Paths

Today was everyone’s last day. We spent most of it packing up our desks and saying good byes. Stormy is talking to me again. We’ve been on speaking terms ever since I ended things with Sean. Speaking of Sean, I haven’t heard from him at all, which I’m taking as a good sign. I’ve lined up a few interviews but I’m not sure that I even want the jobs. They’re all related to HR and after having to tell all of my friends that they don’t have jobs anymore I don’t want to work in HR again. I’ve fired people before but it was almost always because they did something that warranted firing based on the company’s policies. But laying off people I’ve grown to care about? That was so much worse and I haven’t slept well since.

I can’t exactly be picky, though. This is a hard job market to find any job in. I feel like I need a change, though. I do need to find a job soon, though. If I don’t I won’t be able to afford my rent. I have some money saved up and if I have to, I could use it to break my lease and put a down payment on a much smaller more unemployed-budget-friendly apartment. I’ve been thinking about another alternative for awhile, though, and brought up my idea to Stormy.

“Have you seen a lot of apartments?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah. I’ve had to reevaluate the ones I was considering, though, what with being out of work.”

Stormy chose to void his contract with the news station (something Veronica and the investors were NOT happy about) and try freelancing as a journalist and applying to some big papers around the city.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe WE could be roommates.” I said.

“What?” Stormy looked at me skeptically.

“Come on, you’ve been living with me for awhile now. We get along. Our schedules work pretty nicely. We could afford a nicer apartment if we pooled our money.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re both unemployed. And because we have a weird relationship.”

“What? No we don’t.”

“Faith, come on. We both know that I want to be more than your friend.”

I looked away from him.

“You’re not ready. I get that. If I can’t be your boyfriend, then I’ll take being your friend but living with you permanently is probably not a good idea for us. I’m a guest in your house; things would be different if we lived together for real. Besides I think I found a good apartment. I’m planning on putting a down payment on it tomorrow.”

“Oh.” I said trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

Stormy went to pack up some of his things and I thought about what he said. I’m not sure how I feel about him. I like having Stormy as a friend but maybe he’s right. Maybe living with a dude is a dumb idea for me. I seem to mess everything up and I wouldn’t want to ruin the only friendship I have left.

Speaking of the girls, I haven’t heard from them since Zoey left my apartment. I’ve tried calling and texting and sending messages on Facebook and haven’t gotten any responses. I’ve really screwed everything up.