Win and Lose

I stopped by the bathroom on my way out and checked myself in the mirror. I applied some lip gloss and ruffled my hair, straightened my coat, and took a deep breath. Kevin was waiting outside the doors leaning on a lamp post. He looked very James-Bondy and, honestly, super hot. He smiled when he saw me and we started walking to the Italian place he had suggested earlier. We talked about the weather and how cold it had been the past few days and the upcoming Superbowl until we reached the restaurant. Once we were seated and had ordered (chicken parmesan for him, four cheese lasagna for me, and an appetizer of garlic bread) Kevin looked at me very sincerely.

“Faith, I didn’t know that Hannah was coming today and I’m sure you’re probably very frustrated with me,” I gave him a look, he cleared his throat and continued, “I put you in a very inappropriate position and for that I am truly sorry. I want you to know that I called everything off with Hannah today in my office-“

“If I was the reason you called things off-“

“You weren’t. I decided to call things off because Hannah wasn’t giving me any space. We talked after the Holiday party and I told her that I was having second thoughts about the wedding and needed to take a week to think things through. I had wanted to talk to her about that for awhile, it had nothing to do with what happened between us. With her showing up today at my office…I just knew that things weren’t going to work out between us and so…it’s over. Completely.”

I looked at Kevin, he was very sincere, but I still had reservations, “I don’t know if I can believe you,” he looked devastated, “You lied to me about being engaged, you made me feel guilty for what happened at the party, and you put me in a very awkward position when it came to who you wanted to be with. You showed up at my house drunk!”

Just then our food arrived and the waiter refilled our water glasses. Kevin sipped his and waited for the waiter to leave before starting again, “I am really embarrassed about that, Faith. I don’t know what I was thinking, I never drink and it was such a stupid thing to do. In my drunken mind I thought it would be romantic or something instead of sloppy and disgusting, not to mention ridiculous….who does things like that? I’m not that guy, I’m not a guy who gets drunk and makes out with strange women in bars and goes to their houses shouting things, I’m not the guy that cheats on his fiancée….that just isn’t who I am. I think…I’m not excusing my behavior, but I think I was doing those things because I knew I wasn’t in love with Hannah anymore and just wanted out.”

I let a silence fall over the table while I ate my food and thought about what Kevin was saying. This was one of the most candid conversations we’d had since meeting and despite the heavy conversation I was really enjoying his company.

“I don’t know what to say…” Kevin put his hand over mine.

“Listen, I know you’re with that guy and everything, and I’m really happy for you about that, but I just wanted you to know that I’m willing to wait for you because you are who I want to be with.”

“Uhm, yeah that ended a few weeks ago. Apparently he was a priest.”

Kevin and I both started laughing. I explained the whole story and felt the tension leave our table. Kevin smiled at me and continued eating his food. The conversation turned to work related stories and we both started getting very flirty. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and called Zoey, but got her machine so I called Elise. She picked it up on the fourth ring and I started panicking into the phone.

“You have to help me,” I whined.

“What did you do?” Elise said laughing.

“It’s not what I did it’s who I’m contemplating doing it with once I leave this restaurant.”

Elise calmed me down but didn’t really help matters much because she pretty much told me to “go screw Kevin’s brains out”. I decided to make a very bad decision.

Once we left the restaurant we walked back to the office and Kevin offered to give me a ride home. I accepted and once we were both in his car we started making out. He smelled so good, eventually we came up for air and Kevin drove to my apartment….very quickly.

“Why don’t you park it,” I whispered in his ear. He turned the corner and found an open spot. We walked up to my stoop and I unlocked the door, before I knew it we were in my apartment removing shirts and shoes when my phone started ringing.

“Don’t answer it, they’ll leave a message,” Kevin started kissing my neck and unzipping my high-waisted skirt. It stopped ringing and I dismissed it. I started unzipping his pants when it started ringing again. I grabbed my purse and told Kevin to make himself comfortable in my bedroom.

“Hello?”

“Faith!? It’s Zoey, I’m at the hospital.”

“Are you okay, what’s going on?”

Zoey sighed heavily, she sounded exhausted, “Anna had a miscarriage, it’s bad.”

I got the hospital information and started putting my clothes back on, Kevin heard me on the phone and came out.

“Is everything okay?”

I explained everything and Kevin dropped me off at the hospital after giving me a kiss good night.