawyer.” Dina suggested, “I can’t think of a more clear-cut instance of defamation.”

“I couldn’t afford to pay my lawyer for her services and knowing Eddie, he’d take it down the most expensive route possible until I just couldn’t afford to pay it. Plus, I just want to move on from this. I’m sure there’s SOMEBODY in this town who isn’t connected to Eddie and would be willing to hire me, right?” I said.

“What a terrible person that scumbag is.” Amber said.

“Yeah, it almost makes you wish that he DID lose his theatre. What an ass!” Suzy said joining in.

I sighed.

“I think the biggest thing I’m most bummed about is not being able to quit Bruno’s. I mean, I was SO ready to not work there anymore. It’s not that the work environment is bad or anything…I just…I was ready for a CAREER, not a dead-end job with no end in sight. I was so close to having that.”

Dina rubbed my shoulder.

“You could still quit.” She suggested feebly.

I snorted.

“Yeah, so I can be unemployed and with no career?” I said.

Dina looked hurt.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I’m just frustrated. Maybe I deserve this.”

“Why do you say that, Faith?” Amber asked.

“Because…maybe I was just too naïve. I knew that deal seemed too good to be true. No one just gets HANDED a job like that. I haven’t put in NEARLY enough dues to get handed a job like that. It was silly of me to get my hopes up. I just…”

“What, Faith?” Dina asked.

“I’m just sick of having so much crap thrown my way. The past year and a half has been so hard for me. It would be nice for SOMETHING to finally go my way, you know?”

They nodded and a silence fell over us. I felt guilty for being such a downer and decided to change the subject.

“Sorry guys, I'm not very fun right now. Tell me what’s going on with you.”

Suzy gave a sly look to Amber.

“Well, Amber has something exciting to announce!”

“Really?” I asked.

“Adam asked me to move in with him!” She yelled.

She started blushing and we all congratulated her.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” Dina said.

“Me, too! What a great couple!” I said.

Amber told us all about how he did it and when. He got a pizza and wrote “move in with me?” on the lid of the box so when she opened it she read it.

“I immediately said yes and then we spent the next few hours celebrating without the pizza in our soon-to-be living-in-sin couple’s bedroom.” She joked, “I’ll just have to invite you guys to our housewarming party, whenever we actually figure out WHEN I’m going to move in.”

The girls wanted to go get drinks after we finished our ice cream but I just wasn’t up for it so I said goodbye. I called Zoey and asked if she wanted to grab dinner with me. It felt like I hadn’t heard from her in ages. We met at a pizza place, ordered, and sat down with some sodas. I told her all about the Eddie saga, which she already knew most of from Molly and how I was feeling about all of it.

“Well, Faith, I really hope Eddie regrets what he’s done to you. It’s just not fair and it’s sort of sociopathic how easily and nonchalantly he did it, but that’s a different conversation for another day.”

“I can’t help but also be upset with Zeke. I know there’s no way he could have known the fallout that happened here but I NEVER would’ve been part of any of that deal had I known how badly this would affect my life. I just keep getting crapped on by the universe!” I said dramatically.

“Now, that’s not exactly fair, Faith. Things could always be worse. I mean, yeah, your apartment burned down, but you found Murphy afterward and it eventually led you to Mike.”

“Who I am still getting over because I ruined our relationship.”

“Yeah, but…that wasn’t exactly the universe crapping on you, was it?” Zoey said matter-of-factly.

It made me wince. She was right. I had done THAT all on my own.

“Everything is just…so…HARD.” I whined.

“Look at it this way, Faith: yeah your life has been pretty freaking sucky for a long ass time, but right now, you’re working on doing what you can to fix it and make it less sucky. That’s not going to happen overnight. Things got this way gradually; you’re not going to be able to fix it without it being a slow process, either. This Eddie thing is a roadblock and I’m sure the universe is going to crap all over him at some point, too.”

Our pizza was ready and I went to go get it. Zoey was right. This Eddie thing is just something I’m going to have to move on from. There’s no use dwelling on it. Coping with this is the first big challenge in my therapy goals since deciding to get my shit together and how I deal with it will determine if I’m going to change or if I’m just going to keep destroying my life. Although, from where I’m standing, Eddie has really helped to do that without a ton of input from me.

Okay, okay, enough with the overdramatics. I’m going to work on my resume and figure out some new theatres I could potentially work for in the city.