“I want you to come by the fire house and meet the guys. You
could come hang out and watch a football game with us.”
“Won’t that be kind of weird?” I asked Mike.
We were eating dinner at my place and waiting for the potato
casserole I made to finish baking. Mike was using a laser toy to play with
Murphy from the couch.
“Why? They know about you, plus, you already met Tony.”
“Yeah, but this is, like, your boss and stuff. And I think
it would be weird for you to meet Tucker or Eddie or Joe.”
“But these guys are my family, Faith. They aren’t just
co-workers. And besides, I have met your Bruno pals.”
He was right. Mike has stopped by the bar a few times when
it’s been slow and he’s met Cara, Bruno, and Brad.
“Come on, Faith. At the very least you could meet Dolly. We
could fool around in the sleeping quarters if you get bored...”
He pulled me to him and gave me a hot kiss bet we were
interrupted by the timer on the oven.
“Dinner time.” I said.
Mike pretended to be annoyed and helped me set the table
while the casserole cooled. I made up a salad and got us some sodas (and fed my
hungry baby) before settling down at the table.
“Okay.” I said.
“You’ll meet them?”
“Yes.” I smiled. Mike smiled back and took a moment before
speaking again.
“I don’t want to scare you away or anything…and I now we
haven’t been together for very long in the grand scheme of things but I’m so in
love with you, Faith. I think about our future sometimes. Does that freak you
out?”
“No.” I said, “I think about it, too.”
“Have you thought about maybe moving in together?” He asked.
I froze a little bit. The last time I’d had a conversation
like this was with Sean and he ended up basically living with me because he
sublet his apartment while he was on tour.
“Hey, whoa, I was just asking, we can pretend like I didn’t.”
Mike said noticing my reaction.
“It’s…not that.” I said, “Mike, I don’t think I’ve really
told you much about my past relationships. I know I told you that I was engaged
to my last boyfriend and that it wasn’t very healthy but I think I owe it to you
to tell you just how much damage that relationship and the one before it did to
me.”
Mike looked at me with concern, put his silverware down, and
held my hand. I took a deep breath and started in.
“My relationship with you is very different from what I had
with Sean. And part of that is because I wanted to forget about the
relationship I had before him. I dated my boss before Sean. He was engaged to someone
and lied to me about it, when I broke things off he made my job a living hell
and tried to hurt me when I quit. Then I met Sean; I didn’t want a relationship
with him at first. We met at a bar and I went back to his hotel room and we’d
had that arrangement for awhile.”
The shame I felt telling Mike this cascaded over me and my
eyes welled up.
“Faith, it’s okay.” Mike rubbed my hand with his thumb.
“Almost from the beginning of our relationship, Sean lied to
me; he had jealousy problems, and would constantly accuse me of lying or having
feelings for my boss. This behavior only got worse when I ran into my boss at a
bar and he tried to hurt me and it was bad; it’s why I have those nightmares.
Sean got involved and because of that I couldn’t press charges but he turned it
around and tried to use it as evidence that I still had feelings for my boss.
He showed up at my work once and saw me talking to my friend, Adam, and got
very upset with me. And I thought that was okay because he had to justify our
relationship to his manager and almost gave up his position in the band to be
with me.”
My voice shook.
“When Sean went on tour, I think I was able to see just how
unhappy I was with the relationship and I think he knew it which is why he
asked me to marry him. Eventually he ended up cheating on me and getting that
person pregnant. But we didn’t completely break things off. Sean would still
come over and…and…I was seeing someone else at the time and I feel so badly
about that.”
I looked up at Mike and waited for him to start yelling but
he didn’t. He just continued to listen.
“But then I called it off, for real, and I told the person I
was dating, too, who chose to break it off as well. And then I found someone
else and we’d had the same arrangement that Sean and I had had before we
started dating and that person wanted to take things farther and the only
reason we didn’t was because I’d hurt his feelings on our first actual date. So
then I decided I should avoid dating for awhile which is when you entered into
my life. And everything with you has been so different and I’m not afraid to
tell you things like I was with Sean, I’m not afraid you’re going to make
accusations like he did, you actually trust me even when I told you I lied to
you that one time, and I…I don’t really know how to be in a relationship like
this, I guess.”
I let out a breath and then looked at Mike with trepidation.
After a while he spoke.
“Faith, I love you.”
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say after all of that?”
Mike laughed.
“Yeah. I know you had a life before me and it would be
pretty stupid of me to expect you not to be shaped by it. I love ALL of who you
are and I would marry you tomorrow if I didn’t think doing so would be
absolutely insane and also scare the hell out of you.”
I practically leapt across the table to kiss him and give
him a hug. (We are not getting married any time soon, though!)
Mike is such a keeper! Now let's get busy in the sleeping quarters at the firehouse!!! mum
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