Pipes

So my strategy of dealing with Adam’s outburst has basically been to pretend it didn’t happen. I’m not proud of that (and I know he’s not all that thrilled about it either based on his strategy of dealing with me not dealing with it…which you’ll all see in a second) but that’s what’s going on.

I was over at his place helping him pack for his surgery.

“How long are you going to be there for?” I asked looking over his overnight bag.

“It depends on if it goes smoothly or not but they’ll probably keep me there for a day or two to make sure I don’t get an infection or something.”

“Do you want to bring your slippers?” I asked holding them up.

“Might as well, last time my feet were cold constantly and the socks didn’t help.”

We went over everything in his bag again to make sure nothing was left out.

“Well, I think that’s everything,” Adam said with his hands on his hips, “Thanks for helping me pack…”

“You’re wel-”

“I love you.”

Aaaaaand THAT would be how Adam has chosen to deal with me not dealing with it: by repeating it every chance he gets.

I have chosen to ignore it.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked walking to his kitchen.

He had very few choices as he had to be on a clear liquid diet for several days prior to his surgery.

“Hmm. I guess I’ll go with the chicken broth…again.” He said as he dug through his fridge.

I was taking Adam to the hospital the next morning at the ass crack of dawn (Molly let me borrow her car) and we had decided I should spend the night so I wouldn’t have to wake up any earlier than necessary.

“Alright, missy,” Adam said as he climbed into bed, “We have to get up early tomorrow so no hanky panky from you. I know I’m irresistible but you’ll have to just try to contain yourself.”

“God you’re funny.” I said sarcastically.

I climbed into bed and snuggled up to him.

“This is kind of weird, huh?” Adam asked, “You…sleeping in my bed….with me…for the first time…and we’re fully clothed?”

“Go to bed.” I said rolling my eyes and turning over on my other side.

I laid there for awhile staring at the wall.

“Actually…” I sat up and looked over at him.

“What?” He eyed me.

“How long after the surgery before we can…you know…NOT be fully clothed in your bed?”

“I don’t know.” Adam said after a moment, “I never asked.”

“Well, you probably should ask after the surgery is done.” I said.

Adam put his arms behind his head and gave a satisfied sigh.

“You can’t resist checking me out, huh?” He joked.

“Yeah, cause I’M the one who’s not going to be able to contain themselves.” I said facetiously.

I laid back down and stared at the wall. I had a sudden weird thought pop in my head so I turned over and snuggled up to him again.

“Can I ask you a question? About sex?” I asked him.

“I guess.” He said eyeing me.

“Do you think it’ll be weird for you? After sleeping with…her…you know?”

“What kind of question is THAT?” Adam sat up and looked at me like I was crazy, “Are you serious? You really want to talk about my sex life with Amber….Patricia….whatever her name was?”

“I’m not asking you for the details but she lied to you…about everything…you guys lived together. There was obviously a connection. Are you going to be ready to have sex after such a…a…betrayal?”

I winced at how dramatic I sounded.

“I think I’ll be fine.” Adam said not taking me seriously.

“I’m serious.” I said, “Are you going to be okay emotionally?”

“Um, yeah?” He was looking at me like I was crazy, “It’s just sex, Faith.”

I gave him a dirty look and he started back-tracking.

“I mean…there’s really no way I’m gonna be able to undo that so I'm just going to stop talking...”

I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

“What I’m saying is…do you think that the hang ups you’ve been feeling with sex aren’t just because of the bag? That maybe they could be connected to you being hurt by Amber’s lies?”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s just the bag.” Adam eyed me again.

“You don’t feel anything?” I asked.

“Look, I worked through all the feelings I had about my last relationship before we ever got together, Faith. I’ve…moved on.” He shrugged.

“Just like that?” I was confused.

“Well…yeah.”

“How?”

“I wrote a lot. I wrote about how I felt and saw a therapist for awhile. I still write but not as often as I used to. I just feel like I’ve worked through the aftermath of everything and have moved on and have been past it for awhile.”

“Oh.” I said with a little disappointment.

Part of me was envious of Adam. He seemed so well-adjusted about it all and I’ve been in therapy for YEARS because of a bad break-up; all he needed was a few months of therapy after a hugely traumatic event and a journal. It took me months to just be able to sleep at night. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Okay then…never mind.” I said laying back down.

I could feel him still sitting there.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

I sighed and sat back up.

“I just….sometimes I feel like a huge loser around you.”

“What? Why?” He laughed.

He stopped laughing when he saw my face.

“You just...you don’t seem any different since she hurt you. Molly and I had to MOVE just to be able to sleep at night and you don’t seem like it’s affected you at all. Sometimes you make me feel like I’m really unbalanced or crazy.”

Adam pulled me into a hug.

“I moved, too.” He said, “And you haven’t ever slept next to me, before. I still have bad dreams. I still remember the feeling of the knife going in. Some of us just aren’t as honest as you are about our progress.”

I teared up and held him tight while he patted my hair. When we pulled apart he gave me a kiss.

“I just want to make it clear though that there are no problems with any of this.” He motioned to his lap, “I may not be able to sleep sometimes but the little man still works, okay?”

“Little man?” I smiled.

“Uh, I mean, the big…no…HUGE man still works.”

I laughed and we hugged again.

“Thank you.” I said snuggling up to him as we laid down.

“For what it’s worth, I haven’t had trouble sleeping since we started dating.”


(Author's note: I updated the Character Guide Page with new characters and a full description of Adam. Also, lux, I responded to your comment on the FAQ page, sorry it took so long! I only just saw it. -del)