Friday, January 29, 2010

Established

I made it through the next couple days at work nicely, Kevin gave me the space I needed and last night I decided to check up on Anna. She’s doing okay, but Theo is looking into a few grief counseling groups around the area for the two of them. They were both devastated by the miscarriage and he thinks it would be a good idea. I can’t help but agree, Anna doesn’t like to talk about her emotions that much and holding all of her feelings about the miscarriage inside could only do her more damage. Zoey’s schedule has been super crazy at the magazine lately so we made a date to meet this Saturday. I’m looking forward to having some Zoey time, especially since I have yet to tell her about Kevin and me.

On that front, Kevin came over tonight. We planned to get dinner, but he ended up having to fix an emergency at the paper and had to stay late. He came over around nine and looked happy to see me after dealing with work. I let him in and offered to take his coat before we both sat on the couch to talk.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“That sounds really great, how was your day?” He asked as I got up to get the coffee and a few cookies.

“It was okay, I called Anna, she’s doing okay.” I said from the kitchen, “I wanted to thank you for driving me to the hospital that night, it was really great and you didn’t have to do that.” I came out of the kitchen with two coffee cups and a few butter cookies on a plate.

“Sure, of course, it wasn’t a problem, I’m glad I could help.” Kevin said taking a cup.

I sat down and looked at Kevin while he sipped his coffee and started the dreaded “us” conversation we both desperately needed to have.

“Kevin, I want to be with you, but I feel like I should be as honest about our relationship as possible even if it means you won’t want to be with me anymore.” He put the coffee cup down and looked at me.

“Okay.”

“I still feel uneasy about trusting you completely. I also feel uneasy about the fact that we work together and that you’re my boss. And I really feel uncomfortable about what would become of our working relationship if this doesn’t work out.”

“Fair enough”

“So…I have a few conditions…”
Kevin cocked his head, intrigued and continued, “Okay.”

“I need to know if Hannah is still in your life and what kind of relationship you have with her now. I want to know if she knows about us and the things that happened with me while you were still together.”

Kevin made eye contact with me and took a deep breath, “Yes, Hannah is still in my life. We lived together before I broke everything off but she’s been staying with her sister while unpacking, I hardly see her. Our relationship is cordial but she’s obviously hurt and is still hoping for a reconciliation, which is never going to happen, Faith. I promise you," Kevin took my hand and looked even deeper into my eyes, I saw nothing but sincerity, “I want to be with you, I’m not in love with Hannah and I haven’t been for awhile. Lastly, she doesn’t know about anything. I feel like it’s respectful to keep it that way…at least until she has a chance to move on and understand that the relationship has passed.”

I processed everything and nodded, “Okay, I can accept that. The last thing might be the most difficult for you to agree to.”

He prepared himself, “Okay.”

“If we break up you have to leave the paper.” Kevin went to say something but I cut him off, “I like my job too much to work with someone I’ve been romantically involved with, especially if this becomes serious. I don’t want to leave my job and you were brought on to be a temporary replacement for George. I’ve been working there longer so I shouldn’t have to leave.”

Kevin sat silently for a minute and considered my proposal. He shook his head and my stomach dropped. When I was thinking about our relationship and working together last night, this seemed like a reasonable request. It wasn’t until I silently started panicking that I realized Kevin was smiling. He started laughing and I felt super confused.

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to agree to that… but, okay, I’ll leave.” My mouth dropped. “So can we define what we’re doing now?”

“Uh….yeah, sure.” I stammered, still surprised.

“So I’m going to refer to you as my girlfriend now, is that okay with you?”

“Yeah.”

“And I’m not going to date other women, is that okay with you?”

“Of course. And I’ll do the same.”

We both kind of felt waves of relief come over us and ended up snuggling on my couch watching movies on cable and eating cookies. We didn’t have sex, there may have been some making out, but eventually Kevin gave me a kiss goodnight after we made plans for a date on Sunday. After he left I felt so much better about everything going on with us, I just have to figure out how to explain it to my friends…

3 comments:

  1. I still think this is a bad idea since office romances often get messy but Faith is going to do what she wants. I don't really trust Kevin and I seriously doubt that Hannah is completely gone from his life. And come one him leave the paper when he's the boss? Doubtful. If they are going to do this I hope they take it slow.

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  2. I'm confused...I just started reading your blog so I'm catching up from the beginning. I like it alot so far but I'm wondering---in December Kevin's finacee was named Hannah & now ur calling her Holly? Is that a typo or am I missing something???

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  3. where did you get Holly? It has always been Hannah~

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